Wattpad Clichés

37. The Yakuza

37. GANG GANG GANG GANG

FOR SOME REASON, I LIKE these stories. Like, they are pretty popular on Wattpad and the ones like Luciano and Omertà are funny as fuck and super fucking gooOoOooOod man. 10/10 would recommend.

Lmfao I promise I'm not sponsored by these Authors to say good shit about their stories. I should be. Sponsored for ranting- sounds nice.

BUT THEN EVERYONE WOULD HAVE RANT BOOKS SO MAYBE NOT.

So, I like them. But they have their clichés and I guess you guys don't like them so I'm gonna pretend like I hate them.

... What? Don't look at me like that. It's called "Supply in Demand". I think it is anyways. Get with the program.

One thing I can say negative is that they're always fucking Italian.

Now, I like italian men. They're good-looking and tan and they speak italian. I wish I was good looking and tan and spoke italian, so I'm green with envy.

BUT I PROMISE GANGS AND MAFIA ARENT ONLY IN ITALY GUYS. Like I understand the thing with the Sopranos or The Godfather (both my dad's favorites but i know literally nothing about either) and how I think they're italian old men, but chill. Ever heard of the Yakuza?

Yeah, straight Japanese.

Also, the concepts are typically the same. The girl's dad owes something to a gang leader, so he uses her as..

Fuck. Figure out the word used for people who are kidnapped as leverage and I'll fucking paypal you $100 because I literally thought and thought and it isn't popping up ): I'm sad because of this.

.. he uses her as (that) by kidnapping her. While he kidnaps her, they become super fucking comfortable together and it's all laughs and games and cute gang members (who are funny as shit) until theY FINALLY REMEMBER THAT SHE IS A HOSTAGE.

That also baffles me. I literally forget that she is a hostage because she is living the lavish life as a person being kidnapped. Damn, surrounded by hot guys and eating well and getting away from parents and responsibilities?

FUCKING KIDNAP ME PLEASE IM READY AND WAITING I HAVE A BURLAP SACK RN AND ILL PUT IT OVER MY OWN DAMN HEAD.

Or it happens this way: She saw something she wasn't supposed to see and he is like "sHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SAW NOTHING ILL KILL YOU IF YOU SAY YOU DID" and then she literally does something crazy and he's gotta kidnap her or keep sights on her.

Now, let me explain something. If someone freaking killed someone is next door to my house, and I know about it, and they tell me to shut the hell up or they'll kill me, bEST BELIEVE THAT MY LIPS ARE FUCKING SEALED. You'll never worry about me ever saying a goddang word.

Basically, this would be me:

Crazy Killer: *kills clementinetta collins*

me: *sees all this shit*

Crazy Killer: DONT FUCKING SAY NOTHING ILL KILL YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DOG AND FAMILY AND SISTERS.

me: Bitch you have said nothing but a word- Clementinetta who? Clementinetta what? Clementinetta why? Clementinetta how?

Then, there's always someone else chasing this girl as well. Apparently, her father was an undercover druggie or something like why is he having his daught-

FUCKING WAIT THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION. WHY IS SHE PAYING HIS DEBTS? HE BETTER DO THAT ON HIS OWN FUCK YOU THOUGHT.

IF MY DAD WAS IN DEBT.. Lol see ya on the other side dad it was nice knowing you bye.

Or these Dads literally sELL their kids to these mafia people. Because you don't want to pay debt? Dude.. just die and get it over with. You can sell your kid but you're not gonna make it to the end of the story anyways you traitor bitch.

But yeah, they're chasing his daughter because of debts and the mafia God literally tries to hide this girl away from the mafia debts her Dad owes. Like he is a nice mafia God and doesn't rat her out, but rats her Dad out. Super commendable if you ask me.

Parents are wonderful.

Finally, they fall in love and he gets shot. Super cliché. He always gets fucking shot. LIEK WHHYYYYY KILL MY OTP?

I mean ik he makes it out alive but don't scare me like that asshole.

And I do shed a few tears, but I get scared of ruining my bottom lashes because I don't believe in Waterproof mascara so I get some tissues and I keep that shit pUSHING.

AND THEN A NICE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND WONDERFULNESS AND STUFF.

But yeah, I seriously didn't have much negative to say about them. Like I said, SOME of them are really well written but some are not idk so I would tryy to recommend some but I don't want to get sued bitch hellsssssss no.

SO IF YOU EVER COME ACROSS SOME BADASS LOOKING GANG MEMBER WHO HAS SEEMINGLY KIDNAPPED A GIRL, DRAG THEM LIKE KAT VON D DID TO JEFFREE STAR. They're Cliché.

.. but then he dragged her right back so idk.

-

omg guys when i write these, they arent about any story in particular. i dont target stories when i write these like you gotta stop saying that or your girl is gonna get sUUEEEEDDDD and then im gonna have to get rid of this account and this email and i'll have to legally change my name. dont want that to happen.

update: i think the word is ransom idk im not sure

i probably posted verona after this
or i got nervous and posted it in the morning.