Blood Within Myself//Gerard Way

Leaving (14)

The next morning I woke up in Gerard's room, and Gerard wasn't there. I heard music coming from upstairs though. I figured all the boys were over or something. Gerard got into The school of Visual Arts in New York City, after all we did graduate this year. Gerard was debating on if he wanted to go to school or not because he felt bad leaving Mikey behind. He always did. No matter what the situation was he felt bad leaving Mikey out. But he decided to go anyway. He would be leaving after summer, which would leave me alone in Belleville. He wants to get into the comic book industry. He's super talented. My plan is to eventually move to New York City to be with him, but it's gonna take time, and money. It's not cheap. I might not be alone in Belleville. Frank might stay behind and help with his family business, and Mikey still had a year left to graduate. Ray, well I'm not sure where Ray will go. He was kicked out of the last band he was in for "not being good enough" but I think that's bullshit.

I walked upstairs and all the guys were sitting on the couch, besides Gerard, he was in the kitchen sketching something. "Hey Gee Way." I said and walked behind him, wrapping my arms around his neck.  "Hey honey." He said keeping his face down. He's focused isn't he? "What are you doing?" I asked him and looked down at his paper. "Getting some sketches done to show at my meeting with the college. I mean I know I'm technically already accepted but I would rather be safe, and make sure they are aware of my talent." He still had his face down and his hands were moving softly along the paper. "I'm sure they will know your talent love." I laughed and got up to make coffee. "Better to be safe than sorry. I really want this. I wanna get into the comic field." He said to me. His head has been down this whole time, for the love of god, can he not look up for one second. My own thoughts made me laugh. He's always been a determined person. "I miss your face you know?" I said and looked at him, leaning against their counter. "Sorry." He looked up at me. "There it is." I smiled and kissed his forehead. "I didn't mean to not look up I was just-" I cut him off. "Focused? I understand." I smiled and sat next to him. "I love you, thank you for understanding." He said and kissed my hand, then went back to drawing his silly little character drawings. While all his friends were hanging out enjoying their last bit of summer together, he was in the kitchen making sure everything is perfect for college. "Is he still in their drawing?" Mikey asked me as I walked in the living room. "Yep." I laughed and sat next to him. "He's been sitting there drawing since he woke up this morning." Mikey shook his head. "Did you know he has portraits of you drawn?" Frank looked at me and pointed at me. "What?" I laughed. "Mhm, he's always looked at you for inspiration for his female drawings, but he also has drawings of you. Like sometimes you'll be doing something and he will like take a picture of it, and then draw it later on, or like you'll do something and he will scribble down a small drawing of you." Frank said to me and took a sip of his drink. "It's true." Ray said and shrugged. That's.. cute. I mean I wouldn't have expected it, but it's cute. "Lovely." I smiled and grabbed my coffee cup off the table in front of me. "Ok I'm finished, I did it, how does this look?" Gerard walked in the room and showed us a few drawings. "That looks awesome Gee." Frank said and looked over at Gerard. "It's great." Mikey smiled. "I think so too." Ray said and patted Gerard's back. "Thanks guys." Gerard smiled. His happy smile. I can tell he was so excited about getting into this school. "What do you think Ellie?" He looked over at me, his eyes, they looked different than normal. They had a sorta childlike look to them. "I think they are beautiful Gerard." I smiled. "Really?" He looked at me. "Yes." I smiled. "Thanks sugar." He kissed my cheek. "Mhm." I blushed slightly and then picked up my coffee cup again. Gerard was super talented, and the art looked wonderful. Him going to college was my biggest fear honestly. I work a job here so I wouldn't be able to drive the 40 ish minutes to see him everyday, maybe on the weekends if he didn't have extra course work, but if he did, then maybe not. He was going for a bachelors degree in fine arts, that's 4 years. By that time I will definitely be in New York. It's not far, I just have to save up for a place. Even if it's a small place, I want to be there. Hopefully when he graduates he can get a good job, and I can too, and then we can move in with each other and buy a place. Not sure if we would stay in New York, but we would figure that out when the time comes.

"Can we go talk Ellie?" Gerard whispered in my ear. "Of course." I said and stood up, then walked into the other room with him. "How's this all gonna work when I'm away?" He asked me. "I'm not sure, I mean you won't be super far I can drive up and see you." I smiled. "Ellie you applied for several colleges, and one of them or maybe several are going to accept you. And you are gonna go, because you aren't dumb. And you aren't going to be close." He said to me. "I'm not going to go I don't feel like going." I said to him. "I don't care El's. You are going because I care about your future." He said to me. "Gerard it's just clothes designing for gods sake it's not a big deal, I can probably make it there without school anyway." I said and shrugged. "Ellie you want to go to California." He looked at me. "Yeah? So? I'll wait." I said to him. "Ellie." He held my hands. "I'm not leaving here. I'm not leaving and going far away from you so just stop." I said to him. "It'll only be a few years and then I can move up there." He looked at me. "4 years is longer than a few. I'm staying here." I said to him. "What opportunities are you going to get here honey? Don't waste your time by staying here." He continued to give me reasons to leave. "Why do you want me to go so far for gods sake Gee?" I looked at him. "I want you to do something Ellie, you always wanted this and I want you to have it." He looked at me. "Then I'll move to New York, there are plenty of opportunities there." I looked up at him. "Ok, perfect. There, now we can both be happy." He said to me. "You weren't happy when I said I was going to stay close in the first place?" I looked at him, completely confused. "No I was Ellie, I just-" I cut him off. "You just what?" I looked at him. "I just want the best for you." He sighed. "And I want to be with you, so that's the best thing for me. We shouldn't be arguing over my life, it's my life and I'll do what I want with it." I said to him. "Just don't waste away waiting for me that's all." He looked at me, his eyes full of love completely. "I'm not wasting anything if I'm waiting for you. I would wait forever for you okay?" I kissed his forehead. "I'll just move to New York with you and figure things out from there, it wasn't the original plan but it's close enough." I said and smiled. "You are both moving..?" Mikey came in the room. "Leaving me here?" He looked at us. "Mikey you won't be alone, I mean Frankie is staying." I said to him. "Yeah but Frankie isn't you guys? You know? Like you guys are my people." He shrugged and sat down. "Mikey we aren't gonna be far, we can always drive down and pick you up for a weekend or something, or drive down and come stay here for a weekend. Or even you could drive there. It's only like 40 minutes." Gerard said and sat next to Mikey. "I'll be busy, it's my senior year." Mikey shrugged. "Oh come on Mikes, we were never busy our senior year. You take shit to seriously. We went out and partied every weekend, or snuck out of the house. Let loose this year okay? Senior year is easy as shit. It's basically just a recap of everything you already did in your whole entire life. You will get through it so easy." I rubbed Mikey's back as I sat next to him. "You'll be fine I promise, don't stress." I smiled. "Yeah, I guess." Mikey shrugged. "Mikes it'll be fine. Just finish school and then come live with me and Ellie." Gerard hugged Mikey.

We went the rest of the night talking about college.