Blood Within Myself//Gerard Way

Wasted (5)

SUMMER BREAK STARTS:
"Schools out!!!" Frank screamed as we all walked out of the school. "And my parents aren't gonna be home, which means party at my house tonight!" Frank said and threw his arms around me and Gerard. "Mikes! Hey where are you going?" Gerard said. Mikey always rode home with me and Gee but he was wondering off with some girl. "I'm going to hang out with Catherine." Mikey smiled. His shy smile. I've grown close with Mikey and he told me that he likes this girl. I gave him that "go get her" look and then gave him a thumbs up. They are so cute. "So my brothers got a girlfriend huh?" Gerard laughed and threw his arm around me. "I guess." I shrugged. "At least someones got a girlfriend." He laughed. I can be your girlfriend. I like you. "Yeah."
I smiled. He doesn't like me? "You are great though. And your a girl. So it counts." He smiled. "Thanks Gee." I blushed slightly. "I got you blushing now don't I?" He looked at me, smirking. "Shut up." I turned my head. "Just like I used to when we were kids." He winked.

FLASHBACK:
2ND GRADE:
"Gerard what are you doing, I want that." Eleanor (Ellie) pouted slightly. "Well, I'll give it back, but let me fix it Ellie." Gerard looked at Ellie, fixing the toy that she had. "Here you go princess." Gerard bowed and handed her the toy. Then leaned down and kissed her hand. Ellie blushed and turned her head. "Ellie's blushing!" Gerard teased Ellie. "Stop I am not! Stop it!" Ellie said and sat on the floor. "You are too! You are blushing!" He teased again. "Stop it Gerard I am not!" Ellie said and looked down. Gerard then sat next to her and kissed her on the cheek. "Ellie do you wanna be my girlfriend?" Gerard smiled. "My mommy said that I can't have boyfriends until I'm 30." Ellie said and looked at Gerard. "Well we are 7 so that's basically 30." Gerard smiled. "No it's not that's like years away!" Ellie laughed. "But I can take you to go see first born! It's in theaters. We might have to take my brother though." Gerard smiled. "Like a movie date?" Ellie smiled too. "Mhm." Gerard hugged her. "Okay, I'll  be your girlfriend, but only because I wanna see Corey Haim." She said and kissed his cheek. "Now whose blushing." She giggled.

FLASHBACKS OVER:
"You don't make me blush Gerard." I laughed. "Mhm." He smiled at me. God he's so cute. "Hey Ellie do you want me to pick you up for Frank's party tonight?" Gerard said as he dropped me off. "Yeah that will work." I smiled. "Ok just be ready at 7." He winked at me and drove away. I walked inside and waved to my mom. "Hey mom I'm gonna hang out with friends tonight." I said to her and walked upstairs. "That works dear." She smiled. That's when I seen my brother putting his stuff in boxes. "Ethan?.." I turned and looked at him. "Hey Nora." My brother said to me. He's always called me Nora. While everyone else was calling me "Eleanor" and "Ellie" he called me Nora. I loved it. It made me feel special. "What are you doing..?" I asked him. "Sit down Nora." He patted his bed. "I'm moving out. I'm moving to California." He said to me and sighed. "Ethan? What? No you can't." I said to him. "Listen Nor's.. I gotta go. It's my dream." My brother said to me. "So you're leaving me?" I said to him. "I'm not leaving you Nora, I'll be here for you no matter what okay? You can call me whenever." He said to me. "So? You won't be here. Who am I supposed to talk to?" I said to him, tears now forming. "Me, you can still come to me about your liking for Gerard, or your stupid friends, or if you ever lose your virginity." He teased me and elbowed my side. "I won't tell mom." He smiled. "I don't want you to go." I hugged him. "I love you." He smiled. "I love you too." I let go of the hug. "I gotta get ready for a party." I said and stood up. "Have fun girly." He said to me as I walked into my room.

A little while later Gerard and Ray showed up for me. "Hey guys, wheres Mikey?"  I asked them. "Oh he's busy with Catherine." Gerard smirked. "Don't let Michael get some before me." Ray said. "Oh my lord." I said and buried my hands in my face. When we got to the party it was already packed. We walked past everyone and wandered up to Frank and Amber. Amber was for once sober. While Gerard was on his way to being drunk. We just got here and he's already drunk...? I started talking to a very wasted Frank, and then before I knew it, Gerard was gone. "Wheres Gee?" I asked Frank. "Up my ass, why?" Frank laughed. "He's wasted." I said and wandered my way around. I then found Gerard and Amber. Making out. On the couch. She was grinding on him. "Amber..?" I said. "Oh uh.." she turned around. "What the fuck?" I said and tears filled my eyes. I like him. She knows I like him. What is happening? "You bitch." I said and started crying. "It's not my fault, don't blame me blame Gee." She said to me. "He's drunk." I said to her. "And?" She looked at me. I just slapped her. Holy shit I just hit my best friend. "What the fuck?!" Amber looked at me. "Don't fuck with me." I said to her then grabbed a drink from Frank. I got blackout drunk. And sat with Frank. Before I knew it, me and Frank were in the bathroom, and he was on top of me. "Frank I'm scared." I said to him. "We don't have to do this." He said to me and stopped. Even when he's drunk he's respectful. "I wanna do this." I placed my hands on his face.

I just lost my virginity.

By the time we were done I had sobered up enough to realize. Frank didn't, but I did. He fell asleep, so I got dressed and walked out. I'm disgusted with myself, I'm disgusted. I don't even like Frank. I just lost my virginity to my best friend. God I didn't want it to happen like that. I started sobbing. I went out and sat on the stairs, that's when Ray, who was completely sober walked up to me. "What's wrong honey?" Ray said and sat next to me, rubbing my back. "I lost my virginity." I cried harder. "Why are you crying, that's a win." He laughed. "Because it's as to Frankie, and Gerard is with Amber and-" Ray cut me off. "Frankie?" He looked at me. "I was drunk, and he was too, and I just did it. And I barely remember it, and it's supposed to be this great experience but I don't remember it." I cried. "I feel so gross." I said. "No you aren't gross. It's an average experience. And nothing is worse than how I lost my v-card. Listen I was on this camping trip, and this girl who was a family friend, wanted to fuck me, IN THE WOODS. On the ground. So we did it and the whole time it felt like I was being stabbed by sticks." Ray laughed, causing me to laugh too. "And I know you like Gee, but listen, he likes you too. He's trashed right now, but he likes you. I've talked to him about it. He doesn't like anyone but you." Ray smiled. "Are you sure?" I said to him. "Yes. If you wanna bounce then I can take you home, I'm sober." He said to me and got up. "Can you take me to Donna's house." I cried. "My mom isn't as understanding as donna."
I laughed. "Wherever you wanna go sweetness." He smiled and opened the car door for me.

We pulled up to the boys house and Ray hugged me on the steps. I rang the doorbell and Donna came outside. "Are you okay honey?" She said to me. "Donna can I talk to you?" I said. "Of course honey come in." She said to me. "Donna I.."

CLIFFHANGER