Everything You've Come To Regret

13 | us and them

March 23 - 24, 2015

It might start different but it ends up the same
One minute, you're casually speaking
The next it all goes up and you pour fuel on the flame

⋆ ˚ ° ° ˚⋆

"So Paul and I broke up... a few weeks ago," I explained, twirling the straw absently in my glass.

"Are you serious?" Jane asked, always overreacting.

"Well, yeah."

"Why?"

I sighed, just wanting to get this over with. "Lots of different reasons."

Emma rubbed my back softly, while Kat placed her hand on mine. I'd told them before coming here, but they pretended they knew nothing about it. They'd both guessed anyway.

"I'm so sorry baby," Emma said, pouting at me.

"I'm alright, I'll just try to move on now."

I knew a part of me already did.

Kat called for the barman and ordered us another round of drinks, but I stood on my feet before I could change my mind.

"I need to go."

"Come on, five more minutes," Emma begged, her disappointed eyes looking at me.

I pecked her cheek and gave the girls a quick hug.

"I'll stay longer the next time, um?"

After hanging out with them for hours, I needed some time alone. I needed to sleep especially, but none of them seemed to care about that.

"Give him a call. You both were the best couple out there," Jane advised me, sipping at her reddish cocktail.

I felt my smile vanish as I rubbed my temples, uncomfortable. 

"Jane, I told you we're over."

"What are you going to do alone? I'm worried about you, y'know."

I bit my lip, realising maybe she was right. I didn't need anyone to be happy, but I felt lonely. Sensing my unease, Kat hugged me once more and whispered in my ear "Don't."

It could have been a threat, especially with her cold nature, but I knew she was here to help me make the best decisions. I nodded and waved at them as I turned on my heels and headed to the pub's doors.

The glowing lights of the street looked like eyes following my every move. I finally exhaled when my back hit the taxi's backseat.

My phone kept lightning with every call and message. Four and twenty to be exact. I hadn't opened them, still feeling bitter from Alex's comments at Miles' party. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see the smoke blurring his face as he held his cigarette in the air. His dark gaze too, different from the ones plastered on his face in Scotland.

It was like he had changed in two days, and yet, he'd tried to contact me for a week. He was a mystery, and I didn't know if I had the strength to explore his changing moods.

My own thoughts were still spiralling as I entered the building and walked towards the lift. I was still thinking if I should call him back when my phone buzzed in my purse. I groaned, hoping it was just Kat or someone else. It was Miles' number, making me relax immediately.

"Hello?" I drawled, jamming my finger into the glistening button of the fourth floor.

"Oh, you're not dead."

The voice sounded relieved and amused at the same time, but it was definitely not Miles'.

"I'm not," I muttered, watching the doors closing.