Your soldier (Itzy Yeji X Male Reader)

Chapter 26

Location: Seoul national cemetery
Perspective: Yeji

"You are leaving again."
I say matter-of-factly after (y/n) walks back to me. He just said goodbye to Seri, I found out her name during the main part of the funeral, and apologized for having to leave so early.
(Y/n) sits down across from me, folding his hands on the table.
"I am."
I know I shouldn't be this harsh, he has sadness in his eyes.
"Can't you stay until the funeral is over?"
He shakes his head.
"We have to leave now to pack our things."
"And I suppose you can't tell me where you are going. Right?"
He shakes his head again.
"Does that really matter? You know what I do."
"Not really. You don't tell me anything."
He smiles at me. But I see that it's not a happy one.
"You know more than you should already. I'm doing this to keep you safe."
"From what? From bad people? I don't think they really care if I know what you do."
I realize I've become a little louder. There is no one sitting around us, but Ryujin is sitting at a table nearby.
"I-It's not about that."
He tries to smile at me again, but it's obviously fake.
"Then why can't you tell me?"
(Y/n) reaches out to take my hands into his.
"There is no benefit, to you knowing."
I stay silent, glaring at him.
"When I'm gone, I already make you worried. Do you think that changes when I tell you what I do exactly?"
"And you think it makes it better to not tell me? When you leave, I watch the news every day. Fearing the moment I hear your name or see a picture of you. Dead."
(Y/n) squeezes my hand.
"You will never find out this way. I will never be on the news."
I catch the sadness in his voice.
As I see Seri stand behind him, across the room, I realize how she found out. (Y/n) told her. My heart aches as I think about the future. Who would be telling me? Seahawk? Tiger? Or Wolf?
I now squeeze (y/n)'s hands, not wanting him to leave. When he does, it might be the last time I see him.
"That doesn't make it better. Don't you think I deserve to know?"
I lean over the table a little, my stomach slowly burning with anger over his ignorance.
"I love you."
(Y/n) gives me another smile. It's a genuine one this time. But his eyes look as sad as before.
"I love you too, Yeji. But this isn't what this is about."
"Then what as it?"
(Y/n) sighs, avoiding my eyes.
"Do you know what my biggest fear is?"
I shake my head.
"To die?"
He let's out a chuckle.
"You would think so, but no."
He looks into my eyes.
"My biggest fear is to hurt you. I don't want you to find out the same way Seri did. And I'm afraid, if I tell you what I have done, you won't be looking at me the same way."
"I just told you that I love you. Isn't that proof enough that I won't leave?"
"That might change, once I've told you."
I realize that (y/n) is dead serious about this. What could he have done to be so scared to tell me? Did he kill someone? A shiver runs down my back. It's very likely, but I always try to push that thought away.
Now I realize what he means. I have to force myself to not think about the fact that he might have killed. So how could I be able to handle more?
My chest hurts, trying to put myself in (y/n)'s shoes. He didn't do these things because he wanted to. He did them, because we normal people can sleep safely.
"It will never change. And I don't care how long you will be gone this time. I will keep waiting for you."
Still holding my hands in his, (y/n) raises his hands and plants a kiss on the back of my right one.
"I will say goodbye to the rest. I will be back in a couple of minutes."
He stands up to say goodbye to the other people at the funeral and my members too.
I get up as well, heading towards the bathroom. Why wouldn't he tell me? I don't get it. I swear I would still love him. Whatever he did.

Location: Israel airspace
Perspective: (y/n)

"Where are we headed exactly?"
I look at Tiger, who is checking his rifle one last time.
"South."
Seahawk furrows his eyebrows.
"You don't know yourself, do you?"
I shake my head.
"I only know, we are supposed to rescue the hostages. We will cross the border to Egypt and then head home.
" Why Egypt?"
"Because I said so."
Wolf makes weird faces in my direction. I let it slide, knowing it's his way of distracting himself from the situation.
"Take off your dog tags as well."
I reach underneath my uniform and watch the others doing the same.
"No one is supposed to know that we are working for Korea. Understood?"
They all nod as I get up and collect the dog tags.
"How many hostages are we talking?"
"20. They are all Korean, obviously."