You get too close (Dean)

Chapter 68

A/N:Prepare to (Hopefully) get emotional.

// Sadie //

"So...Wanna go first?" Dean asks as he puts the blanket over both of us. I cuddle up to his chest and sigh a little as he mutes the TV. "Sure." I shrug. "Where do I start..." I mumble.

"What about...Your dad." He suggests.

"Well...He was my best friend for a while. I was always pretty close to him. He took care of me and he treated me like a princess. He always made sure that I was happy and that I was safe and good and taken care of. If I got sick he'd stay at home with me all day, No matter what he had planned. He always blew off hanging out with his friends and working just to make sure I was alright. He always comforted me in the best ways. I had so much fun with him...My mom and sister were not his biggest fans though. I think mom just married him cause he had a lot of money. And he always paid me more attention than he did Aymie so she wasn't very close to him." I sigh. "He died when I was twelve. It kinda sucks because I still don't know how he died. I mean I do...He just died in his sleep. But...I wonder what caused him to die so young." I shake my head.

"When he died I was a mess. I didn't wanna come out of my room, I didn't wanna go to school, I didn't wanna eat or bathe or do anything other than sleep and cry. I was hurting so much. I missed him so much. And I still do. I still cry sometimes, And I always will. He was just the greatest dad ever, To me." I mutter. "We buried him in Waterford Ireland. He had Irish family and he always liked the thought of being in Ireland. I can't tell you how many times he brought up moving there." I giggle. "I feel a little guilty..." I sigh.

"Why?" Dean asks softly.

"I've...Never visited him. When he was buried and when his funeral was held, I didn't get to go. Me, My mom and Aymie didn't go. I've never once seen his grave, I've never gone to talk to him. Funerals terrify me and I refuse to go to them and I've had the chance to visit him because we've gone on the European tour twice now...But I'm afraid to go. It's gonna hurt me so much. That's so selfish, I know." I sigh.

"I understand. It's gonna be hard...But you know, You have to visit him at least once." He says. "We could go together one day. Just, Tell me when and I'll pack my shit and we'll go visit him." He says, Making me giggle a little. "Thank you." I whisper.

"You're welcome...So, What about your mom?" He asks.

"Oh yeah." I roll my eyes. "I've already told you a bit about our cracked relationship...She never payed me much attention. Never seemed to like me quite honestly. We've never been close. And I despise her for not caring about me as much as she should've." I huff. "This kind of reminds me...She hasn't met you even once and now we're engaged...She'll be pissed. But who cares." I shrug.

"Now onto my ex..." I sigh. "I met him around three years ago. He was so sweet and...Well he had an advantage from the start, I guess. I was insecure, The victim of bullying and I was suicidal. I never thought any guy would ever like me or love me. And I was attention deprived. So when he began to talk to me I clung to him. Now looking back on it, I was so stupid." I mumble. Dean rubs my shoulder in a comforting way and I smile slightly, Patting his hand.

"I should've known to stay away form him from the start. He clearly didn't want me for my heart. He wanted me because he found me attractive. He always made sexual comments about me that truthfully made me uncomfortable. But at least he was paying me some attention. So I ignored it and told myself it was because he liked me so much. He'd always comment on my clothes or my hair...He always told me to start wearing things that he liked more...He pressured me into wearing more makeup and showing more cleavage...He was controlling from the start. Then we started dating around four months after I met him. Things moved fast. We had sex all the time, Because that's all he really wanted. He wanted me to move in with him too. I was only around twenty one back then."