18 : Chemistry

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Colby's POV

"Can I kiss you?" my body freezes at the favor she just asked me. Is this real right now or am I dreaming?

"W-what?"

"I was finally allowed to use my phone a few days ago. And ever since I got it back every night I look at you" she replies.

"Sorry that sounds so creepy. I swear I'm not a stalker or anything. It's just that when I scroll through my photos all the last hundred photos are of either you, me, us together, Ava and Julia with you, or them with me" I am surprised that she did not delete them. It makes me happy to know she still has them.

"I can see that it's me in the photos but my brain won't process that it's actually me. I can see the emotions I had in the photos. I can understand what I felt at that moment. I just can't remember it or feel what I felt"

"Okay" I don't know what else to say.

"I asked if I could kiss you because I thought that maybe if I could feel what I see in the photos the memories will come back. It was pretty obvious that the one I had the strongest emotions towards was you"

"So you think kissing me will bring the memories back?" I ask for clarification.

"Yes"

I give no response as my mind is going through too much to process.

"Forget it. It was a stupid idea-" I cut Noah off with my lips. I gently meet hers, the first time in weeks that I get to kiss her lips. Taken back by my response she doesn't kiss back which made me want to pull away, which I would have done if I had not felt her begin to reciprocate the kiss.

Her hand comes up to my cheek as the kiss continues. Mine goes to the side of her neck. Our lips move perfectly together. I don't understand how our physical chemistry is still the same. It feels as if her body still remembers me. At the feel of her tongue I let out a muffled moan. I did not expect to make that noise. I could not help it.

I give everything I have into this kiss. Hoping that this works. It is a long shot but if by any chance this works I have to try it.

We both slowly pull apart. Both of us catching our breaths. Our foreheads still leaning on each other. Our hands remain on each other. I open my eyes gradually. Noah's are still closed.

"Woah" she says softly. Her eyes beginning to open.

"D-did it work?" I ask with hope.

"No" she answers. My face drops with sadness. For some reason Noah also looks sad about it not working.

"But that was amazing" her lips lift to a soft smile.

"We always did have great physical chemistry. Even when we couldn't stand each other" I smile.

The warmth of her hand on my cheek brings me comfort. I have missed her touch so much. At the feel of her thumb rubbing her thumb I almost fell apart. This is becoming too hard to handle. Being this close to her, the kiss, her touch. It is all coming back. The memories are flashing through my head. The weeks that I have spent working on not crying when thinking about Noah are crumbling. When I realize that Noah is starting to lean back in I pull away. Standing up to walk away from her.

"I'm sorry but I can't" I say with my back towards her.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asks.

"No" I turn to her. "I just can't do this. It hurts too much. I want to kiss you, trust me I do, but I can't fall back into how I was three weeks ago. I am still picking up the pieces"

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