Everything You've Come To Regret

31 | utterly insane

October 28–31, 2015

I wanna make a simple point about peace and love
But in a sexy way where it's not obvious

⋆ ˚ ° ° ˚⋆

The march didn't last long as we arrived there quite late. Still, Kat wanted to make a toast to her 'new life'. The shouting and music had seemed to be what she just needed.

We shared a cluster of embarrassing stories as we patiently waited for our drinks to be served in a small dinner, away from the crowd. Disco lights illuminated the booths and the retro posters of the entire room, as the elevated windows granted us a full view of the brick buildings.

"Y'know, I meant it about Alex. He's still an asshole to me, but I like him," Kat said after slouching into the backboard of her seat.

I beamed back at her, relieved. "You do?"

"Hmm. I like the way he looks at you."

"I'm glad you think so. I just wanted you to see what I see."

She narrowed her eyes at me, plastering that signature smile of hers.

"Goddamn, you make me believe in love again."

My lips turned into a closed smile. "C'mon, don't say that. I'm sure Emma's blaming herself right now. She must be at that weird friend of hers rambling about you."

"I dunno," she grabbed her napkin, folding it anxiously.

I'd never known Emma without Kat, and honestly, they had been the ones to make me believe in the soulmate idea. Imagining one without the other felt unreal.

"I guess I just want to be by myself for a while," she went on. "It seemed to work for you, but I'm quite scared of the consequences."

"I'm only leaving in February, we'll have it figured out by then. You know you can stay at mine."

She nodded weakly, forcing a smile when she met my gaze. "It wasn't in your plans to deal with me."

"Hey," I grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly, knowing full well she would kill me if I hugged her out of the blue. "You've been the best friend I could ask for. See? You're here with me today. Jane's a bitch," that part made her laugh, making me smile widely as I went on, "I haven't seen Oliver since the wedding and Emma hasn't called me in weeks. But it's fine. I wanted to see you, not them."

She wiped off her wet cheeks with the sleeve of her green sweatshirt, sniffling. "Alright, alright. No need to make me cry."

Chuckling softly at her red face, I squeezed her palm once again.

"I'll miss you," she said after a deep breath, her brimming eyes mirroring mine.

Tears were contagious.

"I'll miss you too."

If Alex was my romantic soulmate, then maybe she was my platonic one.

❋❋❋

The worst thing about my work was Luke. But other than this git following me from room to room every time he had the opportunity, it was great. Fulfilling even. I hated how my perception had changed just because of one man.

I used to look forward to the days spent at the museum. Now they filled me with dread and a certain sense of anxiety.

"Fuck me. Your arse in that skirt..."

I swivelled around at the sound of that voice, ready to slap him.

He was taking two steps backwards as I took two forwards. His eyes roamed over my body, checking me out. It just made me want to throw up, as always.