Wait OR Date

19.Aftermath.

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Daddy patted my head while I continued to cry on his chest ,him holding me from falling.

"Am I that bad, daddy?" I asked him between sobs, he was silent for a moment still patting my head then after a deep sigh he answered.

"You are not bad,Nada, but people breakup everyday its not the end of your life. You'll move on in your life and you have to learn from your mistakes. I know you are strong after all you're my daughter" daddy smiled and I smiled back at him not having any energy to talk.

Daddy passed me tissues and I felt suddenly the tiresome of the day crept to me so I went to my room and fall on my bed face first. Like that I slept without even changing my clothes.

When I woke up I was suffering from my veil wrapped around my neck and my messy clothes so I went to have a long warming shower to ease my messed up day, it was already night and I hadn't eaten since lunch time.

I walked like a dead man to the kitchen and found my plate ready to be eaten thanks to mommy.

I was eating peacefully and replaying everything happened those last months.
How could one person enter your life as a total strange and when you opened up to him he disappeared like he never was there in the first place. But Adam wasn't just a person , he knew how to change people without even knowing. How could he after all these months decided suddenly he wanted to leave me in the middle of the way. Did he just think about that stupid deal we made at our first talk. Was it a game he tried to win. Was I that stupid to let him be my first love. But again love isn't something to control. I didn't think that I'd love someone I just met months ago. I didn't think I'd love someone who didn't love me. I didn't think at all. How could I be that reckless to let my heart feel that pain.

With all these thoughts and pain I slept in my place , tears visible on my cheeks.

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I was living a routinely life for the first time in my life. I was always the one to break the boring routine and laugh , sarcasm was in my blood but what could do this to a person!? The answer would be four letters only four letters 'love'.
The answer was that I loved the wrong one.

It had been a month since that breakup. I could feel the change in my life, my attitude, my work. I became closer to Allah, He was the only one that reduced my pain.
I didn't hear anything about Adam also I didn't cut the connection with his sisters they were good friends and they had nothing to do with my relation with their brother. I was sure that one day I'd find the right one that would heal my pain and love me right. Also I felt my parents' worry, as I said I wasn't the quietest person on earth but I chose to ignore it.

"Hey,boringhead, I was calling" Nader was waving in my face to get my attention. We were in the mall buying his baby clothes and I spaced out again. Yes, you read it right his baby, Mai was pregnant and they were having a boy in four months and they were excited to no end.

"That would be cute" I showed him a cute tiny blue T-shirt with Cars on it. He looked at me with sad eyes but I ignored it. I hated that look I hated being pitied.

"Okay, let's go now. These are enough" he took it from my hand and pointed to all the things we got.

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"Why are we here?" I asked Nader in monotone. It was my favourite place but I didn't feel like I wanted to eat here anything.

"Nada, please don't be like this. It's your favourite place" he tried

"Sorry, Adam I--"

"Nada, I'm Nader." I looked at him after knowing what I had just did. He rubbed his face. " stop thinking about him this isn't the end--" it was my time to cut him

"Of the world, I'm stronger than this and I know too much all these things but it's hard to do it okay?I Just want to go home..please Nader" I said tears falling again from my eyes.

I was surprised when Nader hugged me and we sat like that for I didn't know how long just me and my brother.

It was really hard to know that the person you wanted didn't want you- or that what I thought anyway-

I was pathetic to cry over him all that time. All my family and friends were worried and tried to comfort me but I shut them down. They were right that wasn't the end of my life, I would never let someone breaks me like a glass anymore. Yes, I was hurt but to live like a dead man wasn't the cure.

I would cut Adam's chapter from my life even if it wasn't easy I'd try hard. I'd start from tomorrow. I'd remove anything reminding me of him. His ring wouldn't be on my nightstand anymore, I'd send it to him. No, I'd give it to him myself. Enough being coward , I'd face my problem. I'd meet him and I'd move on and I'd be better.

These were my decisions. These were my motivation. And with that I would be happy again.

If I didn't decide to see Adam again. If I stayed coward. I would never be able to have him again. I would never be able to know the truth. I would never be brave or strong.

That was what my fate decided to me!!