Just me & you (G!P)

C. 38

Thank you all. 

Maya and I are sitting side by side, on two different chairs, holding hands, in the hospital room they dedicated to Viviana. We couldn't be here, especially not at nine in the morning, but working at this place has some privileges. We both stare at my daughter who finally sleeps peacefully, after hours of apprehension. Fortunately, she has nothing serious, just an infection that we do not know how and where she developed, but that will pass in a few days with the effect of antibiotics. She will stay here tonight, as a precaution, but from tomorrow I can already take her home.

I turn towards Maya, grateful that she is here with me: until now she has followed every crazy emotional moment I lived. She knew how to calm down my nerves, simply being here and helping me taking Viviana to the hospital, then she has stayed with me in the waiting room; she went along with me when I practically forced her to have rough sex with me in my office, that if I think about that now I'm ashamed to just look at her face and then she hugged me in her arms when I burst out crying of relief, after they gave me Viviana's diagnosis. Now everything is quieter and she could have gone, instead she is here, squeezing my hand in silence.

M < hey...> she whispers, when she realizes that I'm looking at her.

C < thank you..> I just say and she smiles.

M < do you want to try to sleep?> she asks me.

C < I don't think I can..> I admit and Maya smiles, nodding.

M < come here..> she says, pulling me slightly from the hand. I let her drag me and I end up sitting on her lap. Maya holds me tightly to herself, sticks her nose between my hair and then breathes my smell, while I let myself go, relaxing under her touch. I cling stronger against her, putting my head on her shoulder and her strong and safe arms hold me.

M < she will be fine...> she says vaguely and I nod.

C < I was afraid as a fool..> I admit.

M < no, you were afraid like a mother...> she corrects me and I sigh, trying to convince myself. < do you want to try to tell what happened? Why do you believe it was your fault?> she asks after a while, without never stop caressing my hair.

C < I took her to the park, after school..> and I stop because I feel my tears threating to fall again.

M < yeah, like every other mother?> Maya says, making me smile. At this point I think it's better changing topic.

C < thank you for coming immediately, even if things between us are... as they are...> and I use simple present just to let her know that I'm fully aware that one emergency isn't enough and that some wild sex also isn't enough to fix our situation. Maya sighs and I know her so well that I know she is in trouble, because she does not know if she has to answer me in a polite way or in an honest way.

C < just say what do you really think...> I encourage her.

M < you called because it was an emergency and I'm ok with this. I'm ok also with some sex to ward off fears. But when I will go back my home and you will be back your house, the situation isn't changed for me...> I nod and barely sigh.

C < it is for me..>

M < what do you mean?> I breath and I know that at this point I really have to tell her all the truth.

C < I want everything with you, too. I want everything as a couple, but I also want everything as a family. I think that Viviana sees you as a reference point...> I stop and I smile thinking about yesterday.
< yesterday she kept asking why you weren't there to pick her up and she couldn't stop talking about you.. she told me a lot of conversation you two had, that I didn't know about, and she stressed me all the time because apparently I'm not good enough to play as you are.. > I raise my head to look at Maya's eyes, because I can hear her breath a little changed and I realize she has tears in her eyes. I caress her face slowly and I keep talking even if I don't know where this is going to end.