how to love // z. m.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Seven

"Marry me."

It honestly felt like the world froze around me. My breath caught in my throat, the hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up, and I had to focus hard on strengthening my legs so that they wouldn't collapse.

The first things that were going through my mind...

I'm fresh out of high school. I'd feel like I'm Bella, only I'm not selling my soul to vampirism.

I'm only seventeen years old. Seventeen.

And then... there's Zayn.

I don't even know why I'm adding him to this list. Maybe because, though he may not be my boyfriend or possible fiance, he's just... special. He has a special place in my heart and my mind that no one, not even David, could ever compare to.

Yet, at the same time, Zayn doesn't compare to David, either.

There's the obvious ones.

David is American and Zayn is British.

David is kind of pale. Zayn, however, has tan skin that could get him to pass as a Kardashian.

Then, there's personality. Things more complicated, down to the core.

David can be jealous, whereas Zayn is as sweet as cotton candy. Well, that's a huge exaggeration, but he's not the jealous type. Let's just go with that.

David is hard as a rock --- he sticks to his decisions --- but Zayn hard on the outside with a soft inside, like those suckers that have gum or chocolate centers. He can be convinced, for example, to go along with all of my crazy schemes that I come up with.

David only has eyes for me, and Zayn has millions of girls to choose from --- literally.

David is concrete, and Zayn is traveling all the time.

David is clean-cut, and Zayn is hot-headed.

David is gentle, and Zayn is stubborn.

David is humble, and Zayn is arrogant.

David has his adorable quirks...

...But Zayn is perfect...

"I..." I whispered. "I don't think I can." Before David could say anything, I quickly added, "I don't think I'm ready. For marriage." I shook my head slightly and bit my lip. "I'm only seventeen, you know..."

"I know, and I've thought of that." He used his thumbs to push a few stray strands of hair from my face. "Engagements tend to last at least a year. And it's completely normal to have it be more than only one. So you'll be at least nineteen by the time the actual wedding took place. You'll be ready."

"But I'm still just a teenager," I said quietly, "and getting married?"

David licked his lips. "It's crazy, I know." He just barely nodded. "But... you're always wanting to do all these crazy stunts, and... just think of this like one of those."

"But I don't want my wedding to be a 'crazy stunt',' I said. "I want it to be special. Something that really means a lot to me with someone I love. And I know that I love you but I think I'm really too young."

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. "I understand. Just know that I'm ready. I am ready, Toni. I'm just waiting for you to be, too."

He pressed his own soft lips against mine for a moment before stepping back. He gave me a small smile and started to back away, turning around, his hands now in his front dark-wash jean pockets.

I chewed my bottom lip and looked around me to all of the Los Angeles city lights shining. I didn't even realize that I had started crying with frustration.

If not doing this was really right... would I really be this torn up about it?

I closed my eyes for a few seconds before sighing heavily and turning back to David.

"Yes."

He stopped walking away, looking back at me with a confused expression on his face. "What?"

"Yes." I smiled, and his mind started to process what I meant by that, because a grin crept onto his face and he started walking over to me. I began walking toward him too, and we met halfway, colliding our lips together.

"Thank God," he said, laughing a little bit as he pulled away. He brought me into a hug and I hugged him back gladly. I smiled, looking over his shoulder at where Zayn had been standing just, maybe, five or so minutes before.

But he was gone.