Unedited*
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The next few weeks had passed quickly, and before I knew it- Thanksgiving was right around the corner. Our finals were approaching and in the last few days before the holiday break, I was rushing to complete my assignments before I headed back home. Zen and the girls were buried in their books as well, that I hadn't seen much of them unless it was passing each other in the kitchen for another cup of coffee or during meal breaks. Harry had insisted on still coming over in the recent days despite how busy we both were. Things had changed between us since he had taken me out to see New York, but it was good. Sometimes too good to be true.
Everything felt easy with him and we had fallen into the comfort of each other's company. We unknowingly established a routine, where I went to school, work, came home and Harry would meet me for dinner before we buried ourselves in school work. The night usually ended with us rolling around in bed, and more often these days- staying up talking until well past our bed time.
Today was no different, and I peeked up from the English text book on my desk to glance at him across the room. Currently, he was lying across my bed on his stomach and leaning on his elbows as he read his textbook. His sweats had slid down and his white t-shirt had ridden around his hips, exposing the band of his boxers. His tongue poked out to the side like it usually did when he was in deep concentration. I suppressed a grin when he wrote notes in his notebook, his forehead creasing in deep thought. As if feeling my eyes on him, he looked up and caught me staring.
"What's so funny?"
I smirked and shrugged, tucking my leg underneath me on the chair. "Nothing."
"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow at me and sat up on his knees, his hair falling in his face. It had grown longer in the past few weeks and he probably needed a trim but I wouldn't be the one to tell him that. His long hair was growing on me. "Why you staring then?"
"I like to stare at pretty things." I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he rolled his eyes, snorting as he threw his legs over the side of my bed.
"Pretty! Aha!" He scoffed, standing and sauntering towards me. I looked up at him when he stopped in front of me and he leaned down, his hand resting on the back of my chair as he smiled. "I think pretty is you, baby girl."
I rolled my eyes, a blush heating my cheeks and playfully shoved his face away with the palm of my hand. "Clearly, you haven't looked at yourself in the mirror. You're the pretty one."
"Hmm," He shook his head and leant down, pecking my lips before standing and running his fingers through the loose strands of my hair hanging around my face. "Let's agree to disagree." He smirked, then looked down at the textbook still open on my desk. "You almost done?"
Glancing down at my notes and the open text, I sighed and shook my head. "I've read it twice already but I guess I'm as done as I'm going to get. I'll just have to wing it and try to remember everything for the in-class essay."
"I'm sure you'll do fine." He closed my book for me and grabbed my hand to pull me up from the chair. "Let's do something. My brain is going to fry if I look at another chemistry problem."
I scrunched my nose, thankful I wasn't taking chem this semester. "What do you want to do?"
He shrugged and looked around my rooms. "I don't know, anything really. We could watch a movie, eat, sleep, fuck," he wiggled his eyebrows and I stifled a laugh. "We're both heading home tomorrow night for the break so I want to do something with you before we do."
"Is Harry going to miss me?" I teased, grinning from ear to ear as he scowled and rolled his eyes at me.
"Piss off," he responded and I laughed out loud when he turned on his heel and headed towards my bedroom door. "I'm going to make popcorn and put on a movie. You can either join me or not."
"I was kidding!" I called behind him and followed him out. Zen was sitting in the living room in her pajamas and glasses, a notebook in her lap and a textbook on the couch beside her. This was the longest I'd seen her in the last few days so I plopped myself on the couch beside her while Harry rummaged through the kitchen.
"How's homework?" I asked and she groaned, closing her notebook and tossing it on the carpet in front of us. Based off the way she threw her head back and stretched her arms behind her, I could guess not too well.
"It's fucking ass." She said, then sat up and blinked. "I don't even know what day it is anymore."
"Its Tuesday!" Harry called from the kitchen and she rolled her eyes.
"Thanks Harry," she yelled back then took a long look at me. "Has he even left the apartment? He's been here every night."
"I went home and showered," Harry answered before I could. "I have also been in class during the days. I haven't been here the entire time."
My face heated as Zen arched an eyebrow at me. He had been here a lot and now thinking of it, I hoped the girls weren't bothered by it. It didn't occur to me to consider the fact he'd been in their apartment too and they may have wanted the space. " I'm sorry, has he been bugging you? I can ask him to go home if you want the space and privacy."
She waved a hand in dismissal and shook her head. "No, it's cool. I was just noticing he's been spending his time here a lot. Almost like a boyfriend." She said quietly to keep Harry from eavesdropping and gave me a pointed look.
I knew what she meant. Things between Harry and I felt more like a relationship everyday, that it was confusing the lines of our friends with benefits agreement. At first, the change scared the shit out of me because I feared Harry would do a one eighty on me but that hadn't been the case. He's been consistent, and has been sweet to me ever since our 'date'. I haven't mentioned the change in our relationship, in fear it would scare him away but surely he has to notice it. He was acting like a boyfriend and he was damn good at it. I didn't understand his fear of committing to me- he was doing a great job already. But nonetheless, I kept my thoughts to myself. I had decided I was going to let things progress on their own.
I shrugged nonchalantly and picked at a gray string hanging from the cushion of the couch. "He's not my boyfriend. Friends can hangout a lot."
"Mhmm," Zen hummed and I risked a glance to see she wasn't buying my act one bit. "Friends hangout, alright."
"Just like you and Liam." I pointed out and she immediately dropped the conversation. Her and Liam had grown closer in the recent weeks. I was convinced something happen between them that she hadn't told me. It was like an invisible string connected them anytime they were in the same room together.
"Right, just like us." She commented, then stood from the couch and bent down to pick up her books on the floor. "Well, I'm gonna get out of your way and go to my room."
"You can stay and hang with us," Harry said as he walked out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of freshly made popcorn. "We were going to watch a movie."
"No, I'll pass. I'm exhausted and Liam may come over." She avoided my eyes when she mentioned Liam and I sucked my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing. Something was definitely going on there.
"Alright, keep the door open. " Harry joked and Zen threw a pillow at him before walking out of the room. Harry managed to save the popcorn from falling but it wasn't without a gasp and fumble from him. "Christ, she almost made me drop the popcorn. I would of killed her."
I giggled and grabbed a piece as he placed the bowl on the coffee table. "You would of had it coming though."
"Please, you and I both know something is going on with them." He rolled his eyes and grabbed the TV remote to switch it to Netflix. "Anyways, enough about them. What should we watch?"
"A scary movie." I suggested and his head swung around to give me a wide eyed stare. "Not a fan?"
"Well I don't love them." He said briefly and shook his head. "I'll pass."
"Fine, what about a rom com?"
He twisted his lips and shook his head. "Nah. Too cheesy."
"Action?"
"Too loud."
"Documentary?"
"Too boring."
I sighed and threw my hands up. "What would you like to watch then, Harry?
He twisted his lips, amusement lining his mouth. "I'm not opposed to a little romance and suspense."
"So, a thriller?"
"Sure, let's see what he find."
It took us over twenty minutes to scroll through the movies and finally settle on a new movie added to Netflix called 'Rebecca' after watching the trailer. Harry got up and dimmed the lights of the living room before hitting play and we were engrossed in the movie for the next 2 hours. I often caught myself stealing glances at Harry though when he'd gasp or mumble to himself during certain parts, that I found it cute. I was learning small little quirks about him everyday and the more I learned, the more I was beginning to like him. It was dangerous territory but at this point, I was well too invested in this relationship him and I had to throw in the towel now.
Towards the end of the movie, my eyes were heavy with sleep and I shifted on the couch to lean my head against Harry's shoulder. He instinctively shifted and moved me into the crevice of his arm as he wrapped it around my shoulder. His hand rubbed my arm briefly before moving to rest on the back of the couch and I sighed, letting my eyelids fall shut for a few minutes.
It wasn't until I felt Harry move awhile later that I blinked my eyes open and caught the end credits of the movie. I sat up and looked around the room before settling my gaze on Harry. "What time is it?"
"Almost ten." He said and stood up before turning off the TV. "You knocked out in the last twenty minutes."
"Damn, sorry. How did it end?"
He explained the ending to me as we moved from the living room to my bedroom, and settled into my bed. Based off the way Harry was excited explaining the movie, I could tell he enjoyed it and the twist at the end hadn't been what he was expecting.
"Didn't see that coming either," I commented after he finished his explanation and tucked my hand under my cheek as I got comfortable on my pillow. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"It was a nice distraction." He said, sighing as he sunk deeper under the blankets and moved to cross his arm behind his head. "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow."
I gazed up at him, watching his eyes focus on the ceiling above us and noticing the tightness of his jaw. I knew he was anxious for tomorrow and he had been hiding it. I leaned up and rested my head on my hand. "You nervous to head home?"
"Yeah," he admitted on a deep breath. "I can't wait to hear the shit my parents are gonna spew."
"Maybe it'll be different this year," I tried to convince him and he snorted. "Or not?"
"Unless I suddenly have new parents, then no." He said dismissively, his teeth sinking into his lip before meeting my gaze. "What about you? You excited?"
"Yes and no." I answered honestly and rolled over onto my back, looking up at the same ceiling he was previously studying. "I'm exited to see my parents, my brother, and niece. I'm exited to see my relatives." I swallowed, the anxiety creeping up on me as I thought about my cousin. "I'm not excited to see Karley. Or to have my family defend her when I treat her differently. I'm also not excited for the actual possibility that she may bring Zack to Thanksgiving."
"Your parents would allow that? For him to be there after what he did to you?"
"My parents are too nice and they don't believe in tossing people to the side after doing something wrong. They believe in forgiveness. And they believe in respect. So, if he's Karley's date they'll allow it."
"Fuck respect," Harry grumbled. "Where was his respect for you?"
"Nonexistent." I joked, but Harry didn't laugh and I spared him a glance to see he was scowling. "Hey, who cares? He's no one now."
"He was someone to you, Avri."
"Yeah, was." I emphasized and rolled back on my side when Harry had gone silent. I met his eye and arched my eyebrow at him when I saw the trepidation on his face. "What?"
He licked his lips, his eyes thoughtful. "Do you still love him?"
Despite the fact I was surprised at the question, I made no move to show it. Did I still love Zack? The answer was an easy one. "No, I don't still love him."
"How are you so sure?"
"Why are you asking me this?" I asked and when I received no response, I poked his rib through his shirt. "Hey, what's up?"
"I'm curious." He said shortly, shrugging. His eyes met mine but there was a caution that hadn't been there moments ago. "So, how are you sure?"
I thought my answer through carefully before responding. The truth was, I knew I didn't love him because, I think maybe deep down I hadn't ever been in love with Zack. I think I thought I was and I loved him as a person, but in love? No. I was never in love with him and I made the mistake of believing I was.
"I was never in love with him," I say honestly, feeling Harry watching me carefully but I felt too vulnerable to meet his gaze. "I thought I was, but I wasn't. I didn't...feel with him. At the beginning there was excitement and happiness but I think I confused that for being in love. But that isn't what it was because that feeling faded long before we broke up. I was comfortable with him, so I didn't even remotely consider breaking things off with him. I should have though, and I think I would've if I had met someone else." If I had met you. "I loved him as a person but in love? No, not ever."
Harry was quiet the next few moments and I stole a glance his way to see him contemplating my words. He breathed out a sigh, and met my gaze. A small smile tugged at his lips. "Well, too bad for him."
I laughed and Harry rolled over me, pushing me on my back as he did so. His body fitting perfectly between my legs, the heat of his body warming my insides. He pushed my hair around from my face and placed kisses along my jawline, all the way down to my neck. I sighed and curled my hands over his shoulders. "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like?" He mumbled against my neck and tugged at my sweat pants, taking my underwear with it. "I wanna be inside my girl."
My stomach fluttered at the nickname. It wasn't the first time he used it but every time, I had tried to not react in fear it would freak him out. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah," his voice was low and his green eyes looked down at me heatedly. "Gotta fuck her well since I won't be seeing her for the next few days."
"Poor you. Whatever will you do without sex for a few days?"
"Use my hand and think of you."
I groaned and shoved him playfully as his laugh echoed off the walls of my room. He grabbed my wrist and slipped his hand into my palm, slotting his fingers through the crevices of mine. He discarded the rest of my clothing along with his own, before slipping inside me. I gasped against his mouth and curled my legs against his hips as he worked his way in and out of me repeatedly. Being with his physically, will never not be one of my a favorite activities.
"Gonna miss you." He whispered against my lips, the admittance a secret shared in the darkness of my room. My heart hammered, and briefly, I felt the same fear that this was too good to be true. That any minute, the rug would be pulled out from under me.
As quickly as it came, the fear dissipated and pleasure replaced it as he sunk deeper into me. Only look forward, I reminded myself and dug my nails into his back. I held him, because I never knew when it would be the last time.
"I'll miss you too."
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I am back :)
I am SO sorry it took me so long to update! Literally years! My life has been crazy and honestly, for awhile I had lost my ability to write. My creative juices were non existent because I hadn't felt like myself in so long. But, I am FINALLY feeling like me again. I ridded myself of a toxic job, and have been able to focus on me more lately that I got hit with the urge to write. I can't wait to get these stories going again :)
I apologize if it isn't as great as my previous chapters! I'm a bit rusty and trying to get back into the swing of it.
How is everyone though?! Covid-19 is wild and I hope everyone is staying safe! Anyone got any questions for me? Lol
I will update again soon. ❤️