True Disaster ✔️

Thirty Seven

"it's all been leading to this."
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When I wake up this morning, I thought I was pulling Willow into my chest more and cuddling into her, but it was just one of my pillows.

One of my fucking pillows instead of the girl I love.

So, when I saw that she wasn't here I sat up from my bed and went downstairs to check if she is there, but I just saw Melody watching TV.

I asked her where Willow was, and Melody said she left but we will see her again soon.

So, then I ran to my room and now I am sitting on the side of my bed holding a letter that says my name on it.

I don't even know how to feel.

I want to feel angry and pissed off, but I feel like my heart just drops to my stomach and not in a good way.

I rip open the letter and unfold the paper that was inside.

Grayson,

So long story short I am going to school in London. I found out last night before you came into my dressing room. I have been waiting to get this offer since Ms. Primel mentioned it.

I never liked California. My dad is an asshole, my best friend and brother died. I need to heal from both of those deaths. The only time I actually felt happy here was when I spend time with you and Melody.

The only reason I would stay in California is for you, Melody, and my mom. But I got a Ballet offer in London and I couldn't pass it up.

This may be the place to heal me.

But don't worry, I will visit. I'll come during the Holiday and sometime during the summer. I don't want to stop talking to you or Melody. You guys are always going to be my forever.

Grayson, you were always my forever. In middle school you were, when I first officially met you, and when we started hanging out.

No matter what, you were always my forever and still are. I will never forget you or Melody. You guys have left your mark on me. Permanently. My heart belongs to you, and it always will. No matter if I meet a new person or fall in love, my heart belongs to you.

But I am leaving for London tomorrow. Don't call me or text me until tomorrow night or else I will just come straight back to you.

Also, this time, I want you to call me and text me every day. I want to still be in your life and Melody's life. I hated not talking to you and her when I lived in New York. I know it might be harder since I'll be more than a thousand miles away, but I don't care, I still want to try and talk to you as much as I can.

I love you, Grayson.

I've been in love with you since were teenagers and I realized weeks ago that I was still in love with you, even when we weren't talking for years.

It's always been you.

Thank you for making me hate life a little less and love it a little more.

Willow <3

When I am done reading the note my chest feels empty.

How could she do this again?

After everything we have been through together, she upped and left me again.

I thought she was going to stay.

I thought that this was it and this was going to be our ending.

But I was wrong.

I read her note and saw how she stills wants me in her life but that's too hard. I can't do that.

I need to be with her, but I can't leave California. Melody's life is here, and my mom is here, everyone I love is here.

But Willow, the girl I am in love with is going to live at least five thousand miles away.

Plus, I'm not stable enough to move there if I wanted to.

I just wished she would have made things easier and stayed here in California.

My mind is racing, and I can't even think straight.

That's what Willow Cole doesn't to me.

She fucks with my head.