𝑡𝑤𝑜.

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the book hit the table with a small thud. "it has been the third time you have forgotten an assignment. tell me, does anything penetrate your head? when i gave you the last 'last warning', were you listening?"

mr. kim's words pierced through jisung as the other students snickered. he wished that he could be deaf for that moment, or just die.
"but sir.. i.."
"what excuse do you have now you idiot boy? you have brains but you don't make a use of them. i'll report you to the principal now. it's too much."

the lunch bell rang. jisung had never been this thankful to a bell before in his life.
"class dismissed. do not forget to hand over today's assignment next week, especially you, han. in other conditions, i may or may not get you suspended. good day to you all." mr. kim said contemptuously.

jisung picked up his stuff and left for lunch, a bit quicker than usual. he was determined to go to the rooftop. he tried to run, along with the students, but then kim sunoo caught him by the collar.

"where you running, girly squirrel? feel a bit hungry, don't you?"
"let go of me", jisung said.
"no, not before a bit of fun, right, boys?" keho asked earnestly.
"yeah, don't think we'll leave you before seeing your choco chips", ten said.
"ten, don't be so horny. babygirl, why don't you study instead? can't even complete assignments! you're so brain-dead, aren't you?" doyoung said laughing.
"easy, doyoung. that's just his trauma. his mumma took his sanity with her, ha! careful, now, he might start attacking us!"
they all mimicked mental patients grotesquely, pulling ugly faces. "borderline hanji" they kept chanting.
"hey, enough, baby will cry again!"

jisung was too fed up. he tried to leave but yuta tackled him. he pulled up his shirt for everyone to see.
everyone "oohed" and "aahed".
"did babygirl get beaten by daddy again?" yuta said shrewdly.

too much. he slipped out of their grip and ran as fast as he could. he could feel the wind whistling in his ears. his eyes were getting misty by getting assaulted in that way. by feeling unsafe and vulnerable even while being wrapped in clothes. by getting reminded how his father removed his shirt last night. luckily, no one followed him. he couldn't take it anymore.
he was going to end it.
he ran to the rooftop.

climbing up the grill, looking down on the ground from the tall building of his school.
there was gonna be no regretting. his acrophobia creeping up on him. he knew he had mere seconds to do it before his acrophobia gives him a anxiety attack-

"hey, jisung!"
a voice came out from nearby. jisung started and looked around to see who had called his name out. he saw a boy with wide terrified eyes and blonde dyed hair, followed by another boy behind him.

"get down here!" the boy behind the blonde yelled.
jisung looked back at the ground. he was too late.
he started having a anxiety attack. the blonde was confused but the boy behind immediately recognized it for what it was. he ran to him and helped him down.

after a while, with their help, jisung was able to overcome his panic attack. all three of them sat down on the roof floor. jisung was crying. he couldn't help it.
"hey, mate, you okay there?" the blonde boy asked. he had a bit of an accent. he also looked shaken, having witnessed a suicide attempt.
"i- i'm fine.." jisung tried to speak.
"hey there, calm down, it's okay." the other boy with brown hair was saying.
jisung started to recognize them. they were from his own class. after a while, they started to feel a bit better.

"oh, i forgot, we haven't properly introduced ourselves yet!" the blonde boy said enthusiastically.
"but doesn't he know us? we're from his class.."
"still, a lil intro wont hurt!"
"alright then, i'm seungmin", the brunette said holding out his hand for jisung to shake.
"and i'm lee felix!" the blonde boy said. "we know you, you're han jisung from our class!"
jisung grunted, unsure what to say.
"let's go back to class", he decided to say.

they all got up to leave for the classroom. they walked in silence, coming to a halt in front of the classroom door. "let's go", seungmin said and entered the class. jisung tried to follow suit, but felix stopped him.
"hey.. listen.."
jisung stopped, saying "yes?"
"don't do that again... suicide is never the solution. i'm here if you wanna talk, okay? will always be." felix squeezed his hand affectionately.
jisung just nodded, not knowing how to react to sudden kindness after being miserable for all this time.

*time skip just because,,*

jisung was in front of his computer again. seeing felix and seungmin being frank with each other really just strengthened the feeling of everlasting loneliness inside him. he was working on music again,, after completing his assignment, of course. he had been working on this song since a long time, seeing people happy with eachother.
people having friends.
he stared at the words "j.one" on his computer. true to his surname, he was lonely. he had adopted his name after being inspired by a senior named jung hoseok.
he became bored and decided to watch some scientific stuff, like natgeo. he liked that stuff.
"..and it could be anything.. could be anything."
something clicked in his head. yes, a perfect intro..
he went back to his computer and began working again..

after a while, he took a look onto his song, and what he had written. he played the song and closed his eyes, seeing the city of seoul shimmer underneath the balcony..

Falling down, I'm an alien on this earth
Feels like I don't fit in anywhere
No matter how hard I tried to smile I feel so lonely
An alien that got mixed with the earth people
I tried to speak my voice but no one hears me..

so far, so good. he played further.

I was filled with excitement as I landed on a strange place at first
When my eyes became the dark night, my tears keep piling up
Since my confidence could be hated by someone
I survived like I have visited death but somehow I got left out alone
Even though I was with them in the same place, I was an alien yeah
Landed from the universe but my lonely self just got filled with hurt
It's a lonely night, quiet night
It's so dark I use my low voice
It will come true, in between the stars
I'm just lonely, someone please reach out for me and hold me.

his eyes started to fill with tears. he was the type to enjoy his own company, but now he just wanted someone to laugh with. someone to trust. someone to share his pain with. he continued listening to the song.

Right, I don't have every day
I'm carrying all my worries
I'm tired of people not caring about me
I swear to myself I won't fall

There are countless dreams in the sky
Waiting for me so I Don't care about depression
Right I have to live
If I fall, every thing will be ruined, even my dreams

Even my dream will be ruined
The breathe I have taken at this place
It was bitter and painful, but I can hold it in
Don't I want it for my dream?

So no one wanted me
I was too young for everyone to like
As time passes, I became older
Although I'm imperfect, I'm proud of myself

"i tried to speak but no one listens.."

as he was drifting off to sleep, he felt that he really had been an alien. an unwanted one.
and he wanted, more than anything, to go back home.

-
oooff it feels so cringe to read it,, :( i thought i had written smth good, but.. now i don't think its good anymore.. im just trying my best. and yeah luckily i never got bullied so i don't know how it really works, i hope you don't judge me..
again, then
until next time!
with care,
blue.

Edit: hi I'm from the future after completing this. I have a fandom name for you guys who like this book (if there's anyone at all who likes this book 😭😭) it's LAVies!
The abbreviation of like a Volcano is LAV... It sounds like love.. so lovies.. LAVies.. geddit? Hahaha

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