"Are you busy today?" I asked my best friend Ivey over the phone as I sat on the edge of my bed.
"Kinda, why were you wanting to do something?" She replied causing me to sigh running my fingers through my hair.
"Nope its fine." I answered before hanging up angrily throwing my phone on to the bed. Nobody is free. Everyone is out with their husbands or their family, or at work accept me. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't like being by myself every day and Mike is at practice or out with his friends. It bugs me that we don't have a relationship like every other married couple. They spend time together, they have fun and they enjoy life as a couple. They go out to eat and go grocery shopping together. I want that with Mike again. I miss him so damn much it feels like we're not even married.
I got my keys and purse and headed out of the house to get something to eat. I decided if no one could eat with me I'd eat by myself. Although it'd definitely not something new to me, I've had to do it very many times. Which sucks. Because I feel like I have absolutely no friends anymore, no support system at all. I wish it wasn't this way but it is and I can't do anything to change it.
When I got home from eating and shopping it was around seven thirty and Mike was already home. I sighed as I walked up the stairs of the front porch struggling to carry everything I'd bought dropping the bags as I walked through the front door. "Care babe I would've helped you." Mike said with a small laugh before I began taking them up the stairs.
"So its my fault you couldn't look out of the damn window." I replied sitting a few bags on the bed.
"Whats wrong with you?" Mike asked looking confused.
"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine." I answered before walking past him downstairs into the kitchen.
"Care, whats wrong? Is it me?" Mike questioned following me. I was beyond mad at this point, I'd been trying to call him all day to see where he was or what time he was coming home. He gets an hour break in between practices so I know that he must have seen my calls.
"I really don't care to talk about it at all with you right now." I replied getting a bottle of Smart Water out of the fridge.
"Well I don't want you to be pissed at me for the rest of the night for no reason." Mike said causing me to sigh shaking my head.
"No reason Mike? Your kidding me." I said finally turning to face him.
"Well tell me a reason Carrie!" Mike exclaimed frustrated now.
"Your never here!" I yelled loosing my temper. "We are never together anymore we never spend time together Mike!" I continued yelling unable to control myself. "Married couples always do everything together although you and I are the complete opposite! We never do anything together!" I screamed tears now rolling down my face me sighing in anger.
"Care. I... I didn't know you felt this way." Mike said in shock at my sudden outburst. "I'm so sorry." He added taking a step closer to me.
"I'm sorry for screaming but I can't help it. I miss you and it upsets me so much because I can't help but feel that you aren't here because you don't want to spend any time with me." I said wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Honey that's not true." Mike sighed wrapping his arms around me.
"Then why does it always feel that way? I've called you probably ten times today. I understand if you are busy but at least call me back." I said looking up into his eyes. "Mike I hate being lonely all the time. I hate that your never here and you never care to spend time with me any more." I added gently biting my lip trying my hardest not to cry anymore than I already had.
"Carrie my phone didn't charge last night it was dead. I should've told you I know but you were already mad when I left." Mike explained. "And baby I always want to spend time with you... I'm sorry." He apologized for a second time hugging me tightly. "I took off tomorrow." He smiled down at me. "Just please know honey I want to spend every second of every day with you. No doubt in my mind. And my job isn't anywhere as important to me than you are." Mike added before softly kissing my cheek. "I love you Care."
"I love you too."
