A Levelheaded Lass

Special Chapter - Zoe

Every time I hear my parents fight, all I want to do is to escape from their exchange of words; turn on loud music, go out with friends.

It's been years since Mom found out about the other woman. Galit din ako kay Dad noon pero may magagawa pa ba ang galit ko, nangyari na. Hindi ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na makita o makilala ang kerida niya dahil hindi pa ako ready magkasala—manakit o makapatay.

Ever since I was little, madalas na sila mag-away. Lalo na 'pag inuumaga si Dad. Papasok ako sa school, kakauwi niya lang. 'Pag tinatanong ko siya kung bakit 'di siya umuwi, sasabihin lang niyang nagtrabaho siya at makikita ko naman ang pag-irap ni Mommy.

I sometimes wonder kung bakit nagtiya-tiyaga pa rin sila sa isa't isa eh hindi naman sila masaya. Based on my research, some married couples only stay together because of their kids. And that's bullshit. They show how miserable they are in the arms of each other tapos lalaki ang bata sa puro sigawan, murahan at basagan ng gamit.

Pero dahil tough girl ako, nakahanap ako ng sarili kong paraan para 'di ko marinig ang paulit-ulit nilang pag-aaway.

Na-in love ako noon sa anak ng kapitbahay namin, si Phillip.

Once upon a morning, I woke up with bad words coming from my parents, shouting at each other. I really have no idea why are they shouting like that early in the morning. As a kid, I suppose that I don't have to know. So I grab my doll with me and sneaked out of the house. I walked towards the house of my friend, Gia but before I can even get close to their gate, I saw Phillip...her twin brother. At first, he raised his eyebrows but after a moment, he smiled at me.

Damn it. How can I forget about that beautiful smile of his? It was the most beautiful morning for me—a beautiful escape.

Since then, lagi ko na hinahanap si Phillip kay Gia pero I never got the chance na makipaglaro sa kaniya dahil lagi na lang niya kalaro ang mga kinakapatid nila. Okay lang basta nasisilayan ko siya sa tuwing pumupunta ako sa bahay nila.

Pero kinailangan naming lumipat ng bahay para mapalapit sa nilipatan ng kompanya nila Mom at dahil na rin sa pagpasok ni Ate sa college, 'di ko rin naman siya nararamdaman sa bahay so why bother na maglipat para makapag-adjust sa kapatid ko. I got no choice kundi ang iwan si Phillip...pero siyempre dahil kaibigan ko si Gia, wala pa rin siyang ligtas sa pagmamahal ko!

Lagi pa rin niya akong ina-update at so far masaya ako sa buhay ni Phillip dahil wala naman daw pinopormahan ito hanggang sa makatapos kami ng high school.

It was my 18th birthday when I confessed to him.

He was my escort and my last dance. It was a perfect night for me. He's wearing the same beautiful smile while we were slow dancing.

Mas humigpit ang pagkakakahawak ko sa balikat niya. "You all right?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip, but not too much so I won't smudge my lipstick. Shit, he asked me if I'm all right. Shit, he cares for me. Shit lang talaga.

"Y-yeah..." nanginginig kong sagot.

"Parang 'di naman."

"Okay lang ako...kasi kasama kita." Bahagya siyang natawa. Ouch. Tinawanan ang feelings ko, ganon? "It's rude to laugh at someone especially kung debut niya."

Tinapik niya ng marahan ang pisngi ko habang natatawa pa rin. Kung hindi lang ako nagpapaka-demure ngayon, malamang nagsisisigaw at nakapagbasag na ako ng kung ano dahil sa kilig.

"Ang corny kasi ng linya mo. Easyhan mo lang."

Natawa ako at nadulas dahil nasabi kong, "'di madaling manligaw ng lalaki, aba."