Chapter Thirty Three: Fear

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Hux PoV

For all my brave words, I was scared. As I lay in bed, my body pressed against Kylo's, I felt fear, that icy presence that could turn anyone into a coward, creep into my heart. I did not want to face the wrath of the Supreme Leader. In fact, that was the last thing I wanted to do. What I wanted to do was be safe and out of danger of sudden death.

I rolled over, placing my back to Kylo. I needed to sleep. Tomorrow, I had I go and oversee a routine training drill. Phasma was expecting me to give an assessment of their skill. I needed to be awake. No amount of fear or anger could change the fact that I had duties.

If anything, I needed to prove that my attraction to Kylo was not a deterrent from the execution of my missions.

I fell asleep thinking of this, and it seemed too soon when Kylo woke me up.

"It's too early," I murmured, then rolled over, seeking to burrow deeper into the sheets.

"We need to wake up. Duty calls." Kylo smirked at me.

We got dressed in silence. Neither of us seemed to know what to say. Finally, Kylo seemed to take the initiative.

"Don't worry," he said consolingly, a word I never thought I would describe Kylo's voice with. "We can make it through this." He hugged me close and I surrendered to his strong embrace and kissed him on cheek and ran my fingers through his dark hair.

"I have faith in us. And I am not commonly a man of faith, but you hve changed that." I patted his cheek then walked out the door. "Phasma is expecting me."

I walked down the hall and through the base. I was pleased to see that there had been some renovations. There was functioning light through more of the base and the heating seemed to be better as well.

"Captain." I greeted Phasma at the door of the training area. Phasma stood at attention, and as usual, looked the image of efficient.

"General. The troopers have been assembled. Put them through any simulation or test, and I am sure that they will pass." Her tone was confident and cool.

"Thank you, Captain." I walked past her into the room full of troopers. "Helmets off," I said,"I want to see your faces."

Each and every soldier removed their helmets and gazed at me, their stares unrelenting and disciplined. But looks were not everything. These men were going to prove themselves to me.

"I see in every one of you a loyal soldier for the First Order. I see men who can be the power that brings the galaxy back to its rightful state. That is, however, if you can prove yourself, to me. Your commanding officer. Are you willing to do that?" I looked at all of them.

"Yes sir!" They all saluted.

"Then buckets on. Let's do this."

Two hours later and several injuries later as well, I had eliminated over ninety percent of the men. I had made them do various tests of skill and endurance and put them through battle simulations. No one had died, but as it had gone, I had picked out those who were flagging or slowing down drastically. They were eliminated.

Unsurprisingly, FN-2187 and FN-2199 were still alive. They had been keeping each other's backs for the whole exercise. I was impressed. They, with ten others were left.

"We're all done!" I yelled. "Excellent work. You twelve left, report to Captain Phasma. I think you have something special to offer the First Order."

I walked away, leaving Phasma to deal with what I hoped would be a special operations force of troopers.

No, I would not let fear overtake me. I would show that affection had not changed me. I was still efficient, brutal, and powerful. Nothing would change that.

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