Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering. - Paulo Coelho.
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I walk out from the classroom towards the parking lot. I see Avery speaking with Maya and Jay is nowhere to be seen. I walk towards her hurriedly because I know he is behind me. "Ivy" he calls out and that gets Avery's attention. Ugh. Not now you idiot.
"Not here Tyler my friends are here and I don't want to speak with you." I gritted out. He breathes out and looks back at Avery and then back at me. He looks like he wants to say something but shakes his head ."Ok I am leaving now but we need to talk and I'm meeting you outside the café after your shift" he says and walks off without waiting for my reply.
I just don't understand him. He is bossy. And what does he think he is? He can't boss me around.
Avery comes towards me as soon as he walks off. "What was that?" she asks raising her eyebrow. "Uh Mr. Grumpy pants here is on his mood swings. Nothing much" I shrug looking at his car.
"You are hiding something" she says folding her hands in front of her. How does she knows everything again!
So I end up telling her everything. She hits me on the arm once I finish my rambling. "Ow that hurt." I say rubbing my arm. "It was supposed to because you hid soo much from me." she says.
"Ohh come on. You were already sad and I didn't wanted to burden you with my melodrama.'' I say worried.
"I won't look at that as a burden Ivy and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me" she says sweetly. I nod at her. "And I think he likes you too. He hasn't stopped looking since he went to his car and he might be confused about his feelings for you. Ignoring him won't let you anywhere. Make the things between you two. You can't stop your heart from loving someone" she says rubbing my arm smoothly.
I think about us, me and Tyler as I walk home. I always have had solutions for any problem but about Tyler? everything is different. I am confused and I don't know what to do. I have feelings for him but the way he behaves with me? I don't know what I should do. I know I love him but I don't know about his feelings. What if he doesn't like me in that way? What if its not just a crush on Alexa but he loves her? I won't survive that pain. I am already suffering by seeing him staring and smiling at her . They even have nicknames for each other. I can't handle that heartbreak.
I keep myself busy the whole day to avoid overthinking and look forward to meet him in the evening to clear the things between us all at once. Even thinking about him erupts butterflies in my stomach. My shift at the café goes quickly. I remove my apron and wear my jacket and take my bag from the staff room.
As I walk out of the café the winter air hits me on the face causing goosebumps on my body. I feel his eyes on me before I see him. I look around for him and there he is leaning against his black car with his long legs crossed and his hands in his pockets. I walk towards him and stand in front of him.
"Hi" I breathe out suddenly feeling hot. His eyes look warm and happy as usual. They bring comfort to me. I stands straight and clears his throat as he speaks, " I'm sorry for yesterday I was really held up with some work so I couldn't come." he says rubbing his back of neck nervously.
" You should have at least texted me that you were not coming. I waiting for you for two hours thinking that you would show up anytime" I say furiously. Suddenly feeling angry towards him. "You wouldn't have stood upon her right?" I ask laughing lightly.
"Look I said I'm sorry Ivy. I was really held up by something. I would never do that to you." he says sincerely. I take a close look at him. He is too close to me, in my personal space. I can even smell his after shave. Its minty. He has a chickenpox scar on his right temple and a mole just below his same eye. Its visible even in the low light we are standing. I look away quickly before he catches me staring and take a step back.
"Ok I believe you this time but no excuses net time" I say nodding. "But I'm not free till Thursday, I have extra shift at the café so you have to do it on your own." I say looking in his eyes.
"Um but we have that test in Thursday." he says panicked.
I burst out laughing at him. And looks at me confused. " Look at your face. I was kidding." I say between my laughs.
"That wasn't funny" he rolls his eyes at me.
"It was for me" I laugh again.
He just looks at me while a laugh. I stop laughing suddenly feeling self conscious. I look away towards the door of café thinking about what to say. " We can meet tomorrow in the library if you want. And here this are the notes I took for you that will make easier. Just read them once you will understand" I hand him the notes I brought with me for him.
"Ok." He says nodding to himself.
"Yeah I should leave now then" I say bouncing on my heels.
"Come I'll drop you." he says moving towards the driver's seat. I look at him and his car and think about time it would take me to walk home. "I won't bite I promise" he says with a cute face.
I chuckle at him and get into his car. I won't leave another chance to be with him. I put my seatbelt as he starts the car. His car smells like his cologne. Its warm and minty and surprisingly clean.
The drive home is comfortable other than Tyler tapping over the beat of the song. He likes loud music I observe. I get down from the car as soon as we reach my driveway. He too gets down and walks me to my door. I thank him and he walks back to towards his car. He stops suddenly and turns back. He looks at me as he says " You should laugh more often. You look beautiful when you laugh." I just nod at him blushing. I swear I just fell a bit more for him then and there. "Goodnight Ivy " he says walking away.
I look at his car as he drives away grinning like a lovestruck teenager. I get inside the house thinking about the words he said for the whole evening. He texts me later that night.
Tyler
"Thanks for the notes I didn't thank you earlier."
Ivy
You are welcome.
Tyler
See you smile .Goodnight.
Ivy
goodnight ☺
I keep my phone on the night stand and sleep.
The next morning I make some pancakes for breakfast and pack some sandwiches for lunch in a tiffin box. I unplug my phone from the charger, wear my specs and walk out of the house locking it behind me.
At the college I meet Avery and we walk to the classes together. I sit beside Blake today because he insisted. The whole lecture he is telling me about the new girl he is dating. Yeah Blake is dating a girl and I'm shocked just like you. He is really is good guy and the girl must be lucky to have him. He is smart, good looking and can be very charming when he wants.
"So where did you meet again?" I whisper at him.
"Went to the same school and we were in contact since. I had a crush on her since fourth grade so I thought to give it a shot" he winks playfully.
"Oh my god. The player Blake has crush on someone." I say chuckling. He looks at me and smiles mischievously.
"At least I express my feelings unlike you. You think you can hide your feelings but put yourself in front of others for once. Even Alexa knows you have feeling for him its easy to figure by the way you look at him." he says with a serious face. What's with everyone nowadays. Am I that obvious to read?
"Its nothing like that Blake. He is just my friend." I say glancing at Tyler and find him looking at me. "See you can't talk about him even without looking at him" maybe he is right.
"I can't do that to Alexa, Blake you know she is my friend. " I say defeated.
"You care about everyone too much Ivy. Stop thinking about others. He likes YOU. Alexa is just his attraction. That idiot has no idea that he likes you. you need to make him realize that Alexa is just an attraction and eventually that will go away. But you are more that that for him" he says again with serious face.
"I don't know Blake what to do really" I shrug.
Suddenly the bell goes of and the students are running out of the classroom like its on fire. Blake gets up and starts packing his things. " See ya tomorrow. Gotta go'' he says and dashes out.
"Bye" I mutter behind him.
I pack my bag and wait for Ella and Alexa so we can walk out together. They come after few minutes along with Tyler trailing behind. It hurts me to see him everywhere near her. What if I express my feelings and I loose even the friendship I have with him when he doesn't have same feelings for me?
We chat in the hallway for a while and part our ways as we walk towards the library and Ella Alexa towards the parking. We walk in silence in the library and settle down with our things.
"Hey I need to tell you something" He says nervously sweat forming on his forehead . That's it Blake was right he is going to tell me about his feelings hopefully. I cross my fingers under the table as I wait to hear what he has to say.
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A/N
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