Not So Bad - A.M.

38. We Need To Talk

The end of the school year is fast approaching. At this point all anyone was worried about was what they were going to wear for graduation. Everybody had already made their decision on where they were going to attend college, or if they were going to attend college. I, however, have not.

The deadline to make a choice is just right around the corner, and i've still got no idea where i'm going. I've narrowed it down to two schools. The one right here in my town, fifteen minutes away, or the one four hours from here. There were a lot of factors I felt I needed to take into consideration before I made my decision, though.

One of them is sitting right in front of me.

"What're you thinking about?" Austin asked me, breaking the silence i'd created by going deep into thought.

Austin and I haven't discussed my plans after high school. We'd already talked about his a while ago. He's not going to college. I tried to turn him away from that choice, but his mind was already made up. Every time we tried to talk about my plans though we'd never finish. I think because we both know that there's a chance I might be moving away from here, and neither of us knows what that could mean for our relationship.

I sighed. We just need to get this over with. "Can we have a talk?" I asked.

"Is this the part where you break up with me, because if it is, then no." He joked.

"I'm not breaking up with you. It's not that kind of talk." I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Okay, then sure."

I got up from the table and made my way to the living room with Austin right behind me. He plopped down on the couch, but I remained standing.

"So, I think we should talk about my college plans." I said really quickly and nervously. For some odd reason I was dreading having this talk, scared almost.

His face fell a little but he pulled me down onto his lap regardless. "Yeah, I don't really think we can avoid it any longer."

"I've narrowed down my options to two, the one here and the one a few hours away. I really like them both, but I don't know which to choose." I said. He gave a small sigh, but asked me to continue. "The far one, it's really nice, and i'd get to have the experience of living on my own and exploring a new place, and what not, but the campus here is really nice too, and obviously it's a lot closer to home. Closer to my family. And you."

"Ava, i'm asking you right now to not make a decision based on me or your family. They'd tell you the same thing. You have to choose the school that'd make you happiest." He said softly.

"I know, I know, but I'm so attached to my family. I don't want to leave them. And, of course I don't want to leave you because what if I do and we don't work out?"

"Ava, I love you, and the last thing I want to do is lose you, but I would never try to influence a decision this big for you for my own selfish reasons. College is a big deal; the start of the rest of your life. I'd never stand in your way. If you want to leave here, go. Yeah, it'll hurt, and it'll be hard, but if it's what'll make you truly happy, then you have to do it. Whatever will make you happy will make me happy. I know for a fact your family feels the same way. They'll support you no matter what you decide." He poured out.

I sat quietly for a moment and took in what he said. I have to do what's best for me, not my relationships. So, do I stay or do I go? Well, i'll figure it out later. I'm not really sure what I want right now.

"Wow, that was really good advice." I laughed. "Didn't know you had it in you."

"I can be pretty deep sometimes." He chuckled.

"I guess so."

It got really quiet after that.

"Remember the first time we talked?" I asked randomly. I shifted my position so that I was sitting next to him instead of on his lap.

"Yeah." He laughed.

"I accidentally bumped into you in the hall and you yelled at me."

"I was being an asshole." He chuckled.

"You were so mean to me before we started dating." I giggled.

"I know. I'm really sorry about all that by the way. I should've never treated you like that, but you just scared me." He confessed.

"I scared you?" I asked, shocked. "You were the scary one, not me."

He laughed. "You never let me push you around. You always fought back; stood up for yourself. You weren't scared of me. You didn't try to throw yourself at me. You were different than any other girl i'd ever talked to. That's what made you scary to me."

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Because it made me know I wanted to be with you. And not be with you for a night, but be with you. For a long time."

At that, I was speechless. I couldn't come up with a single good thing to say so I just hugged him tight. He hugged me back and left a gentle kiss on the top of my head. We stayed like this until I was able to find my words.

"I didn't know you liked me that much."

"Now you know." He chuckled.

"You know, I used to think you were such an asshole. I mean, before we became friends I couldn't stand you." I said honestly and he mocked hurt. "Now, though, i'm glad I gave you that chance when you asked for it because you're an amazing guy. What if I never got to know this you? What if I ever only knew the bad you?"

"Then we wouldn't be together right now."

"Yeah. Well, i'm glad we are. Don't get all big headed or anything, but you're the best thing that's happened to me this year." I laughed, looking up at him. He didn't say anything, just pressed his lips to mine and pulled me close to him.

He didn't have to say anything. His actions said it all; that he felt the same way.

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A/N:

it's a little short but, hey, at least i updated lol.

i noticed the book hasn't been doing well with votes/comments lately & that's my fault because i am literally the worst & slowest updater in the world, but it'd mean so much if you guys can go back & vote on chapters for me & make sure to vote/comment on this one. also, check out my other book Falling For You if you get the chance.

you know the drill!

--m