Blue Howard (boyxboy)

Sparks

Hiya! It's been a week and this is an update. hastag proud of myself because I was able to upload it in time. Believe it or not, I started this story a year ago and looks where we are now. Crazy! I know, I'm a slow writer, sorry.

I hope you like it.

Happy reading x)

ps: also, for once, give me a comment! I'd love to hear what you think. (make me happy)

Chapter 33 - Sparks

Jocelyn is sitting in her room on her bed, rocking her feet back and forth. Her hair is wet and the door to her bathroom is open with the light still on. Evan steps in and closes the door behind him; Jocelyn doesn't even look up.

"So you brought Lorcan," she mumbles glassy-eyed. It is dark in her room, only her bedside lamp is glowing with light.

Evan winces; he didn't know she'd noticed. "Yes, I'm sorry. I should have told you first."

Jocelyn sighs and brushes her hair aside. "He didn't come after me," she whispers and looks up. "I thought he'd run to me and beg me to give him a chance to explain. He didn't ignore me either." She lets out a laugh as if pitying herself.

"Actually, that's why I came here," Evan starts and leans his back against the wall. He crosses his arms in front of his chest. "He actually wants you back as a friend."

"He does?" Jocelyn frowns. There's a pack of cigarettes next to her on the bed. It seems to be untouched. "After all I did to him?"

"I don't know what happened," Evan says. "No one has told me. But he misses you. That's what he said." He doesn't know how to approach the subject; he just knows that things have to be cleared out.

"So you're not up to date with my miserable love life?" Jocelyn raises her eyebrow, a crooked smile on her lips. Evan shakes his head and pushes himself away from the wall. Slowly, he walks to the bed and sits down. Jocelyn shifts, so Evan can fit next to her. "I was very manipulative. I put him through hell. I was very mad at myself for being such a mess and a failure that I thought if I pushed it even further, he'd step away and I could blame him, because I needed someone else to blame beside myself." She stares at her hands, nail polish chipped and broken. "I had a lot of anxiety and I did things I'm not proud of. Drinking and smoking was my gate to safety, even though it wasn't safe. One time I went drunk driving. He tried to stop me, but I pushed him away and to further prove my point, I threw the bottle over his head and it shattered on the ground. Not a healthy relationship. He was scared, I mean I was scared because of the way I acted, but I was a break-up kid, angry at both of my parents and I definitely thought that no one needed me, so it was very hard to believe that Lorcan needed me. I crashed my car into a tree and crawled out of the wreckage. He ran after the car and then called the ambulance. The friends I had at my house, he called them and told them to leave. He took care of me, but I was rather angry at him than thankful. The more I pushed him away, the more I wanted him to push back, but he stopped right when I was taken to the hospital." Evan takes her hand and gives a reassuring squeeze. "It was like we had never been. Only now I understand how miserable I made our relationship. I guess we are better as friends. Could be. I have to apologize, but that wouldn't be enough." She smiles wryly. Evan puts an arm around her shoulders and brings her closer. He kisses the top of her head.

"He'll give you a second chance," he says and nods, more to himself. "I promise. You'll be friends again."

"You like him?" Jocelyn whispers and lifts her head to look at Evan, he loosens his grip around her shoulders.

Evan bites the inside of his cheek and wrinkles his nose as if unwilling to answer.

"That's okay," she says kindly, brings her hand up and cups Evan's cheek and then lightly kisses his other cheek. "Thank you for listening. Howard has been very lucky to have you around." She stands up and slowly turns around on her heel. "He can stay. But I will not face him yet. Just let him know that it's okay. Maybe we'll start with a 'hi' and then move up to actually speaking to each other."