violet gallagher // shameless

52- please, don't go

i didn't know where to go, because all my motivation for going to the rink just faded.

so i ended up knocking at the milkovich door. but not for mickey, i was there to talk to mandy. she's the only one i wanted to talk to right now. 

ian leaving me, leaving the family, caused a big black hole in my stomach. 

after a few seconds waiting, mandy eventually opened up. 

"hey. where were you today? didn't see you at school." she greeted me. oh yeah, i forgot to say that i skipped school today. 

"something came up." i said. 

"they gave us homework over the christmas break. you know, i told mrs. stoltz jesus didn't want us celebrating his birthday by fucking reading." she smiled. "want the assignments?" 

"nah, i'm good. just came by to see you." i said. 

"who's at the goddman door?" i heard a voice shouting. mickey. i didn't talk to him or see him since the wedding. and i didn't want to. 

"it's for me shithead!" mandy yelled back. "got some nitrous. i'll go get it." 

i nodded. mandy walked off and i just stood there. mickey and ian on my mind. 

"hey." jesus christ. my heart stopped for a second when mickey suddenly stood next to me. "up to four sets of 20." he held up the dumbbell in his hand. 

i just stared at him. to be honest, i can't really tell what i felt in that moment. if it was relief he talked to me, or anger or sadness. idk. 

"get in here, i wanna show you something." he smiled. how was he so calm after our last arguement. well, but i didn't really wanted to see what he got. 

"come on, check it out." he walked into his room. i hesitated but then i found myself following him. 

"wife made me take all my nazi shit down. she hates nazis." 

i also hate nazis. but he didn't take down the stuff for me. well, but to be fair, i never told him i hated nazis. 

"apparently, the russians kicked some serious kraut ass in world war 2, so..." he took out a cigarette and placed it between his teeth. "she can drink me under the fucking table, man. it's weird." he lit up his cigarette. i stayed silent the entire time, watching him closely. 

"anyways, she's working tomorrow night." he walked up to me. "why don't we pick up where we left off? figure she's gonna be out fucking dudes, why can't i fuck a girl then?" he suggested. 

that's it? all i am for him is a girl to fuck? wow. being honest with myself, yes i wanted to hook up with him again but i didn't want him to know that. so i just smiled and shook my head. "no thanks." 

"hard to get's getting me hard, little gallagher." he took a drag. 

"you know mickey, i'm not the kind of person who likes to be the second choice of someone, who's first choice is a serious slut." i said. 

"hmm."he made.

"i, uh, i moved on." i kept fake smiling. no i didn't move on. i wanted to feel his lips on mine so badly. 

"moved on huh? you expect me to chase you like some fucking dog? because i'm not gonna." he snapped. 

"i didn't come here for, mickey." i scoffed, then turned around and walked away. i heard him calling after me but i ignored him, wondering if i just made the worst mistake. 

"hey, i got the nitrous. meet me outside?" mandy waited on the hallway. 

"yeah." i smiled and walked out of the house.

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i wasn't really in the mood for a party but i still went home to join my family celebrating for lip. 

i opened the door and saw everyone laughing and having fun. i put on a brave face and went to hug lip. 

"congarts, big bro. you made it." i smiled into his shoulder. 

"thanks, vi." he smiled back. 

oh, i also found out some kind of big news. frank's gonna die. his liver is really fucked up of the drinking and that's why he was at the hospital. but i don't really care. 

and in the end we had a good time, partying. 

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the next morning i woke up because of some noises. i made myself open one eye to see ian packing his green ROTC bag. my heart sunk. 

i watched him, softly kissing liam's forehead. 

"please, ian..." i croaked, nearly getting a word out. "please, don't go." i felt tears forming in my eyes. 

"i'm sorry, vi." he hugged me. "i'm gonna miss you. i love you." 

the hot tears ran down my face. 

"i love you too, ian." i cried as he let go of me. 

*editors note: i'm sorry this chapter is so short again, but next chapter's gonna be on season 4!!!*