Taking Command Book 1 (Kylux) (#Wattys2016)

Chapter Fifty: Intensity

Kylo PoV

I woke to the pleasant sight of Hux laying next to me. His body was wrapped around mine and his arms were around me. I burrowed farther into my blankets and snuggled closer in to Hux. He stirred and opened his eyes and looked at me blearily.

"We should probably get up." He said this with no small amount of regret as he pecked me on the cheek with a kiss.

As we had embraced last night, Hux had liberated himself from clothing and was stripped down to undergarments. I took in his slender and muscular form. He was the epitome of elegance and grace. His body was lithe and powerful.

"Your body is all of my personal fantasies wrapped into a charismatic general with amazing hair," I said, grinning at him as he donned clothing.

"Tsk tsk, how unprofessional of you." Hux winked at me. "You're not too bad to look at. You're a fairly nice specimen as well."

"What are we doing," I murmured softly to him as I put some clothing on as well. I was slightly self conscious of my less muscular build and lack of visible muscle.

"What do you mean?" He turned to me, putting on his hat and looking at me, noting my serious tone.

"What even is this relationship? Unbridled lust? Boredom with responsibility? A desire to not sleep alone? Do we actually... matter to each other?" I had thought about it a little bit. I wanted real love and affection, not just fleeting lust or a desire to change up a boring life.

"Why do you care?" Hux asked. "We are happy, aren't we?"

I realized he did not understand. And why would he? He had never had to betray his family. From what I knew,  his father was a former Imperial officer. Coming from stock such as that, he would have never had to fear that. He probably had always been secure in his position as a successor to the Empire.

Me, on the other hand, I had given up everything to join the First Order. My family, my relationships, even my reputation. I had changed so much and gone through so many things since I joined Snoke that I did not feel as if I was even the same person. I had taken a lot of my emotions, such as love, happiness, and empathy and discarded them. Now, my feelings for Hux were catalyst for their return. This could change even more things for me. I just wanted to know if I was changing for the right person, someone who cared for me like I cared for them.

"Yes, we are happy. But this... this relationship is changing things for me emotionally, having an effect on my command of the Force. A lot could change for me, even my ability to do what I do. I want to know that I'm changing over the right person. That you really care about me." I knew it sounded cliche and perhaps even trite, but I felt that it needed to be said.

Hux looked at me. He did not seem upset, quite the contrary. "I'm glad that you care so much about our relationship being good. I wanted to ask, but I did not know how. I did not want to throw myself away over someone who wanted pleasure. I want to share everything, be in touch with whoever I choose as my lover. You've already proven we fight for the same things. Now, I can see, I matter as much to you as you do to me."

I was so relieved. He cared as well. I was happy we seemed to understand each other. I checked the time. It was well into mid morning, and we both had our duties.

"Well, we should be going. Do you want to sleep together every night though?" I asked Hux as we walked out of my room.

"Whatever you want, Kylo. Although, if we do it again, can we do it in my room?" Hux smiled at me.

"I would love to." I looked at him, I felt happier than I had felt in years. I felt like finally I had found someone to be my match. One thing I had loved about the parents I once had was their devotion. I wanted that for whoever I chose to love as my partner. Hux was perfect.

"Good. Well, I'll see you tonight. Duty calls. I love you, Kylo Ren." Hux casually saluted to me, then strode off, the epitome of professional excellence.

I watched him walk off wishing that I could watch him forever and knowing I was acting like a love struck little girl.
I wanted to live in those moments. The moments where we were together and in love. I wanted to be constantly in the middle of the intensity of our affection.