Forbidden Choices

Chapter 46

I promised myself i wouldnt go to him i promised myself i wouldnt turn weak i promised myself id go by the rules at HOgwarts. Hogwarts. That'd be my way to go past this past the Death Eaters, now that Dumbledore was dead theres no way that theyd be able ot make me do things while at hogwarts they just couldnt. And thats what i thought about whenever i was tempted. Even though ofcoruse there were only like 2 weeks until school left i have to admit, temptation came about often too often for my liking. I ignored it ofcourse and just though about Hogwarts though the very worst yes even worst that losing Blaise happened when i was packing for school and my mother came into my room. "Your father would like me to inform you that you and Draco will be HEad Boy and Girl this year" she said "IT will be your duty to keep in line those Blood Traitors that want to go agaisnt us the few that remain that is" she said a sickly smile plastered on her once beatiful face. "Yes mother" i bowed trying to keep my voice from cracking. She left. Nice to see that in this family apparently i get told my duties then they leave, no 'good luck' not even a single gesture of reassurance just lettign me know that they had their trust on my shoulders. They really didnt expect Draco to make it so it was all on me.

Dont get me wrong i did fight it. I paced around my room for a good 3 minutes, i screamed into my pillow for 5 and i took a long bath for 10 (nice trying on my behalf right?) but less than 20 minutes later i was standing outside the Weasley's Wizard Wheezes store. I again fought myself arguing with myself over and over again and i was about to leave when the door opened. "Well then taking me up on my offer after all?" the red head asked me "No! I-i just came to collect last week and this week's fee" i said "You said you wouldnt" he pointed out "w-well i-i I changed my mind!" i said sturdily. "Mhmm then how much is it?" he asked coolly "umm err 10 galleons" i said "oh how scary" he said in an ominous tone "here go buy yourself an ice crea little girl and come in" he said placing 10 galleons in my hand. '!0 galleons?!' i yelled at my head as he led me into the back of the store 'obviosuly itd be much mroe than 10 galleons!'. "Sit down" he said once wed gotten to a small lounge-like room which held 2 couches and a couple arm chairs it had a burning fire and had a small fridge. He grabbed a bottle of Fire Whiskey and poured into two glasses then handed me one which i swallowed in one gulp. He poured his glass into mine.

"So?" he asked and i chewed my lip "dont bull sh!+ me by saying that you 'came to collect' i know fro a fact that-" before he finished his sentence my mouth exploded as i started to tell him everything, every single little detail of waht had happened since practically 4th year up until just now. "I dont want to have to torture people" i finished taking a gulp of my 8th glass of Fire Whisky. "So whyd you even join in the first place?" he asked "they took everything from me Fred, you dont understand what thats like" i said "First, i grew up in an Orphanage, thinking i wasnt wanted, i wasnt needed. Second they took away my only family my cousin" i said "then last year they took my baby or should i say Fetus they took away my sanity with that and they took away my trust of people, any love that i had in me all gone" i said. "And then they took Blaise and with it the last aprt of me that was sitll alive" i said. "Dont you get it? Theyd do anything anything to get me to join! What if it wouldve been Mrs.Zabini next? or JO or Kat or Tawny or even Draco?" i asked tears spilling out of my eye sockets. "I just wanted it to stop" i said "and it did" i straightened up and tears stopped streaming down my eyes "now i have everything i have all the power! Noone would dare mess with me in this new world" i said. "I have everything, everything and-" "nothing" me and Fred said at the same time and he looked at me as if it was the first time that hed seen me as if i was new species some new beautiful species instead of this Monster that i truly was.