But to love is to hurt. (Criminal Minds)

365 Days of Grace

JJ wandered down the hall to see her wife standing in the door frame of Grace's bedroom. JJ came up behind her saying "Honey do you know what time it is?"

"Our baby's first birthday in... 3... 2... 1..." she whisper yelled, "Happy Birthday Roselyn Grace!"

JJ rested her chin on Emily's shoulder "Hard to believe."

Emily nodded sadly "I've just missed so much."

JJ watched as Emily wiped her silent tears and it broke JJs heart she backed away going to stand in front of Emily. JJ whipped her tears with her thumb saying "Baby, talk to me."

"I just... I feel like I've missed so much."

JJ said "Oh honey, no more of this guilt. You are here now and that's all that matters."

Emily nodded looking down at her feet.

JJ grabbed a hold of her wife's hand saying come with me. JJ leads Emily over to the crib and they just looked down to see Grace sleeping.

JJ said "Look. Look at her. Do you see it?"

Emily nodded, smiling lightly "She sleeps like I do."

JJ smiled saying softly "Yeah she does."

The two stayed like that for a long time before JJ walked out of the room returning with her laptop in hand. JJ and Emily sat in the nursery and JJ opened up the laptop. She turned to Emily saying "Open the file called dear Emily"

Emily looked over at her wife questioningly before clicking it.

Up popped a video of JJ and Grace. Emily watched in the wonder of a mashup of videos and pictures of JJ and Grace. JJ had secretly taken pictures of her bump from the moment Grace was conceived to the time she gave birth. Then it switched to just pictures of Grace from when she was minutes old up until the day after Emily returned. The last-minute or so was the one that warmed her heart the most. It started with the security footage of Grace's first steps and ended with a clip of JJ sitting on the couch Grace in her lap telling Em how much she loves her.

Emily looked over at JJ with tears in her eyes "When... how?"

"I started it so she could see herself grow then I made it to send to you on her first birthday while you were quote on quote dead."

Emily kissed her temple "Thank you."

The two woke up side by side JJ was leaning on Emily's shoulder and Emily's head was against hers. The two woke up facing the crib where their sweet Grace was standing looking at them. Emly and JJ laughed lightly.

JJ said "Well good morning birthday girl."

Emily stood up, cracking most of the joints in her body she picked Grace up kissing her cheek tickling her belly.

JJ said, "How about we take this angel back to our bed and cuddle."

Emily smiled lifting Grace into the air "That sounds amazing! Doesn't it Gracie girl? Yeah! Mama can't feel her body. No! No, she can't. Mama definitely messed something up."

JJ laughed at her wife saying "I'll call the chiropractor tomorrow."

Emily said, "Bless you!"

Later that afternoon the whole BAU gang was gathered in the Jareau-Prentiss kitchen. They had spent the day at the house playing games and passing Grace around showering her with hugs and kisses. There was a knock on the door and Emily opened it to see Elizabeth standing there. "Hey, Mom."

"Where is my birthday girl?"

Emily laughed "She is in her highchair about to eat cake."

"Is Declan here?"

"No, he's at school. He really wanted to be here but they had a huge field trip planned but we saw him yesterday and he told her Happy Birthday then and he called us this morning."

"He's a good big brother?" Elizabeth asked, walking towards the noise.
"The best!" Emily smiled

Elizabeth walked in kissing JJs cheek "When do your parents arrive Jennifer?"

JJ said "Any Minute!"

"JENNY!"

JJ laughed saying "In fact, they just got here!"

Sandy quickly walked in followed by Dom and Emily.

Elizabeth and Sandy shook hands and Elizabeth asked "Are the boys not coming?"

Dom shook his head "No. Sadly both the boys have a cold and we don't want to risk the baby."

While Elizabeth and Sandy butted heads at first they have become good friends through the years.

Garcia said, "I believe little miss is ready for her cake!"

The group gathered around as JJ placed a smash cake in front of Grace who quickly dove in taking a fistful of cake putting it into her mouth. The whole group lagged and awed as little Grace destroyed her cake. After she was finished the group moved to the living room. JJ picked her up, carried her up the stairs and Eily worked on cleaning the aftermath.

Sandy helped Emily saying "I'm so glad you are home for this."

Emily said proudly "Me too."

"She's beautiful."

"Yeah they are," Emily said with a fond smile

"Emily, I just want to apologize again for how I reacted when you first arrived back."

Emily put her hand on Sandy's shoulder "The only one who should apologize is me."

They hugged and Sandy pulled away "How did your Mom take it?"

"Surprisingly better than I thought but I think she still has some things to say."

Sandy said motherly "Emily. Just talk to her."

Emily laughed saying "Thank you Sandy but our relationship just isn't like that."

"She may surprise you," Sandy said leaving Emily in the kitchen.

Elizabeth walked in saying "I remember your first birthday. I think we were in Paris. You got this look on your face the minute you turned one and I swear it was like you knew everything in the world."

Emily had never heard her Mom speak like this. Emily said, "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For dying."

Elizabeth put down the dishtowel turning to her daughter "Honey I'm not mad! I was scared out of my mind. I was scared that I had missed the opportunity to tell you how PROUD I am of you. How much I love you!" Elizabeth wrapped her daughter in a hug kissing her forehead saying "Come on! Let's go sit with your family!"

They walked in the living room to see everyone twisted in a large game of twister while Grace sat on Rossi's bouncing lap giggling.

A moment to freeze and frame.