𝗛𝗘𝝠𝗥𝗧 𝗧𝝝 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗞, sim jaeyun.

「𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗬-𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘」

Some weeks passed and everything started to fall into place... Slowly.

I was released from the hospital last week, that means that I spent my whole break in there. However, I didn't even dare to complain, at the end it was all my own earning.

The doctor told me that I was extremely lucky that I didn't suffer from immense side effects because I took the "medication" in an irregular bout.

Nevertheless, I felt terribly guilty because I put myself in this position. As a consequence, I have to go to therapy now to control how I handle my stress-level. Besides that, I learned that my panic attacks predominantly came from my unhealthy habit which means that Jaeyun was right...

Talking about Jaeyun, he's been treating me perfectly the last few weeks. In the hospital, he would visit me every day, he would even stay there overnight to make sure that I slept comfortably and didn't lack in anything. I often told him to go home and get some rest, but he'd always decline and insist on staying there.

Though he was physically there, I could sense that his mind would always wander elsewhere and he'd zone out at random times. I knew that something was wrong, but he didn't want to tell me. Knowing him, he'd think he bothers me with his problems when I have my own ones, but that was absolutely not the case.

He had always been there for me when I needed him the most, but it's so hard to do the same for him when he shut me out of his problems. But that is just Jaeyun in action, it's his typical character trait and trademark: He never tells anyone his problems or what's going on in his mind.

I love him so much that it pains me to see him like this. He has dark circles under his eyes which proof that he suffers from insomnia and just takes care of me, but not of himself. He's so incredibly selfless that it's becoming a flaw on him.

Now, in the evening, we're laying on his bed while he's hugging me, but I know that his mind is thrifting away and he's losing focus.

"Jaeyun?" I called him, placing my hand on his chest just to feel his heartbeat quicken and his body flinching. My eyes softened when I noticed that my voice startled him out of his trance.

"Yes, love?" he responded not too long after, letting out a quiet sigh.

I sat up on the bed and let my body face him while interwinding our hands, slowly I caressed his with my thumb.

"What's been bothering you?" I asked softly, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

"Huh? Nothing, what do you mean?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"You've been spacing out a lot lately. Something is not right and I can see that. You don't eat nor sleep well, you're like a walking robot and I don't like that," I confessed.

"It's just... I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now, but I don't want to trouble you," he broke the eye contact off as sadness started to linger in his eyes.

I knew it.

"You would never trouble me, don't you dare engrave that thought inside of your mind. If anything, I've been a burden to you because you constantly look out for me when you don't need to. You feed me, but you never eat yourself, you tug me in, but you never sleep yourself, you make me laugh, but your smile never reaches your eyes. Just tell me what's wrong... Don't carry your problems alone, not when you also carry mine."

"It's just..." he hesitated, blinking frequently.

"My father," his tone turned into a bitter one.

I remember. His father died the night I was in the hospital. I tried to talk about it with him because I myself know what it feels like to lose a parent, but he'd always switch the topic.