Even if You're With Him ✔

Chapter 37

Hope you have your reading glasses ready. I think this is the longest chapter I have written.

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Jimin composes himself, ignoring the small flip of his stomach. "Now you're just being ridiculous."

"No, you're the one being ridiculous!" Jungkook shouts. A light knock interrupts them and a nervous voice belonging to one of their interns is heard from the other side. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have to set up for the next meeting."

"We're not done talking about this," Jungkook mutters, grabbing Jimin by the wrist and dragging him out of the conference room to the nearest office.

"You walk out of my life as if I was nothing. Never bothered to call or apologize for what you did, and then just waltz back in as if you own the fucking place. But let me tell you something, you had no right to do that!" Jungkook shoves Jimin down to sit on a guest chair. "You were thinking about yourself and your grief but what about me?! You weren't the only one who lost a baby that day, Jimin, that was my baby too!"

Jimin looks down in shame. "And then you come back as if nothing happened as if all those years you and I spent together, in love with each other, never happened. You have any idea how much that sucks?"

"I don't know what you expect me to do." Jimin mutters.

"Something! Anything! But stop acting like a fucking robot as if everything that happened while you were gone doesn't affect you."

Jimin flinches and stares up at Jungkook confused. "You want me to be mad about you marrying Seokjin? What's the point in that?"

"There is no fucking point in it for you because it's not about you! It's about me and giving me some sort of satisfaction that I was not the only one going through hell when you broke up with me," Jungkook grunts. "It's not fair that while I was here picking up the pieces you left behind, you went around opening your legs to random strangers the first chance you got."

The bitter words seeped in through Jimin's soul as he blinked back his tears. "Okay," he shakes as he sits up on his seat. "The first year away I would only leave the house to help with transactions and meetings. When I wasn't doing that, I was in my bedroom floor being the pathetic piece of shit I was, going through our old notes and conversations while emptying buckets of ice cream. Throughout that first year I purchased seven tickets back to Seoul in an attempt come back and beg on my knees for you to take me back."

"Why didn't you?"

"I was a coward. I was scared that you already hated me and convinced myself that you would not want to see me anyways. Considering how our interactions have gone since I came back, I was right," Jimin sighs. "On the seventh ticket, I had gone as far as packing my bags and driving to the airport. I bumped into Yoongi there. He had gone back to check on Taehyung and me, and that is when he told us that you and Seokjin had decided to take your marriage seriously and move on together. I realized, I had no right to you and that you were better off with Seokjin, so I went back to the apartment instead. That is when the sleeping around started. Does that make you feel a bit better?" Jimin asked genuinely hoping it did.

Jungkook looks down at the other, unsure on how to react. He thought that hearing that the break-up was harsh on Jimin as well would bring him some sort of comfort, but it did not. He shook his head in response and Jimin looked back at him apologetically. "I'm sorry to hear that. Sorry that it seemed like I did not care and that I was thriving in the aftermath of what happened to us. I don't know what your experience after was like, but I was a mess. I could never be able to walk away from a ten-year relationship and just magically be okay, but I thought if I acted like I did then it would hurt a little less eventually. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I hope we can find a way to be civil towards each other for the sake of our mutual friends."