Blue Howard (boyxboy)

Stitching

A/N: I just like the song, no relation to the chapter. It's just a great song x)

Also, read my other story "Chemical". It's not boyxboy, but maybe you'll like it.

Happy reading x)

Chapter 35 – Stitching

"Jocelyn wants to speak to you," Evan says quietly in the hallway. Both of them sneaked out of their classrooms to meet up. Evan shows Lorcan the piece of paper Jocelyn had sent him during class. He had immediately texted Lorcan.

"Really?" Lorcan asks. His jaw is tense and he's rubbing his knuckles. He doesn't know what to do or how to act. Should he say yes? Should he still wait? But maybe then she doesn't want to see him again, ever. He's not going to risk that. "Well, okay, I guess."

Evan smiles and pulls Lorcan into a hug. "You'll do great," he mumbles into Lorcan's ear. "Don't forget to be honest, though. You guys need to work it out, at least tell each other everything that's on your mind. Okay? No one is a mind reader, so you have to speak up about it." Evan stares at him and then nods. "See you later, yes?"

Lorcan licks his lower lip and gives a nod in agreement.

I don't know what to do.

I have made a complete fool of myself and I understand how wrong of me it was to call or text Anton. His name makes me uneasy. How am I supposed to face him now? Abby tried to calm me down, but I don't think anyone can recover from something like that in just a moment or because of a kindly spoken word.

Thing is, I really messed up and now I am sitting in this mess, not even planning to move. I feel like I need to feel bad as a punishment. I screwed everything up. We could have been perfect together, Anton and me, but instead I ended things, hoping it would be better. I have so much bottled up that I'm afraid I'll explode like a bottle of champagne, not in a celebratory way.

Where should I even begin?

"Excuse me. Lorcan?" That is where I am going to start. I pat him on the shoulder, but he seems to be in a hurry. I don't care. I need to talk to him. "Do you have a minute? Or maybe ten." I let out a nervous laugh.

He's frowning and looks mean. Did I say something wrong? "I'm sorry, but I have to go," he replies and points over his shoulder. "I really need to go, I can't mess this up again." That makes two of us.

"Maybe later, then?" I wonder. To keep myself from talking, I bite into the inside of my left cheek.

He sighs and lets his eyes trail on the asphalt we're standing on. "Sure," he shrugs. "Come find me later, if that's okay."

I realize then that we're not fighting. He's not glaring at me nor grinning like a villain. He is normal. Somehow it makes me even more nervous, because I guess my hand was ready to throw a punch when it would have gotten out of hand. He's not threatening me, he's just as worried as I am. Why?

Where's the bad boy we all know? Where is boy with the bleeding eyebrow? Where is the boy who lied so much that no one wanted to have anything to do with him?

Where is the boy who was too proud of his secrets?

I watch him leave. I drag my feet as I walk to the fountain and take a seat. I'm bored, confused, lonely, a mess. The list could go on, but I won't let it. I need to stitch my life back together.

To his surprise, Jocelyn wanted to meet up at the cafeteria. Maybe it was so neither of them would make a scene; maybe it was because she thought it'd be nice to have dinner together; maybe it was the only logical place beside her house that they could meet in.