"I wake up everyday and I feel okay. But there's something missing, like a hole. Some people, they fit in life or whatever. I don't. —The Vampire Diaries.
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Its Thursday today so one more day until holidays start. Currently I'm sitting in the library all my classes of the day are over and I'm completing my last assignment that I need to submit tomorrow. Tyler and his group are busy planning for their trip. There decided to go the cabin that one of their friend owns by the seashore instead of camping in the woods.
I finish my assignment and go home to freshen up before going to the café. Its getting busy nowadays since the other down the street closed down. I am walking to the café when a car stops near me. Its Tyler. He gets down the car and comes towards me. We have been texting each other since like normal friends now. And I face him whenever I see him instead of ignoring him. "Hey" I say tucking my hands in the jacket pockets.
"Hi I need a favor" he says nervously. I start walking and I nod at him to follow me.
"Yeah. Spit it out then" I say looking forward instead of looking at him because I know what could be the possibilities. He clears his throat and rubs his back of neck and looks at me as he speaks.
"I was thinking about um.....asking her out on the trip." he says too fast but I understand it." How should I do it?"
There goes my heart.
"That's great." I say enthusiastically. "Its good really you should definitely ask her out." I smile at him.
"Really? Please help me then. I don't know what to do" he asks.
"Woah. I don't know anything about dating how can I tell you? Ask Blake or someone."
"No I can't. No one knows besides you. You are my best friend " he says stopping suddenly. Bestfriend that's what I'm for him!
"Bestfriend?" I repeat staring into his eyes.
"Yes don't you want to be mine? I know we were not in good terms before but I look at you like my bestfriend. You are smart, intelligent and you are always there when I need you. That's what best friends do right?"
I just nod at him. I clear my throat and think but nothing comes in my mind. How would you advice the person you love to ask out the person they like? cant he see that him that I love him. When would he understand that? He is still looking at me waiting for my answer.
"Um.....you can give her a rose and then ask her out?" I say unsure.
He thinks for a while and then a bright smile spreads on his face. "That's a good idea! Thank you . You are the best." he comes to hug me and I wish soo bad that I would be the reason of that smile. He wraps his arms around me but mine are glued to my side, I don't hug him back. He lets go of me and looks into my eyes once before looking down at his feet. He wants to say something but decides against it and shakes his head. "Sorry to hold you up. You would be late." He says smiling.
"Oh yeah. I gotta go. See you tomorrow." I say walking away. I don't dare to look back as a tear rolls down my eye. He is offering to drop me but I just pretend like didn't hear and walk to the café. I have 10 more minutes before I start my shift so I call Avery's landline. She is still distant with me but I need someone to talk to. I ask her to come over at my place after my shift and she accepts.
The times flies by quickly at the café and its really busy. My legs are hurting and I feel like headache forming. I finish my work and leave home. I buy some pain killers on the way home and a takeout as I'm not in the condition of cooking. Avery is already sitting on the stairs of my house. She gets up as I approach her. "Hey babe rough day?" she ask hugging me. Her hugs always bring me comfort like a mothers hug, which I never got from mom. I nod and give her the takeout bag as I search for the keys in my purse.
We eat in the living room as we watch Vampire Diaries and I tell her about Tyler and everything else I wanted to share with her. She listens attentively and holds my hand as she says, "I know it hurts but its time to let him go Ivy. If he can't make you happy he doesn't get the right to hurt you. Stop thinking about him if he always hurts you. I know he doesn't know about your feelings and its not his fault but don't beat yourself for that. Let him ask her out. That's his choice. I know I told you he likes you too but he doesn't wants to show it. So fuck it. Maybe someone better is waiting out therefor you."
I think about her words. She is right I need to stop because there no chance of having him now. But I can't tell my heart to stop loving him, to let him go and that's his choice whom he wants not mine.
"I need some time Av its hard really hard."
"Of course take your time. There is no rush. But don't give up for someone who doesn't have your worth. Right?" I nod at her.
"Thanks Av. You are the best you know." I say wrapping my around her and stay in her embrace.
"Yeah." she says stroking my hair.
"Wanna stay overnight? You can go home in the morning." I ask as I clear the takeout bags from the coffee table. She takes her time responding.
"Um...Actually I told mom I'll be home you know after that incident they don't trust me to go anywhere. So I should leave soon." She says stuttering. And that's how she lies. I can always tell whenever she lies. But if she doesn't wants to stay its fine.
"Okay then" I say taking the bags to the dustbin and take out the ice-cream from the refrigerator.
"Hey Ivy. Can I use your phone? I need to make a call" she shouts from the living room.
"Yes its in my bedroom on the nightstand " I shout back.
I take the ice-cream and wait for her to join me in the living room. "Here. Thanks." She says plopping down beside me and taking the ice-cream from me.
"So how's everything with Landon?" I ask as I start eating. She stops the spoon in the mid air and looks at me.
"We broke up,actually. I was going to tell you but...." she trails off. What can she say now? That she hid that again from me?
"I get it Av. Its fine. I get it you don't like to share anything with me anymore." I say and get up to put back my ice-cream. She is behind me the next minute. Her head hung low and she is playing with her fingers.
"I'm sorry Ivy. But its my decision to make. If I want to tell you or not" she says looking in my eyes. That hurt like bitch. 10 minutes ago I was enjoying her company and now I want her to go.
"Right its your decision to make." I look at the clock on the microwave and back at her. "Its getting late your mom must be worried." I say arranging the glasses on the cabinet.
"I'll leave now. Sorry for not telling you." she says walking towards the door. I don't care to walk her out. I'm hurt and I don't care what she feels. Its always like this. She always keeps things from me. I don't expect her to tell me everything but I want to be for her like she is for me everytime she is for me.
I switchoff the lights of the living room and kitchen and go too sleep. My phone vibrates on the nightstand and grab the phone. Its Tyler.
Thanks for today ☺.
Ivy
You don't need to thank me soo much. Its okay.
Tyler.
that's why you are different from others you knw .
Ivy
no I'm just like everyone else. Its just I such at socializing.
Tyler
Not everyone deserves you Ivy.
But I deserve everyone. I wanted to say but I stop myself.
Ivy
Its nothing like that. Those are meant to stay, stay or they leave even if there's no reason. Goodnight.
I lock my phone and grab a book to read. Its the same he called me out for. Twilight.
The next morning I wake up and make a cup of coffee and sit on the stool near the kitchen counter. The memories of last night come back and I regret sitting in the kitchen. Why is it so hard to hope good things? To expect people treat you the same way you treat them? To be happy? And to feel complete? It feels like I'm missing some part of my life and I can't point out what it is. I feel incomplete and lost.
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A/N
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