It was one week after your date with Spencer. Today was also Monday so you would be returning to work.
You laid in bed remembering your date. You missed his presence, his touch. He had driven you home and you almost asked him to stay the night but you thought it was too much. Next time, you weren't hesitating.
You called Clarke the next day and told her how amazing it was. She was so thrilled and told you she had to meet him. You thought now wasn't a good time since you had both been dating for only 1 week. It was decided to take it slow so you could hide it easier when work came around. Other than that there weren't any ground rules.
You got ready for the day wearing a white blouse and beige cargo pants. You clipped the sun necklace on and waited. Spencer was going to pick you up and drive to work. Maybe now you could use that time to discuss your "situation".
He came just before the clock struck 7am. You opened the back door of the car and threw your bag in and got into the passenger side. He greeted you with a "hey!" and kissed you. He handed you a coffee.
You can already smell it. "My favorite." You say.
"I know." He smiled and you lifted his chin and kissed him again. His breath smelled of coffee too.
He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. You could never get over what he looked like when he drove. The way his hand gripped the steering wheel... The way he scrunched his nose before speaking...
"Y/n..?" He was waving his right hand up and down in front of your face. "You were staring again." He laughed. You blush and look away muttering a "sorry." He smiled and looked back over. "It's fine y/n." And his hand moved to your thigh.
It was like an electric shock traveled all throughout your leg. You almost spit out the coffee that was in your mouth. His large hand lightly gripped your thigh and started to draw circles. He never took his eyes off the road.
He removed his hand when he pulled into the BAU parking lot. You already missed him even when he sat right next to you.
As you exited the car he ran over to your side and grabbed your bag from the back of the car. He gave it to you with a smile.
He knew exactly how you felt. How you felt with something as simple as his hand on your leg. His confidence was definitely growing.
As you walked in you decided to have a quick chat. "So are we telling anyone? Like I get it we don't have to I mean I don't even know if we would-" He cut you off.
"You're rambling." He smirked. You and him both had that in common.
With so much knowledge stored in your brain you always wanted to spit out the whole thing instead of simplifying it.
"I think we should wait to tell the team." He added. You nod your head in response. You weren't disappointed because that was what you thought of doing too.
The elevator doors open and Penelope is already there waiting for your arrival.
"Finally!" She gasped. "We have a case let's go!"
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"This unsub shoots and kills any and everyone who has done him wrong. He believes he is in the right and the kills are justified. He trashed the men's bodies, placing them by garbage bins and places that were deemed as 'wasteful'. While with the women he showed a little more sympathy by burying their bodies near the kill sight. This man is armed and dangerous. If you are alone and you see him do not approach him. Call for backup and wait. Thank you." Hotch concludes.
Garcia tracked his phone and found him hiding out in a house a little ways off the freeway. Hotch sent you, Spencer, Morgan, and Emily to check it out. Derek drove and Emily rode shotgun, leaving you and Spencer in the back.
One hand gripped your vest and you stared out he window. It was weird. You had this feeling that something was wrong but you couldn't put a finger on it. Your mind raced as you went over the case in your head for the 3rd time. It stopped once Spencer laid a hand on your shoulder.
"You alright?" He whispered. His voice was soft and calming. You nod your head but you really didn't know. You couldn't shake off the pit forming in your stomach.
The sun set as you pulled into the property that held the run-down house.
The old house must have been little more than a glorified shed even in it's hay day. But now it looked for all the world like a giant had sat on the roof, for it sagged terribly. The windows were gaping holes for the wind to rush in and out through and the door hung on it's hinges at a jaunty angle, although now it was really just a frame. It was a rotting heap, bowing down, subservient to the elements. Nature began to reclaim the house as grass and vines grew.
You heard Emily from the backseat. "This place gives me the creeps."
"You can say that again." Derek added.
No one seemed to be home so your guns stayed holstered with one hand hovering over it, ready.
It was quiet. Too quiet.
Your chest tightened with each step you took. Silence gnawed at your insides. Silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground. The silence was like a gaping void, needing to be filled with sounds, words, anything. The silence was poisonous in it's nothingness. The silence was eerily unnatural, like a dawn devoid of birdsong. Silence clung to you like a poisonous cloud that at any moment could choke the life from you. Silence seeped into your every pore, like a poison slowly paralyzing you from speech. You hated it.
In a matter of seconds, bullets rang through the air. You all instinctively crouched down.
"Take cover!" Morgan yelled. You all dove sideways to dodge these oncoming bullets. Spencer didn't however.
You looked over your shoulder and saw him laying on the ground. A painful scream came from you and you got up to drag him out of harms way. Your hands gripped his vest and you gathered the strength to drag him.
Derek and Emily returned fire and called for backup. You propped up an unconscious Spencer against a bush. You quickly took his vest off to see a bullet hole in his shoulder and bruising on his side where the vest caught the second bullet.
Blood now soaked onto the sleeves of your brown sweater. His skin started to change and he woke up. He groaned and reached for his shoulder. "No no! Don't touch that."
"I'm-I'm... fine y/n.." He tried to get up but you stopped him. You held his hand.
The gunfire still continued but at a slower pace.
You ripped off your sweater, leaving you in your white blouse, and covered the dark hole in his now never-seen-the-sun white skin. His breathing slowed and his head fell back against the bush.
"Spencer don't you leave me! Don't leave now!" You lightly shook him. You turned your radio on. "Where the hell are the medics!" You yelled.
The gunfire halted. He was reloading.
Derek and Emily gave each other a quick look before getting up and yelling "FBI!" As they pushed inside.
3 shots were fired off.
They both ran out back to you. "We got him! Is he okay?" Derek asked leaning by your side. Your eyes began to tear up. "I-I don't know he was shot here and here but the one in his shoulder doesn't have an exit wound..." The sobs took over and you couldn't speak.
"The medics will never make it in time..." Derek picked up his seemingly lifeless body and started running the length of the property to the distant sirens. Emily rubbed her hand on your arm before you both ran after him.
Your team arrived at the same time the paramedics did. Emily filled them in and told them about Spencer. That's when Hotch saw you.
His eyes found you holding your hand to your heart and you were crying. He walked away from the conversation and stopped in front of you. "He'll be okay." He told you. Those words didn't help you and he could tell.
Instead of talking he pulled you into a hug. At first you don't embrace it. You still cried with your arms on your chest but after standing there, you finally gave in. Your arms wrapped around him and you cried into his shoulder. He slowly rubbed your back. Hotch grew to be the father you never had growing up. He always listened.
"Go on. Go to the ambulance with him." You shook your head and left the hug. He watched you enter the rig and drive off to the hospital.
As you sat by his body you realized how you couldn't live without him.
Without him you were nothing.
You couldn't lose him. It was too early.