A/N: This is more like a ONE SHOT thingy than a real chapter... Don't ask me what inspired me to this. It was Spongebob Squarepants.
(Third Person's P.O.V.)
It was away.
The icky goo (and don't ask what it consisted of... you don't want to know) that Loki used to tame his princely locks... Away. Up and away.
Nerdie was already high and far up a palm tree seeking protection from the raging tornado of mischief below her. Admittedly, she was also having too much fun watching him but she was THE creepy existence herself.
Phase 1: Anxiety
"Oh, dear... What am I to do? I cannot - Ah, 'tis so cold! Mother, where are you?" He mewled almost patheticly and with slight symptoms of upcoming insanity... It was 42 degrees.
"Well, who's the mewling one now, Loki?" Nerdie scoffed, more to herself than really daring to direct it at him because....
Phase 2: Denial
"Alack, it cannot be... Impossibly. It is not lost, I must have left it somewhere between life-sized sandcastles of Asgard and the leaves I wrote my new novel on... Yes, it is definitely there. I cannot have lost it, I am Loki and I do not lose things... Losing things is for ignorant idiots."
"You must've learned from the biggest one, then." His amused wife commented and began to sip coconut milk.
"LOSING IS FOR IDIOTS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I DO NOT LOSE THINGS!"
And 'tis safe to say, we have reached Phase 3 with him.
Anger.
"WOMAN!" He shouted and hit the tree, making his young wife lose her hold and fall directly into his arms. You'd think this was romantic, when really - Believe me, it was not.
"YOU HAVE THREE DAMN SECONDS TO TELL ME WHERE YOU PUT MY HAIR GEL OR I - "
"I don't have it." She smirked as she mimicked his voice. Alas, wrong time for jokes. "You need the hair gel to feel pretty, but I - "
Loki let go throwing her on the ground and making that war face that was just too adorable and frightening at once. Poor Nerdie. I, the omniscient narrator of this story, couldn't handle a husband with that many faces, moods and a distinct bipolarity.
"I will not ask you again, woman. Where is what belongs to me?" He forced the words out like he was taking a shit with constipation.
Breathing heavily and almost making these small veins on his forehead explode in exhaustion.... or determination.
Note the fecal humour.
Don't judge me.
I'm special.
"First of all, you just asked me again. And secondly, I'm right here."
"I was definitely NOT caring about where you were roving around, stupid ******* "
"Did you just called me stupid - YET AGAIN?!"
"Oh, please - Don't pretend you're not. NOW GET ME MY BLOODY HAIR GEL! I WANT IT NOW!"
"I DON'T HAVE YOUR FREAKING HAIR GEL AND DON'T YOU PRETEND IT MAKES YOU LOOK ANY BETTER!"
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME UGLY?"
"I DIDN'T CALL YOU BEAUTIFUL!"
"Fine.... Fine, Nerdellia Hildegard Assman. I know how to get you to talk."
YOU ARE READING
Unnerving the God of Mischief (Loki Comedy)
FanfictionAgent Nerdie is supposed to watch Loki in his cell and prevent him from pulling any wrong stunts. But she is a very hyperactive, creepy fangirl and has a disastrous crush on the mass murderer... Let the real Hunger Games begin.
