LOVE UNDERCOVER

Special Chapter: Thyme POV

I kiss him.
I have never done that before.

Yes, Kavin Kittiyangkul had - on more than one occasion- pressed his lips on mine in the past. Usually, when he was extremely drunk. Once or twice when he was unintentionally high (he really should stop eating every brownie he finds especially at college parties).

But 1) Kavin never seems to remember kissing anyone once he sobers up.

2) I have never kissed him. Never started it.

Until now.

I have my excuses.

1) I really am so drunk. I am close to 30 now and no longer have the iron tolerance I had 15 years ago. The tequila was definitely messing with my head.

2) Weren't we supposed to act like a couple? Don't couples kiss? So I kissed him.

Except, I don't think I am acting this very moment.

His lips on mine feel very real.

The sweet chocolate and the bitter alcohol linger on his impossibly soft mouth. It was addicting, like nothing else I've ever tasted. My mouth wanted more of him.

Another thing I realize: This is why everyone with a pulse had a crush on Kavin.

When we were teens, I didn't know a single soul who saw Kavin and didn't yearn for him at least for a day.

I was probably the only person immune to his charms.

He was my close friend.
Hell, maybe even my best friend.
My bro.

I didn't think of him that way.

Of course, I know how outstanding he was and is.
Handsome. Wise. Charming. Effortlessly witty. Can wear a garbage bag as if it were couture. And of course he has always had a stupidly chiseled body thanks to his dedication to swimming and martial arts.

I would not be best friends with someone who wasn't amazing. I'm Thyme for goodness sakes. Even I know I am spoiled.

I deserved to have someone like Kavin beside me. Right?

But then he left without even a goodbye and it felt like a wake up call.

Maybe I considered him to be my closest friend but obviously he didn't feel the same about me.

Kavin disappearing was my safe space disappearing.

Truths I haven't told anyone:

1) I tried everything to find him. I tried for a whole year before realizing I had to respect that he didn't want to be found.

2) I didn't go with Gorya to the US because I didn't want to leave Bangkok. I gave a lot of reasons why but mainly I was scared Kavin would return and I wouldn't be there when he did.

My hand slides down the length of Kavin's torso. It hits his hip and I could feel his skin instead of his shirt and I feel the overwhelming urge to let my fingers slip underneath his clothes.
I feel the urge to use my tongue and not just my lips.
I feel the urge to ask him if I could kiss more than just his mouth.
Nothing too much - maybe his chin or his nose or his eyelids or if he wanted to maybe just a little of his neck.

But as I wrestle with all these thoughts I feel myself tumble down towards the daybed, my head hits some of the wooden frame.

The pain cuts through.
The fog somehow lifts.
And my brain began saying: the mission the mission the mission the mission the mission...
over and over.

So I muster all my willpower to get the fuck up and send whatever we had to Boss. It had to be enough because I couldn't do this anymore.

I wanted an Advil.
And a Gatorade.
And to just stop doing things couples do.

Because now I have new truths I haven't told anyone:

1) I am wishing fervently Kavin still forgets kissing people when he's drunk.

2) Every cell in my body hopes Kavin gets drunk again as soon as possible and kisses me.

3) I am not sure I am immune to Kavin anymore.

But this is probably just the tequila talking.

I am sure that's just it.

I drank way too much after all.
Hell, am so drunk I'm making lists!
Who does that?

I am sure all will be just as it was before once I sober up.

But first, let me lie down beside Kavin.

I need a nap.

So warm.

- - -
Author's Note

This is an unplanned chapter.
Granted, I have a very rough outline but I really wasn't planning on a first person POV anywhere in this story.

But I just felt like it.

Anyone watch Bright's interview?
I loved it. But it also made me fear that's there's no new BW series coming.
No reason why. Sometimes our anxieties have no logic.

On a lighter note, have my tickets for Shooting Star! I am excited! 💕💕💕

Also new TSwift album in a few hours!!!