Blue Howard (boyxboy)

Five, four, three, two, one

A/N: Short, but at least it's a new chapter, right ?

Leave a comment. I love reading those.

Happy reading :) 

Chapter 24 – Five, four, three, two, one

We are at a café, sitting near the window. I’m stirring the tea with the tiny spoon they gave me. The interior is pretty: light lime green with baby pink. Makes me feel like home, and I do miss home.

I don’t miss mom’s boyfriends who got drunk in our living room and tried to teach me lessons.

I don’t miss hiding Lilly in my room under the bed and me taking the blame for everything.

I don’ miss yelling at mom, telling her she needs to get over this, she needs to find balance, she needs to find a safe job and she needs to quit those men who are just bad decoration on our couch.

Finally she listened to me. But our family was scarred. And mom wanted to send me away so I could live with dad, and she wants to do the same with Lilly, because, as she put it, she can’t deal, she can’t take care of her kids when she can’t even manage herself.

“What are you thinking about?” Jocelyn asks. She ordered a cupcake and it looks delicious. Part of me wants to vomit at the thought of sugar.

I shake my head. “Just how it’s nice to be here, away from all the stress,” I say. The buildings back at campus look miserable. All of them remind me of a textbook, or professors who don’t like me, (there are those rare people who actually think of me as a good person), or all the excessive drama.

It was never in my intentions to break up with someone I love.

Crap...someone I like.

It just happened to be that the drama you thought was behind you, somehow still dragged along, and there was always heaviness on your chest that kept you from breathing properly. It was as if I was paranoid and doing all the bad things to myself. Maybe I was.

“Yes, it is. And the food is good,” Jocelyn says. If only we’d be happier; if only we didn’t have to fake around each other. I know we keep telling out loud that we don’t have to hide, but I think we do. We can’t just lay it all on the table. Honesty can’t be forced upon people, it is wrong; just how it’s wrong to make someone keep everything to themselves.

“Cheers.” I raise the teacup and drink. As I lower it to set it on the table, I catch a glimpse of movement. I turn to look.

“What is it?” Jocelyn asks, trying to find what I was focusing on.

“Nothing,” I shake my head. “Must have been...I don’t know, I thought I saw something.”  I have a weird feeling in my stomach, so I finish my tea to wash it away. It’s as if something is about to happen. I know it’s silly.

“Probably just the sun,” she says. “Maybe a car drove by and the sun reflected from it.”

“Might be.”

Might have been the sun, might have been my over-thinking mind that just doesn’t want to accept things as it is.

I want to run to Anton and kiss him, but knowing that there might be someone lurking around the corner who wants to hurt him, won’t let me do it. I won’t give Lorcan an excuse to send his dogs out to scratch and bite Anton. I will take the blame.

Everything seems like home.

This time school is different.