I'll Stay

Ch.5

Today's Monday.

I have therapy after school today. If your wondering why, well first of all I had a panick attack at school that scared the shit out of me and also I woke up from one of the worst nightmares I've ever had, and realized that I'm not ok we've always knew that u weren't ok, were not dumb and these pills aren't rlly helping that much at this point. It's 6:45, I woke up later than usual today.

I get inside the bathroom and make the mistake of looking at myself in the bathroom again.

I just stand there noticing all my flaws and hating them all. I'm disgusting.

~•~

I'm done showering, and I pick out something cozy to wear since it'll be cold today, it's cold everyday but it just colder than I can usually handle. I opted out on a cream hoodie, and tan cargos paired with my air forces and headphones.

I grab my school bag and make my way to school

Even though my schools like 15 minutes away. There was mad traffic that made the drive almost 40 minutes. So its safe to say I'm late

School starts 8:30 and its 8:47 and I'm just opening the front door of the school. I make a quick detour to my locker to drop some stuff in it and head to 207 my first class of the day

"Miss.Jacklin I'm glad you could make it this morning." Mrs.Breacher said sarcastically. I dont even spare her a glance as I took a seat in the back. "Heyy Novahhhh" Nickolas said to me making me look up from the board and to him.

Everyday in class he bothers me, I just dont have enough care for myself to care for other people. It wouldnt be fair to them. So I ignore him

~•~

Its P.E and we're going to be running 5 mile today. That's just Great, 1 easy, 3 ok that's fair, but 5? Ok

I finished my first mile eaily. It was great help with the wind blowing through my hair and face giving me some sort of relief. The sky being as blue as ever and a great scene to watch while I run, and the air flowing through my clothes as I run giving me some type of adrenaline. The 2nd and 3rd mile was also pretty easy too, after getting a drink of water to refresh myself. The 5th mile was the one I was on right now, the last one. I dont know why but I felt free while running. I felt like the girl in that painting I made. I felt carefree as if i had no problems to face. As if I had no care in the world

The last mile came to an end, and I was the first one to finish all 5 miles.

"Wow Novah, i think you should join track. You would be a great addition to the team." Coach Matt said. He handed me a flyer for when try out were held and I took it

Joining track wouldnt be such a bad idea. This could be the thing that takes my mind off of my problems like valen said.

Right, about valen we've been hanging out a lot recently. Us being neighbors and understanding eachother has been easy for us to communicate and be around eachother. He actually invited me over his apartment today to hang with him and someone else. I wasn't too sure because I dont like meeting new people but I'll give it and drop by after therapy

~•~

I arrive at the clinic place and check in at the front desk."Good evening, do you have a session today?" The kind red headed lady sitting at the desk in front of me asked. "Yea I have a session here today at 3:45"

"Ok sweetie, go through hallway D, and the door to your right should be your session" I thank her and go through hallway D.

I knock 3 a few times before getting a response "it's open"

"Have a seat, Novah" a woman that's looks to be in her 40s says.

I looks around to see a room full of color. The wall painted with pastel colors and plastered with pictures of quotes. The room was full of decoration. Shelves full of books tables with canvases and paint, papers and pencils. The couches full of throw pillows and stuffed animals and stress toys all around.

I take a seat at the couch in front of her. "Good Evening Novah, I'm Lindsey Thompson, but you can call me Lindsey. "Ok Lindsey".

"So Novah tell me why you're here. You didnt really give me a description of you when you created a session with me" I didnt know what to put for the description part of the application because I dont even know me.

"I dont know" was all I said, because I dont. I woke up one day after I had a nightmare and decided that I need therapy

"Ok then tell me about your family" Lindsey said taking out her clipboard. Wow that's just a great question to start with. "Ok, my Mom died when I was 9 with cancer and my dad died of a heart attack not too long ago. I also have no other family" I finished off with. "Well I know your parents would be proud of you for taking responsibility in you life and seeking help instead of letting all your emotions consume you." She said instead of responding with the basic response to my story 'I'm so sorry for you, i definitely know how you feel'

"So how have you been feeling after you lost your dad." "I feel numb. I feel empty. I feel like I have no purpose in life, and I don't. And I'm trying so hard to find one, but it's not coming. And I'm getting tired." I say blankly looking up to the ceiling trying to paint a picture in my head.

"I understand you. When I lost my brother, my other half. There was no point of waking up, and feeling that same empty feeling. And then do it all over for the rest of my life. November of 2013, I planned on killing myself." She paused. This was definitely a hard topic for her, and I'm grateful she's sharing her past with me. "I decided I would end this pain on top of a building. On top of that building I met another guy there. Let's just say we both gave eachother a purpose in life" She finished off, she looked at me with her glossy eyes and said "You need to find your purpose, and I can tell you it's closer than you think."

~•~

My session ended about 20 minutes ago, and I'm back home. I forgot that I still have to go to valens place for a hang out.

I change into a white cropped tank top, with a creme zip up hoodie and my tan cargo shorts. I put on socks and wear my white crocs. I get keys and wallet just in case, and head out next door.

I knock on the door , and im met with Nickolas.

Thank you guys for reading chapter 5. The next chapter will be a chapter of description of what they look like because I never really gave one. I wont out reference pictures so you guys can use your imaginations.

Xoxo