My Stepdad's Son

It's Not Just Me

Ashley's P.O.V

I yawned again. Fine body! If going to sleep is what you want to do, then go to sleep we will. I sighed at my human self and got up from the couch.

Pulling down my shirt to adjust it, I decided to go look for Roger and Amy to say goodnight. They had been hosting me without a cost for such a long time, the least I could do was be a good guest.

They were currently tucked away in their room. I didn't know what they were doing but I just hoped I wasn't going to interrupt anything.

"I just don't know how to approach it. Knowing him he'll just deny it all." I could hear Amy's voice from behind the door. "He's not going to accept that there's something wrong."

"Have you tried to talk about it?" Dad said as I pressed my ear to the door trying to make as little noise as possible.

"Yes, but he didn't budge. When I called him on the phone, I knew something was up. His voice isn't the same. It's... missing something."

Dad made a sighing sound. "What do you think it might be? He has been doing so great lately."

"I don't know what to do Roger. Ever since Andy's dad died he's been different. I know he's all grown up but I just can't help but compare him to the happy little boy he was before Chris passed." She took a deep breath. "Something changed in him and for a couple of years he had been back to normal but now... that gloomy side of him is back and I don't know why."

The gloomy side is back? So it's not just me... Andy is changing and nobody knows why.

"I wonder if he'll let me talk to him." Roger murmured. "But I just don't want him to think that I'm trying to replace his dad."

"Oh I think Andy's smart enough to understand that you're just trying to help." Amy said in a worrisome voice. "I just hope he doesn't push your help away."

"Push it away?"

Amy sighed heavily. "He tends to push help away because he wants to prove that he can do things his own way. But sometimes he can't."

"Tomorrow I'll try to call him. I'll see how he's doing." Dad said finally.

I knocked on the door deciding it was time I stopped being a nosy ass jerk and waited for their answer.

"Come in." Dad said.

My hand twisted the door knob as I swung it open. Dad and Amy were sitting both on the bed; he had his arms around her. An immense sense of happiness filled my heart as I saw both of their calm expressions.

I've just met Amy, and I don't know what she was like before she met dad, but she looked so happy right now. Her smile was one of calm, of peace. Dad mirrored it perfectly.

Before moving to Ohio he had been so sad. I never thought I would see him like this again.

"Ash, what are you staring at?" Dad asked with a wave of his hand.

I smiled with a slight chuckle. "Nothing. I just wanted to say goodnight to both of you." I approached them and gave each a hug.

"You're not going to go out tonight?" Amy asked.

"No. I want to sleep tonight. I'm tired."

"I'm glad. You haven't been sleeping home for the past couple of days. Did you meet someone new?" She asked curiously.

I displayed my best fake smile and nodded. "I have a girlfriend now. Her name is Charlotte."

Both Amy's and Dad's faces lit up as the words left my mouth. Guilt crept over me like a warm blanket as I battled with myself in my head trying to decided whether it had been a good decision to tell them or not.

I didn't quite have an answer for myself though. Part of me, the one that talked to me, said that it had been wrong of me to lie to them too. Lying to myslef and Andy was already more than enough.

But another part of me told me that I was on my way. One step closer to forgetting Andy and leaving all of this homosexuality confusion behind.

"When are you bringing her over?" Dad asked with a smile.

"Maybe later on. We just started dating and I think we want to get to know each other better first."

"That's a smart choice. I mean what if things don't work out so well?" Amy said understandingly.

I nodded in responce hoping that things would work out so that all of this lying wasn't being done in vain.

"Well, I hope it does work because you're 31 Ash. Have you started thinking about marriage?"

Way to fucking go, Dad.

My stomach sank a couple of inches as I thought about the possibility of getting married with Charlotte. Nope. I don't think I would let myself get that caught up in my lies.

I want to forget Andy but as soon as that's taken care of I'm leaving her. I'm not going to compromise my happiness for this mess.

But isn't that what you've been doing this whole time? Forcing yourself to be with her and compromising your happiness to try and fix something that doesn't need to be fixed?

My throat suddenly went a little dry as I stared blankly at my dad. What have I been doing?

"Marriage?" I asked breathlessly.

He nodded. "Yeah. I was already married by your age."

"Yeah but-"

Amy must've sensed that I was uneasy because she interrupted me by giving dad a small flick on the arm. "Roger, don't pressure him." She whispered.

"No I uh... I haven't thought about it much but it's okay. Hopefully I have time to get married later in uh... life." I said finally and turned to leave. "Goodnight."

They muttered their goodnights as I left the room closing the door behind me. The thought of marriage didn't want to leave my head.

Was I taking this too far? Maybe I didn't need a girlfriend to forget Andy. But at the same time I knew I did.

And then there was the thought of Andy going back to his gloomy state. Was he depressed? I don't want him to hurt. I don't want that.

Then talk to him. Do something about it. Go out there and find him. Let him know that you care.

A/N:
Hello there! (The angel from my nightmare.) Sorry I hadn't updated in a while but it's just the second week of school and I already have projects and quizzes and due dates and all that annoying school stuff. :( Oh well, I gotta do what I gotta do.

Please comment if you think I can do better or if you think I'm already doing good. :)

I love and value you gumdrop goblin.

-Michelle