Simon "ghost" Riley one shots

Other side

TW- angst , suicide mentions , alcohol mentions, and over does , if this bothers you please skip this chapter

A/n- whoever is reading this I hope your okay and doing well , whatever your going through I promise you will make it through and if you ever need to talk to someone you have me to talk to, I don't alway know what to say or do but the most I can do is listen and give a little advice to the best of my ability . I'm Sending virtual hugs to you if you're doing something . Remember that you are worth it and you have great purpose in life even if you may not think it trust me you do and you are loved .

I was there for you , I comforted you , I stood by your side but yet when I needed you most you left me In the shadows when I was at my lowest. You stopped talking to me , you left me behind . You once had told me that we don't leave our own behind but look at what you did with me . It could've been better between us but you shut me out . You left me thinking I did something wrong , you left me wondering how I could fix this but in reality I had lied to myself . There was no fixing this , it was already over . I loved you so fucking much and you said you did as well but you lied and left me . I tried my hardest to make it work but nothing did . You left for a while leaving me to think alone and to wonder when you would come back to me . You were my everything and the only thing I felt extremely comfortable around and you left me in a dark place . Did I mean anything to you ? Was it all just a giant joke on me ? . I was too blinded by you , you were just like the others , a bunch of fake assholes . You said you wouldn't leave you said you wouldn't go but here you are sitting here alone reading this. If you had gotten bored of me you should've told me instead of leaving me there to fall into the deep hole I took so long to crawl out of . Don't forget the way you betrayed me , you didn't see it at the time how I felt but now I'm gone and you realized it all . Was I boring to you ? Was I just of interest to you since you needed a distraction and once you felt okay again you just left me ?
I fucking loved you and I may have no shown it but I truly did love you no matter how much you didn't think it was true . After you said you didn't need me anymore I just stopped . I hope you're happy now .

-reaper aka y/n

Simon placed the note back in his pocket  as he held your dog tags in his hand and he layed down your weapon on your grave . You had left the force , you couldn't take the pain any longer of seeing the person you once thought you loved but now wished was dead . He hurt you and you wished you hadn't fallen into his grasp . It was sad without you but you couldn't handle it anymore.

About three weeks later after you leaving you fell into a state of depression and started to drink . You couldn't handle the pain of being without him but he didn't really care as much as you did at the time . You drank away your sorrows or at least try to until you rather thought you were better off alone . You fell into a spiral and couldn't handle it any longer. You had decided it and you had overdosed in your bathroom alone at night . You were gone for good , there was no turning back but you were gone .

Your friends had found you since you gave them the key to your home if they ever needed a place to stay . When they found you dying breathlessly they immediately called for help and called 911. 
Your friends had called your military friends such as soap and Gaz and they let them know about your passing . Soap was in shambles and he had told Simon about it and Simon instantly went to his room and broke down . He wished he could go back and change things but it was too late . You were already gone .

No one will truly know how much they care about someone until they are dead. He loved you, he just couldn't see what he did and how much it truly affected you . He sat down at your grave as his eyes watered . Soap stood back with the others and looked with sorrow as they watched .
Simon placed a note on your grave before getting up and walking back past the others to the humvee . He wished he could've said it before but now it was too late .

I'm sorry

-Simon