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42.The letter.

Dear Adam..

I never thought I'd write a letter to farewell anyone. It's old, we are in the 21st century for God's sake. But to be totally honest, I'm being me, selfish. I want you to remember me , I want this letter to remind you that you crossed ways with a girl called Nada Mansour.
Adam, I don't know what to say. Never thought I'd end having leukemia. I know I know it's fate. I totally accept it the only thing that hurts not the pain no no, it's just not having you. I'm being unrealistic now you'd be the one without me but that's the matter I know it pains you so I feel the pain too.

Adam, I want to apology. I'm sorry for every minute you spent dealing with a spoiled brat like me. I know I gave you hard time. I know I'm stupid for not knowing your value from the moment I laid eyes on you. I want to tell you a quick secret! When we first met I found you hot but decided to hate you because I wasn't in love with you! I didn't even give you the chance to gain my heart but you did, you gained it without your knowing.

Every moment I spend with you is like heaven on earth. I spent the most happy moments with you. I want to spend so much more but it's not in our fate to do so but I'm content.

Another secret! I can't sleep when you aren't beside me holding me and I can't be in peace without your Goodnight and Goodmorning kisses. I can't enjoy my time without you. I know we didn't spend our whole life together but it was for me worth thousands of years. I can't believe I got the pleasure to carry your name and be your wife. I wish I could carry your child , our child, but I know you'll have beautiful kids with your new wife. As selfish as I am, I don't want you to marry someone else but I know you have to have your family, I want to be more selfish and tell you to name your daughter after me but that would be cruel to your wife but you can name her Arwa, after all that is the name I wanted to name our daughter.

I always dreamt of love and I wanted to be with you till our old age, till our wrinkles fill our faces, till we become 70 or 80. I wanted to die before you because I know I never am strong to live a life without you. I make dua' and here Allah accepts it.

Thank you Adam for being there for me when I wanted you the most.

Thanks for being the best husband.

Thanks for bearing all the things I did.

Thanks for making every moment I lived with you.

Thanks for opening your heart for me.

Thanks for trusting me.

Thanks for helping me.

Thanks a lot , Adam.

I'm not sad for dying of leukemia, I'm sad for not living with you the live we dreamt about. But I know we will meet again. I know I'm not the person to deserve Jannah but I know you will take me with you, you'll hold my hand and enter it with me, Right? Make dua' for me to enter it with you, to live our forever there , to continue our dream there. It's the best place to live in with each other. Make a lot of dua's for me to go with you. Don't leave me alone for long.

I don't say it a lot but I feel it deeply. I always liked these lines of Shakespeare and it's the first and last time to tell someone about it cause I know I feel it and I want to say it to only you, Adam.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire.

Doubt that the sun doth move.

Doubt truth be a liar.

But never doubt I love."

I love you Adam

Till we meet

Nada.

~~~~~~

Dear beautiful readers don't hate me, I love you lots.

I wish you liked 'The Letter' and please don't run away before reading the 'Epilogue' I already wrote it but give me sometime to publish it.

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