(Nerdie's P.O.V.)
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'NO'?!"
"By 'no', I mean 'no, you're not marrying the bastard who destroyed 63.91 % of New York!"
"Hey, you're not my legal guardian, so - "
"Oh, but the thing is, I am your legal guardian." Nick replied looking at me sternly with his one eye. "Gerhard Assman assigned me to watch over his crazy daughter and give her a job, so I am responsible for you, which includes - "
"I DON'T ******* CARE WHAT IT INCLUDES!!! DON'T YOU EVERY SAY MY LASTNAME AGAIN BECAUSE IT'S EMBARRASSING AND DON'T YOU BUTT IN IN MY LIFE!!!"
"See? You are already speaking like him! He is a bad influence to everyone, even Rogers would get in that container and come out the evilest and creepiest American on Earth!"
"That's not true, he may be a bad influence but the past few months have doubtlessly proved that I am the one who's almost getting him killed every time and not the other way round. YOU ARE AN OLD MAN AND A FOOL, NICKY!"
"WATCH YOUR TONGUE AGENT ASSMAN!"
"ARGH!"
" - AGENT N.! Who on this flying version of Battleship is a) in love with the enemy and b) having an awful lastname?"
"I swear I will kill everyone who calls me 'Assman' once more - "
"Hey, Agent Assman!" That was Fury's secretary, a young sunny boy next door. Oh, but this wasn't going to save him.
"DIE MORTAL!!!" I screamed and shot at the unlucky guy. Not a moment too soon (or a moment too soon in my opinion) Uncle Nick threw himself in front of him and caught the bullet with his teeth.
Seriously, with his teeth.
Stark wasn't exaggerating when he said Nick was THE SPY. I mean, holy mother of Poptarts, who can do this? Except for Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan and Loki of course.
"ASSMAN! DO YOU REALISE WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME?! LOKI IS INFLUENCING YOU, HE IS MAKING ANOTHER LIKENESS OF HIMSELF! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW MUCH YOU HAVE BECOME LIKE HIM?!"
"I DIDN'T BECOME LIKE LOKI YOU PUNY MORTAL!!!"
At this, he raised an unbelieving eyebrow.
"Fine, I may have become a bit like Loki, but only because we love each other so much! He can't live without me, he will die of a broken heart and you know that. Why can't you just allow us to marry? Who are thou to preventeth our love?"
"Oh, please." He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do I have to retell it all again? I am the one responsible for you because you are underaged. You are not 18, so you can not marry without my permission!" (A/N: is that right? In Germany, it is like this....)
"But Loki is, like, three-thousand-and-something! Don't you think this suffices for both of us?"
"I'm sorry. But I want to protect you. We're done."
"But - "
"WE'RE DONE!" He shouted and I was dragged out of his office.
When I stormed into Loki's cell, I saw him watching me with curious and longing eyes. Woa, not his usual 'Imma kill you while you're sleeping' - stare.
"What did he say?" He asked me suspiciously softly.
"He said.... I'M TOO FRIGGIN' YOUNG TO MARRY!" With that, I collapsed crying on the floor and rolling around like a rolling pin.
YOU ARE READING
Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)
FanfictionAgent Nerdie is supposed to watch Loki in his cell and prevent him from pulling any wrong stunts. But she is a very hyperactive, creepy fangirl and has a disastrous crush on the mass murderer... Let the real Hunger Games begin.
