Blood Within Myself//Gerard Way

Loud and clear (26)

About an hour later the show was over. I stood off to the side waiting for Gerard to come over to me. He was handing out a few cds first. "Hey Sugar." He kissed me, a little sloppier than normal, but that is simply because he was drunk. "Hi Gee." I said as he pulled away. "I did good right?" He looked down at me, his hands placed on my waist. "You did great dear. But now I think you need to go home and get sleep." I moved his hair out of his face. "After you shower." I laughed. "And after a celebratory drink." He said. "No, no more. Okay?" I looked at him. I am certainly worried. "Just one." He said and held up a number one with his finger. "Gerard, no." I said to him. "One. That's it. It's not a lot." He placed his hand on my face. "But you've had enough my love." I laughed softly and grabbed his hand. "Let's get home." I said to him. "One. I'll share it with you." He said to me. "Come on Gee we are all heading home." Frank said to him, patting his back. "Ok fine fine." Gerard turned towards the door. "Thanks Frank." I sighed. "I got you." He laughed softly. Frank dropped us off at Gerard's house, and or Gerard's families house, since he still lived at home. We walked through the door and Gerard was still stumbling. "Quiet hun your mom is sleeping." I rubbed his back, helping him down the stairs to his room. He flipped down onto his bed. "Gee get up, let's go get you in the shower." I laughed slightly. I shouldn't have to take care of a drunk boyfriend, but I worry about him. "No no." He said to me. "Come on dear." I grabbed clothes for him. "Fine." He sighed. I got him upstairs and left his clothes on the bathroom counter. "Ok honey, I'll sit outside the door. Just let me know when you are done." I said to him and went to walk out. "No stay please." He grabbed my hand. "Gerard, I'm not going to shower with you honey, you are drunk." I rubbed his back. "No you don't need to, just sit in here, and wait for me. Just sit here, and talk to me." He said to me. "Fine." I sighed.

Gerard got in the shower and I sat on the floor in there. "I'm just so tired." Gerard said to me. "Sleepy?" I responded. "Very." I heard him open a shampoo bottle. "Hurry your shower and we will go to sleep dear." I lifted my knees up and leaned my head against my knees. "Ok sugar." He responded. I fell asleep sitting like that, it is so easy falling asleep whenever you are as tired as me. "Honey, honey." I heard Gerard whisper, and I woke up. His hair was wet and he was in his pajamas. "Gerard? Ready for bed?" I asked him. "I'm sober enough now to know what's going on sugar." He smiled. "Not fully sober, but I'm alert." He sat next to me. "Mm, let's get you to bed." I said to him. "Let's get you to bed." He hugged me. "But you-" he cut me off. "I'm sorry for having you deal with that. I'm truly ashamed of my drinking. I'm sorry." He said to me. "No it's okay, I just wanted you to be okay." I shrugged. Gerard helped me stand up and we walked downstairs, into his room. "Go ahead and head to sleep sugar, I'm gonna work on a project for a minute." Gerard kissed my head and headed over to his desk. "No come here." I held my arms out. "Shhh, I'll be in bed soon. Go to sleep." He whispered to me. I turned over and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning Gerard was asleep with his arms around my waist, his head resting on mine. I turned around and curled up against him. "Hm?" I heard Gerard. "Hi." I whispered. "Hi." He whispered back. "When did you get in bed?" I asked him. "Not to late, probably 2 am, maybe 2:30?" He said to me. "That's late." I laughed. "Maybe." He smiled and sat up. "I go home in 2 days." I looked at him. "Don't remind me." He sighed. "I wish I could just stay." I said to him, then sat up too. "Me too, but you have work." He looked at me. "If I didn't have work I would stay." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I'll just move with you." Gerard said to me. "Sorry dear, you can't right now." I smiled. "I wish." He said to me. "I know, me too. We would be able to spend Halloween together." I moved his hair out of his face. Halloween was in a week. "Stay longer." He groaned. "Sorry Gee, no can do." I said. "Adult matters." I smiled. "So lame. So lame." He shook his head. "Tell me about it. Trust me I hate how much I have to work too." I laughed. "Don't you work on your own schedule?" He asked me. "Yes, however, I scheduled things for next week. And it would be a sorta last minute cancellation. I would feel bad for those that I booked in." I responded. "Yeah I guess that makes sense. I just wish there was a way around it. Or I wish we weren't so far apart. That's what sucks. I can't drive everyday and come see you." Gerard said. "I know. I know. But someday maybe I'll move home. Or you'll move away." I responded. "I'll move there. Become some big shot musician or something." He smiled, kissing my cheek. "Not too big. You'll forget about me." I looked over at him. "Nuh uh!! Never!! You'll be our outfit planner for good. Pick all our photo shoot outfits." He said to me. "Mhm, whatever you say." I smiled. "No don't start. This isn't going anywhere. We are stuck here for the long hall k?" He pointed to me. "K" I kissed him. "I hear ya." I then added. "Loud and clear?" He looked at me waiting for a response. "Loud and clear." I responded