I'll Stay

Ch.22

Schools over now, so I bring out my phone to text Valen to see where he's at since he's my ride home.

We actually haven't texted eachother in a while with both of us drifting apart, but now were in a good place..or whatever this is.

Valen

"I'll see you tomorrow goodnight Novah" -Read 1:29 AM

~•~

Me: "Hey valenn, where r u??"
...
Valen: "Behind youu:))"

I turn off my phone and turn around to see Valen standing a couple of feet behind. "You creep" I jokingly say walking towards him, "I'm your creep though..wait that doesn't sound right does it." He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, he silently chuckles before pulling me close to him and walking.

I feel funny..and not in a clown way to clarify. Like I said lately I've been feeling a type of way with Valen and it's not leaving no matter how hard I try or what I do. I'm scared I really am if it what I think it is, I'm not ready I'm not ready I'm not ready.

I can't tell if I'm actually not ready or if I'm so scared of getting hurt that I'm feeding lies to myself. People think having commitment and trust issues is something easy to overcome and isnt a real issue but they dont understand how huge of a problem it can be or how people can struggle tremendously to see that they deserve happiness too.

I've let the actions that's happen in my life lead me to covering myself in this tough exterior, and I don't want anyone to ever get close enough to me to have an opportunity to break it and potentially put me through another source of pain. And with my dad's passing it's like I'm living in a bubble and just in caution all the time around everyone. Always making sure my walls are high and stable.

But currently I dont know if I'm just insane but I can literally feel myself crumble around Valen like I can trust him, but I know it's all a lie. Maybe in another life or another dimension me and Valen are happy and together, but in this current lifetime it's wrong so why does it feel so right to let him in and see all my scars that need healing. Why do I want him to see me vulnerable. I could possibly get hurt but I could also find the person who completes me. I could either stay, or I could go.

"..hey are you okay, I've been talking for the past 5 minutes and you seem totally out of it." Valen looks over at me worryingly in the car getting ready to drive out of school.

"Yea I'm ok just thinking about some things." Which was true. He gives me a reassuring nod and pulls out of school.

"Hey you wanna come over today ?" Valen says pulling me out of my day dream, I lift my head up from the window and turn to look ar him,"sure, can I spend the night ?" I dont even know why i asked it's like my heart is doing the talking. He smiles, "You never need to ask, my door is always open for you Novah." I really dont deserve this a part of me thinks, and I agree I dont deserve this.

~•~

"I'll go grab a few things and be at yours in a few kay" I tell valen before entering my apartment. I get my bag and grab my pjs, sleep pills, and a few other toiletries. I also grab some clothes for tomorrow and my backpack. I walk out my place and lock the door heading to Valens. I knock on the door waiting for him to open be let inside, "Doors open" He yells. I open the door and walk in to see him in the kitchen.

"Weird question, you wanna make pasta with me?" His head lies on the counter looking at me with his beautify diamond blue eyes.

"Always yes." I say trying to be more free with him, I rush over to his side, "let's make the best fucking pasta ever." I lift up my hand for a high five. he connects his hand with mines, "let's fucking do it."

~•~

"I think to safe to say that gordan Ramsey would actually send a hitman to kill us if he saw what the fuck we were creating." Valen laughs trying to roll this clump we call dough. "Valen this is soooooooo your fault, I told you to add more water." I laugh along with him feeling the tears brim my eyes over this master piece we were creating.

"Yea let's just act like you didn't try to add like 3 table spoons of salt" he fights back. I roll my eyes and turn around to give him my back, but then felt something get thrown at me.

"Did you just throw flour at me..." I say touch my back feeling the dust on my back, I grab a handful of flour and walk slowly towards valen, "woah let's think about good decisions agápi mou" he says backing up, the last part in what I think is greek?.

"Your Greek?" I ask almost forgetting about the flour in my hand. Almost

"Parents are Greek, but I was born here. I probably dont look greek with these bright blue eyes which I heard is very rare, but I am Greek and pretty fluent in speaking it." He shares with me. "That's so cool, what other languages do you know?" I ask interested wanting to know more. "Not much, common English if you cant tell." "Greek, a little Spanish and Italian." Is it bad that guys who speak languages other than English turn me a little on?

"What about you?" He sits on the counter also intrested in our conversation.

"The only other language I speak is French. My mom was born in France and she taught me French before she passed, and she died when I was about 9 so I didnt know much yet so my dad continued to teach me until I was fluent enough." I open up to him, which surprises me.

Thank you guys for reading this chapter I appreciate it soo soo soo much see y'all in the next chapterrrr. Dont forget to vote please love yalll

Xoxo