Not So Bad - A.M.

39. Decisions, Decisions

Today is the day i'm deciding which college to pick. Graduation is coming faster than i'd like it to, and i'm running out of time. So today, no distractions, just focusing on my college decision.

So far, i've reviewed both of the college's websites, made a pro's and con's list for each school, and even replayed the conversation I had with Austin. And none of it's helped; i'm still torn.

With that, I pick up the phone and dial the number of the person I believe will truly give me good advice other than, "We'll support whatever choice you make".

It rings a few times, but finally Blake picks up. "Hey, Ava."

"Hi. I need some help."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just need some college advice." I said.

"Oh, sure." He replied.

"Okay, so you know that I've narrowed it down to two schools, right?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, I still can't pick one. I don't know what to do. I mean, it'd be fun to move out and live in the dorms but i'd also be perfectly happy staying here. And they're both really good schools with pretty campuses and all that, so it really just comes down to if I want to leave here or not." I explained.

"Well," he started, "if you move out, you get the experience of living on campus, being on your own, rooming with new friends, and so on. But, if you stay home, it's with your friends and family and you're in a comfortable setting."

"Those are good points, but i'm still torn."

"I know you'll figure it out."

"What about you? Do you enjoy the whole dorms thing or do you wish you'd gone to college here?" I asked.

"Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the dorms. I mean, it can be fun, and I met a lot of cool people, but I wish I would have gone to school closer to home. I miss my friends and family and it can make me kind of miserable sometimes, but you're different. You might love living on campus. Don't base your decision off of my experience." He said.

I sighed. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"It's a big decision, Ava. I don't think it's supposed to be easy."

"I know. I just want to get it over with."

"Well, let me know which college you choose. I'll be happy for you either way, and I know everyone else will too." He comforted.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime."

We said our goodbye's after that, and then I was back at it. I kept reviewing my lists and kept checking the websites but it just wasn't helping. I keep feeling like i'm going to make the wrong decision.

I decided to take a break, and go downstairs to eat. I've been keeping myself so busy that I forgot to even feed myself.

My mom walks into the kitchen a few minutes after I do to grab something. "So, how's it going?"

"It's not." I said.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"I just can't choose."

"I know you'll come to a decision soon." She said.

"It's so hard though."

"You can do it." She laid a hand on my shoulder and gave me a wink before walking away. With that, I finished my food and went back up to my room to continue the process.

I was taking everything into consideration while trying to make a choice. My family, my friends, Austin, the location, whether I want to live at home or away; everything. But, nothing was making this easier for me. I was just too torn, and honestly I need a break. I know I said no distractions, but I really wanted to talk to Austin. So, I called him.

"Hello?" He answered.

"It's decision day and i'm torn." I spilled.

"What?"

"College."

"Right. How's it going?" He asked.

"It's stressing me out. I need a break."

"Don't be stressed, you'll make the right choice."

"What if I don't. What if I choose one and then totally regret it later?"

"Then you can always transfer next year. Look, just stop freaking out. This will all be fine, I promise. And stop thinking about everyone else, do what you want. You say you're choosing for you, but I know you're not. We'll all be fine with whatever you decide." He said.

"I know, I know." I sighed. "You're right. I just need to focus on me and go from there."

"Exactly. I know it's a big decision, but you can do this." He encouraged.

"Okay, well I better go. I told myself no distractions, but I keep letting myself get distracted."

"Okay. Let me know what you chose."

"I will."

We hang up and i'm back at my computer. I do one last check on both of the colleges websites and then I think I finally have made up my mind. I take a minute to review my choice before making it final and officially accepting admittance to the school of my choice.

"Okay, i've got it." I say to myself. I go onto the school's website and accept my admittance. I immediately feel a weight lift off my shoulders. The pressure is off. One less thing to worry about.

I really think i've made the right decision. I think this could be good for me, and knowing I have the full support of my family and friends makes it even more exciting.

I call Blake, as promised, and tell him my decision. He tells me he's proud of me and that he really thinks I made the right choice. I then rush downstairs and gather my family up to tell them. I get a bunch of "that's great's" & "i'm proud of you's" from them. Next of course I call my best friends to tell them my big news.

I leave Austin for last because I really want to tell him in person instead of over the phone. I'm not quite sure how he'll react to my news. I know he'll at least be happy for me though.

I text Austin that i've made up my mind and that I want to talk about it in person with him. He tells me to come over so I make my way to his house.

He answers the door and lets me in, and we sit down on his couch to talk.

"So, which one is it?" He asks, and I tell him.

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A/N:

it's been a while since I updated & this chapter is kind of whatever but here you go. only one chapter left!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go back and vote for chapters you missed & please comment. the book's not doing so well lately & it kinda sucks since it'll be ending very soon.

anyways, you all know the drill. Vote/comment/fan if you enjoyed!

--m