The Sun That Kissed The Flower

An Inescapable Fate

Kira's POV

While the morning slowly turned into the afternoon, Hannah and I ordered something for lunch when little Laine got into a fiery crying spout. Although we did everything to pacify her she wasn't having any of it. So for an hour we took turns soothing her back hoping it was a burp, or if she had gone to the bathroom and her diaper needed changed, or if she was hungry or sleepy.

Since Hannah was a nurse it was amazing to see her deduce what was happening. She was like a detective hoping to solve a mystery. She was still alert and attentive to Laine and eventually found her groove. It was amazing... I couldn't even imagine being in the position she was in right now. She looked more like a superhero as the days past.

Even though I didn't have the baby and didn't feed or attend to her as much as Hannah did I still felt exhausted. When I realized how I was feeling I tried supporting Hannah more but she insisted I focus on my work... so I only helped her here and there. I took over some nights when it became too tiring for her to do by herself which was understandable. And after 2 weeks I treated Hannah to a spa appointment.

During this time I thought a lot about my own life... having Laine by my side made me realize how grateful I was for being alive in this moment. No matter how much pain there was in the past... there were many things in my life right now that were truly the greatest blessing...

Whenever I thought about the missing pieces of my past I realized that even though there were probably things I would never remember I refused to let any of it define who I was today... I didn't want a moment in my past to change who I became today.

The painful memories. The happy memories. What I can and can't recall... I'm going to just let things be. I'm going to embrace and acknowledge the parts of me that can't remember... the part of me that also wants to grow and live in the present as much as humanly possible. Laine is a small reminder of the gift I have right now... and that's time.

I have time to be with the people I love. I have time to process everything around me. I have time to transform the pain into something healing.

The more I thought about it... the more Ren appeared in my thoughts. I wondered what else we could have done for each other. Since I lost my memories of him while he still had them. Since his father's arrogance and cruelty caused not only my accident but also his son's misery.

And although we spent 12 years apart I was not conscious of those years. Ren had to live without me and I had to live not knowing there was a piece inside of my heart that had been forever changed by a young man I definitely once thought would be my forever...

Then, there was the feeling I had been living with since we parted... a longingness to see him even though our connection had been severed again.

There was something inside of my heart I could no longer ignore... and along the way I had figured out the reason why I felt as uneasy as I did when I found out was because there was something I was feeling for Ren and it wasn't just because of the past. It wasn't because of what we once were. It was because meeting him as though it was for the first time... I had already begun liking him.

So I wondered if I would need to keep these feelings to myself even though they were confusing and complicated. I didn't know if right now would be the most appropriate to tell him what I was thinking because of everything that had happened between us. And maybe he had stopped caring about me after everything he had been through too? After all of these years waiting for a love that was never guaranteed to work out. After finding out the truth behind my accident and after telling me he never wanted to see me again...