If I Lie : Book 2

59. Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time pt. 2

Josslyn POV

We stood in an abandoned warehouse, much like the one where all the shit started at, it was close enough in appearance to the one where Alex had kidnapped and raped both Eliza and Ashley, I suppose I had a flare for the dramatic, wanting to set the scene of where Casey would die. Where his wife betrayed him for my sister, Eliza didn't seem opposed to my choice of location, not to mention there wasn't civilization for the next four miles, and the acoustics in the building were musically sound, of course, with that being said this wasn't my torture session but I was ready to help in any way I could. 

Eliza and I sat in the car, sharing a joint together as she looked out into the rearview mirror at our target, contemplative, she sighed and takes a bigger inhale than I would suggest. "So he's the baby daddy?" I asked, not so much inquisitively as I wanted. 

"Yes," 

"And he must die?"

"Yes. I can't go back on my word now, he must die for what he's done, he's raped my wife while she was drugged out of her mind and thought this was the best way to get back at us. When are men going to understand that getting us pregnant isn't the smartest way to ruin our lives?"

I thought about Eliza's statement more than what I was comfortable to, I itched so badly underneath knowing that I was with child, more importantly, from my own husband after we both agreed we didn't want children. I knew I wasn't going to keep this baby but in no way should Alan have made me feel about even thinking left and right of it. It was okay if I so desired to ponder on the decision of having a child even if I ultimately knew the answer was going to be "No", as always. 

I always admired Eliza and Ashley for keeping their children, especially since they were all born out of rape and it was not a chosen thing to happen to them. Eliza may have been too late to terminate them successfully but it wasn't like a quiet adoption wasn't possible. I suppose she looked at Ashley and thought "This is who I want to start a family with no matter what" and that it didn't matter much after seeing how Ashley wanted to keep hers too.  So they made this big family, they made love and it grew so wide and only kept getting bigger than anyone would have guessed, they took the original despicable curses of these children and turned them into blessings and I couldn't be a happier aunt in the world. 

I just know I love killing and traveling the world as much as the next assassin and a baby wouldn't be the sustainable option to living this life I love so much. I would be forced to look after the baby while Alan is away killing, waiting for him to come home, walk in the door and kiss him with a baby on my hip and it would kill me. 

Me loving a child came to the extent of taking my nieces and nephews out and treating them like my own child for the day or a few days. 

I truly believe that if Eliza had just gave the kids to me or Vera more often or I can't believe I'm saying this but even Mom, she would have had more time to reconnect and bond with Ashley, they never would have been in this affair. They would have had one on one time as wives instead of being mothers and business partners. If Eliza had taken out just a little more time to cater to Ashley on a more personal level; to check in about the baby. But she hadn't. Eliza was always cold, never knew how to approach people warmly without crossing boundaries. 

She had the social manners to that of a caveman but made up for her brutality by overcompensating with gifts and sexual favors and her sunny and gay disposition. And she loved Ashley, but she never knew how to check in emotionally other than giving aftercare. 

I took a puff of the joint and nodded. "Fucking men." I laughed. 

We heard a groan. "He's up," 

"Ready?" I asked.