like a volcano | minsung (and a hell lot of other ships) ✓

𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑦-𝑜𝑛𝑒.

Jeongin opened his eyes. It wasn't a dream. They were all walking together, him, Seungmin, Minho and Jisung. After a while, Seungmin said, "Okay guys, I'll see you tomorrow, good bye guys!!" He waved cheerfully.

Why was he so happy. It couldn't be because of Jeongin. Of course.

"Hyung, you seem happy," Jeongin asked.
"I'm away from them two," Seungmin said and Jeongin sighed. Of course.

Jisung waved them goodbye and then realized that he was now alone with Lee Minho. He couldn't help but feel nervous and excited at the same time.

"Pretty," Minho said. Jisung jumped and he felt his heart beat fast. He looked at Minho in utmost shock.

"The sunset," Minho said, locking eyes with Jisung's. Seeing his expression, he chuckled a little. "Now, what did you think?"

Jisung wanted to dig a hole fifteen feet into the ground and hide there for the next forty years. He fought against the blush reddening his cheeks, completely at a loss for words.

Minho laughed. A pleasant one, rather than the mocking laugh that he used to give Jisung. Jisung felt a bit better hearing him laugh.

At least I made you laugh.

"Did you take notes today, Jisung?"
"Yeah. All of them. Do you want them?"
"Yes."

Jisung looked at Minho. He thought studying was a waste of time. Why the sudden change of heart?

"Oh, no, it's just that, if I don't get a grip of myself soon..." He sighed. "Well, I don't want to work in cafés forever, right?"

"No, no, it's very responsible of you, very mature," Jisung said. Minho smiled in return. "Thanks, but I don't know if I deserve that."

"Of course you do! You deserve a lot of compliments. You are very ambitious and driven. I'll do my best to help you out whenever I can. If you ever need me you know I'll always be available." Jisung replied warmly. Minho smiled a bit more.

I wish you would smile forever. I just wish I were the one to make you smile. I want to be closer to you, but I feel so so afraid. I'm afraid I'll lose you or you'll lose me. I'm afraid of everything.

Jisung felt a terrible sadness. He could never feel complete again. After everything that happened before, he vowed to never trust anyone again but he couldn't help but feel safe around Minho. Something about him reminded Jisung of home.

A home he never had.

"Soon it will be night." Minho said. Jisung never expected it, but Minho was more poetic than he seemed.

"I love the night so much. It's peaceful." Jisung said. "I know right? It's pretty." Minho replied.

They entered Jisung's neighbourhood. Before Jisung could open the gate, Minho stopped him and asked him a question.
"Jisung?"
"Hm?"

"Do you like the moon or the stars?"

Jisung blinked. To any outsider, the question would be ordinary; but to poets and writers, to all those who feel deeply and admire the universe for all the love it showed them, those questions held a lot of importance.

"I don't really know which one I prefer. The sky needs all its decoration and everything is present for a reason. Just like how we all are present in this universe for our respective purposes, each and every star that adorns the sky and the beautiful moon, in all of phases, are all very significant and important. I like them all." Jisung decided to say.

"Philosophical, but you still didn't answer my question." Minho said.
"Yeah." Jisung felt a bit awkward.
"You haven't found out yet? You haven't. I'll give you time to think. Take as long as you want. Good night," Minho smiled warmly.

God, that smile. Those mischievous eyes. Pretty lips. Every feature of him.

He was perfection. Straight out of a famous novel. He turned and left; and like always, Jisung watched his figure blend more and more into the darkness beyond. Fading with every step, until darkness swallowed him whole, away into the city lights.
                            -------

"What do you want?" Felix asked seriously, not his bubbly happy self.
"Not much," Hyunjin looked at the ground.

"How much is this 'not much'?" Felix said in a cold demeanor.
Hyunjin understood his tone and sighed. There was no use beating about the bush.

"Felix, I know what I did. I just want to say, I'm sorry. I know Changbin told you everything. I'm sorry. I like you, Felix, I want you back." He said it. The words that constantly ached in his heart. The words that he couldn't say. The words that he was afraid of.

He had expected Felix's reaction. Why did he even bother? He knew it was hopeless. So why was Changbin so sure that it wasn't? Hyunjin had trusted him only because Changbin had known Felix a lot and better than he did.

"Oh yeah? Realized that I matter, have you?" Felix spoke in a low voice. His voice was very deep, which was a bit unnerving.

"Of course you matter, Felix. You always have. You don't have to have someone in love with you in order to matter. And anyone can change anytime." Hyunjin sounded rather exasperated.

"Didn't think about it when you lied to me, right, Hyunjin? Your coward self had to reduce to lies. If you were a bit braver, you could have said you didn't want me. But you chose to lie not only to me but to yourself too. You are the only one responsible for your state today. Your hurt is your own fault." Felix turned around to leave.

"Felix, please," Hyunjin pleaded, hating the sky that burned red. Felix looked at him with eyes full of tears.

How he could have given everything just to hear those words. And now... now he didn't want to hear anything anymore. He never wanted to see Hyunjin again. Everything hurt.

Hyunjin held his hand and begged him to stay, his eyes also welling up. They both looked like they were going to break.

Felix began to cry and shake violently. "Hyunjin..."

Hyunjin wished he could cry like Felix. But he had to remain stronger of the two, holding Felix in his embrace.

"Hyunjin, I'm so sorry."

No. No, it wasn't happening. Everything's a lie. He could hear a bird sing a soft song, whispering of lingering grief.

"No, Felix, no, please.."
He fell on his knees. But Felix was far away. Too far away. Everything hurt Hyunjin. Everything.

Nothing will be the same ever again. I lost you again, like I always did.

He gazed up, tears finally staining his cheeks. Every inch of him was hurting. He tried hard not to sob, his shoulders shaking violently in the process.

Words. How little they mean when you're a little too late.

Felix was going... going.. gone. Hyunjin could only watch as Felix walked every step; going on and on to finally disappear into the setting sun.