Just me & you (G!P)

C. 22 M's POV

In all my life I have never allowed myself to dream so much, even in the simplest things. When I allowed myself to think about relationships, which happened when I spent so much time with Andrea and Riccardo, I reflected above all on the union of thoughts, of souls. Most of the time then I believed that having a stable relationship was basically a convenience, because it meant being able to have sex with the same person all the time, when you needed. But no thought or desire of mine could ever go beyond these thoughts, not even based on the most concrete details. Only being together with Carina I realized how much I missed the opportunity to share the slightest things: now if I did not have Carina I would not miss someone to talk to, nor someone with whom to make love permanently, but I would miss the Sunday afternoons spent around doing the fake tourists, the daily dialogues at dinner, the choice of the film in the evening. The thing that I would miss most, however, would be the chatter under the duvet on Sunday morning, when we can allow it. And that's exactly what we're doing now, even though we've postponed our habit for a few hours. Last night, in fact, Carina went out with her friends for dinner and then they spent the evening in a newly opened restaurant, getting drunk. She called me so at four in the morning asking to go and pick her up, a task to which I responded more than willingly, thinking that at least she did not take a taxi alone in those conditions. Arriving at my house we spent an hour in the bathroom, with her pouring all the alcohol ingested into the toilet and then another half hour in which she tried to undress me and I who, a little laughing, a little not, tried to resist her sexual assault. Finally then she fell asleep, but given the time when we finally closed our eyes, it is already a miracle that at ten thirty am we woke up.

After a romantic cuddling session, Carina got up to go and prepare some hot chocolate for both of us and then we will watch the movie we have just finished choosing, directly from the PC, under the duvet. While Carina gets up wearing only a shirt and panties, I observe her and I feel like the happiest and luckiest person on earth. Not only because I find her the most beautiful woman in the universe, but because this fantastic woman, full of light despite everything, has found balance together with a complex and shadowy person like me. There is understanding between us, there is dialogue and it is nice to be able to open up about everything, or almost. The only topic that so far seems taboo is about children: there was a period of about twenty days in which Carina often suffered from nausea and I had already launched my fantasies much further, while she, at every hint of possible pregnancy, replied acidly that it is her job, that she knew better than anyone else what the symptoms were and that she was tired of any other insinuation. The reality of the facts proved her right, because after a while Carina had her period, thus denying any possibility of pregnancy. I do not say that I was hurt and objectively I know that it was neither the time nor the way in which I wanted to have a child with Carina: not only I do not feel ready, but so far I had never even remotely thought about the subject, let alone seeing myself already with a stroller and a newborn in the middle of the bed. Without considering that we do not even share the same bed every night, continuing to live each one at home. The sickness of Carina, however, gave me all of a sudden the opportunity to really think about it and I found myself confiding in Andrea, also talking to her about the difficulty I had in talking about it together with Carina, who seemed to close the topic with large walls of cement and iron in a very cold and rigid way.

I hear the noises coming from my kitchen and I find it fantastic that she feels comfortable in my spaces, which I thought I would never share with anyone. When Carina returns, she finds me with a blissful, almost stupid smile.

C < what are you doing? > she asks me, smiling. I reciprocate the gesture and shrug my shoulders, putting myself better to sit.

M < I was thinking of you ..> Carina bursts out laughing, handing me the mug of steaming hot chocolate, which I immediately put on the bedside table next to me. I wait for Carina to do the same, then I take her by the wrist, making her sit astride me.