The marvellous Lord of Evil and Mischief's diary
- L-O-K-I. It's not a hard word. Just write your real name, cheapo.
[Edited by Tony]
Don't you ever mess with my godly diary again you mewling litte - Ahem, back to the diary.
As I have been captured on this shabby island, I have decided to start my very own journal. I have lost my track of time and I, for once, do not know when this miserable situation will end.
The giant leaves make up for having no real books and the piece of chalk I found beside a stone pit does quite well. They are my only friends in this time of pain, of suffering, of misery and of torture -
- We no wanna exaggerate, darling. You still got me and the iron can! We love you, Lollipop <3 [Edited by Nerdie]
I'M GOING TO BLOODY MURDER THE NEXT ONE WHO DARES INSULT THIS DIARY SO KEEP YOUR FILTHY FINGER OFF OF IT!
And don't you use that insolent slang of yours!
- Hashtag SWAG YOLO HIPSTER Hashtag XOXO [Edited by Tony]
Stark, you're a dead man. Anyway, as I was trying to point out, our situation is quite delicate. We kept ourselves from starving and freezing to death by accustoming to our new surroundings and making the best out of it.
I build a tree house -
- No, I built the tree house! [Edited by Nerdie]
- Naaah, me did! #SWAG #TREEHOUSE #IRONMANROCKS [Edited by Stark]
- But I built the bathroom! Copy cat! [Edited by Nerdie]
- You mean dat pipe we use for shitting? Ya, well done. Thanks for making an effort, Nella. #SHIT #POOP #DUMP #CACK
I have just set your puppet on fire.
- NOT THE CAPSICLE DOLL! STEVIIEEEEEE NOOOO!!! #BURN #STEVE #STONY [Edited by Tony]
I guess you won't touch my diary again. Ehehe, which grown up adult is still playing with dolls?
Note: I am ehehehe-ing at you life.
And seriously, that imitation was just pathetic. I could put an eagle on my wife's empty head and she would be more American than that bunch of sand and macaque excrements you call Steve Rogers.
- YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME STUPID AGAIN LOKI! I AM A WOMAN AND YOU MUST RESPECT ME! [Edited by Nerdie]
The hell I will do! You do not respect me and this supposedly serious diary either!
Back to my sad life story.
As if my fateful parentage and the eternal frown upon me wasn't enough, I had been imprisoned inside a flying fortress of the mortals.
They kept my inside their dungeons, tortured me and starved me for months! My anguished calls for help fell on deaf ears. No one came to my aid, no one cared for me. The outcast.
- BOOOHOOHOOOHOOO! NO LOKI WE ALL LOVE YOU!!! [Edited by Nerdie]
- Is that how you cry, Nella? Sounds like someone's kicked Santa in the ass and his HO HO HO goes BOOHOOHOOHOO ya know what I mean? #SANTA #ASS [Edited by Tony]
You guys are definitely not making this any better! And where the hell did you find that this time? I hid it too well!
ANYWAY, as if my life wasn't already hard enough, I am forced to spend it with my dense wife and a cyborg with amnesia. A cyborg who thinks I am WOMAN.
- A hot woman! Well, I never! [Edited by Tony]
You are the cheap ass among us! Fornicating with whatever you can find! Can my life get any more pitiful?
- Don't challenge destiny, darling! I'm still here to BRIGHTEN your life!!! [Edited by Nerdie]
Oh, no. Please, just don't.
I do not wish to go through all the inconvenience again I was forced to experience in that chamber of glass!
- You no like Clinty-pooh? [Edited by Tony]
Don't you remind me of that hawkward spawn of the devil! I still remember dangling from the ceiling and drooling all over myself, what a humiliation for a God!
- I think that I do remember this... [Edited by Tony]
- I like watching you sleep. [Edited by Nerdie]
What?
- What? [Edited by Tony]
*le very awkward and uncomfortable moment*
No comment.
- Dito. [Edited by Tony]
ANYWAY.
Being attacked the indigenious people of this island was by far not the worse thing that happened to me. Yes, they tied us to pales and threatened to cook me... But the really worst and most uncomfortable moment I shared with my woman and the cyborg was another one.
- I SWEAR IF YOU MENTION THE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY I WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU LIKE YOUR BROTHER, LOKI! [EDITED BY A FURIOUS TONY]
It is by far too embarrassing to even mention it. I promise you, for once, that I will keep the secret.
- I won't. [Edited by Nerdie] #FART
Damn you, vile woman! Consider yourself divorced if you lose one word about that night!
[TO BE CONTINUED]
A/N: Well, yeah. Why not? I never kept a diary, I was just too lazy. Oh, and you will find out about the 'incident' in the next chapter, but since I like games...
The first one to guess will get a dedication! [and a mental high-five] [You won't find it out.] [Noobs.]
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Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)
FanfictionAgent Nerdie is supposed to watch Loki in his cell and prevent him from pulling any wrong stunts. But she is a very hyperactive, creepy fangirl and has a disastrous crush on the mass murderer... Let the real Hunger Games begin.
