𝑠𝑖𝑥𝑡𝑦.

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TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE!

(continued from prologue)

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

The voice startled him out of his wits. Recognizing the two people that barged in, he gripped the knife even harder.
"I'm gonna go," Jikyung said. "I'm gonna go and everything will be okay again. The sun that will rise without me, will shine upon a much better city."

"Hyung! Please don't do it, what about me?" Jisung cried. He could feel his heart breaking, the day it happened.
Jikyung smiled weakly. "Jisungie... You're gonna be okay. I'm weak and mortal, after I die, I'll be able to protect you much better. Me and little Yoonie. We'll always be with you."

"Hyung, what kind of nonsense are you saying!" Jisung tried coming close to him but his brother threatened to cut his veins so both Jisung and his father were frozen on their spot.

"Don't cry, Ji, you know goodbyes aren't forever. I raised you better than that. Don't cry. Death is too weak to break our bond. Temporary sleep and decay can't come between us. Goodbye, for now, Jisungie."

And then it happened. What was never supposed to happen. "It's your fault," Jisung cried over and over at the hospital, though his father probably couldn't hear him, "It's your fault."

He did not cry at the funeral. He did not cry, he did not cry, he did not cry.
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Caressing the memories one last time, he sent away all his brother's and sister's stuff. It was better to move on and donate these to charity. He sighed as one Dumbledore quote came to his mind,

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, those who live without love."

So he sent it all away. Feeling far more empty than he had in years, he looked up at the sky. Brilliant sunshine of November. Sky blue. Blue sky. And maybe Jisung was going insane, but he could almost see his siblings smiling at him.

He smiled back at the sky. Stupid, but feelings are never rational anyway.

Not until his eyes were watering from the intensity of the sun, did he turn away into the shadows of his home.

The next day, as he was walking to class, feeling slightly better and wanting to die a little less, he saw Minho running up at him.
Jisung sighed. Of course. He knew it would happen.

Minho halted before him, panting hard. After recovering himself, he looked at Jisung directly in the eyes.

"Come to apologize?" Jisung raised his eyebrows.
Minho breathed, "Jisung, you've got hear me out. I've got the solution—"

"What excuse do you have this time? You tell me you love me then you tell me you hate me— what have you come to tell me now? That you're diagnosed with bipolar disorder?" Jisung sassed.

"I deserve every bit of all the shitty taunts that you have to give me, but you've got to listen now. So, that day when we broke up, all the things I said, I wanted you to get away from me because—"

"Ah, yes. Here we are. I was expecting it all. I know exactly how sorry you are. Why don't you shut the fuck up and try another boy for a change? Pretty sure you'll find the perfect skinny slut for you. Use your tactics on someone else, Minho, not me. I have a damned class to attend. Get out of the way." Jisung's temper was going up.

Minho was getting frustrated. "Jisung, I know I fucked up real bad, but you've got to hear me out, this isn't any tactic— stop clicking your tongue! Listen to me!" Minho prayed to the Almighty God to keep his sanity together this time.

"Minho, let me go! Haven't you done enough damage already? I'm already so fed up, just let me go! I don't want to hear anything!" Jisung snarled as the bell rang and students ran to their classes. Minho was getting dragged by students, away from Jisung.

"Jisung!" Minho half shouted, desperately, for the last time, "I never told you because I didn't want you to worry! But my parents are homophobic and murderers, Jisung, they're bloodless murderers, secret mafia people who secretly kill 'unpleasant' and 'weird' people and blame it on religious organizations- that's why they disowned me in the first place- but I'm going to get rid of them!" Minho was too far away from him now. He had no option but to turn and go back to his class. "I'm going to fix this, I'm going to fix us even if I have to swim 7 oceans!"

Jisung was left there dumbfounded. Was that why Minho helped him, because he couldn't help himself? If Minho knew his parents were murderers, why didn't he report to the police? Was breaking up with him necessary?

During class, he wrote it all down for Felix and Seungmin to see. (He didn't have to worry about notes, Seungmin was diligently taking them and Felix was fully invested in this, even giving him careless whispers.)

After the revelation, Felix almost jumped out the window (Seungmin stopped him) from the class and Seungmin's entire body twitched. Both of them were shocked and angry that Jisung never told them the complete truth about his own father. Once they were done trying to hit Jisung, their anger calmed down a bit (the danger was gone, so what's the point?) And they felt able to give an opinion.

"First of all, fuck you Jisung," Seungmin casually said with his hands clasped together like a prayer and Felix nodded. "Second of all, what the fuck, Jisung."

"Exactly. Like, both of you are crazy as hell. Now, I see that you're questioning why Minho didn't tell you earlier, but you already should have the answer of your own question. You did the same with us, Jisung, and you know how difficult it is to reach out to someone. Especially when your loved one is in horrendous danger and you are not powerful enough to protect them, and there is constant fear and anxiety." Felix said calmly.

"Using all your braincells, I see," Jisung said moodily.

"He's right, Jisung, whatever he did, his intentions must have been pure. Though, that doesn't excuse his behaviour. I mean, he could have done it nicely, and reported earlier..." Seungmin added his opinion.

"But Seungmin, don't you know him? How secretive and protective he is? He probably wanted to keep his friends safe too. And there's this constant fear of being judged. He looks slightly damaged to me." Felix argued.

"If everything was this bad, why did he even date me?" Jisung sighed.

"Maybe he thought that the danger was over, and you can't blame someone for living their life. None of us knew this would happen. Though, we aren't properly convinced you should go back to him, Jisung. He did hurt you, and none of it was your fault." Seungmin said.

"I second that... I also am not sure if you should take him back. Maybe we should wait and see what happens? Jisung, don't reject him immediately but wait so he can prove himself," Felix said as Jisung looked at Minho, who was also taking notes.

He sighed. This is all so worrisome.
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Hello guys... I am not well these days so updates may take a while...
Also, i apologize if the story seems rushed. I want to finish it early because i want to write another book. I mean, the academic year I'm in is the most important ever, but idk why I'm motivated enough. Don't worry, it's not ending anytime soon. It may take a while.

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