Mariko hadn't slept much that night, which wasn't a surprise to her. She always had a hard time sleeping when she was in a new place and arguing with Keigo just before bed didn't help in the slightest. She'd felt sick when she hung up- her insides let twisted and her throat was dry. She felt wrong, it was like arguing with him made her physically ill. The little sleep she had gotten had been plagued with nightmares mixed with memories from the horrible missions she'd done with Division 1. She only felt worse when her first instinct was always to call the blonde, only to remember she could not.
She was barely able to drag herself out of the bed to go to the airport that morning, and the cloudy skies and light drizzle wasn't exactly motivating her either. But she did, and she was able to make it to her flight just before they closed the doors- much to the gate attendant's displeasure.
She spent most of the flight thinking. Having calmed down and let the matter settle a bit, Mariko realized that even though she had done it to protect them both, she had kept her entire life story from him. She could at least understand him wanting to know more about her. That didn't give Keigo any right, however, to invade the privacy the way he did. He should've respected that she wasn't willing to reveal her past to him and what he did broke the confidence she had in him and left her in a difficult position to say the least. He'd left her with two options. 1) follow the law and report the leak to the Division 1 Coordinator and possibly get him killed and 2) Break the law of the country she had been serving since she was a child and tell him everything while praying he didn't betray her trust.
When her flight landed, she almost thought Hawks would be there to pick her up like he said he would. She quickly shook the thought out of her head; she couldn't possibly expect him to pick her up now. As she exited the airport, she looked around for any available cabs she could take to get home. It was storming, gusts of wind blew sheets of rain in her face. "And I thought the weather in Okinawa had been bad," she thought. She shuffled back and wrapped her arms around herself. She wanted to take shelter from the rain inside but couldn't if she wanted any chance of catching a ride home. Just as she had managed to wave down a taxi, a sleek black sports car pulled up in front of her. She scowled. She'd already been feeling shitty that day and had half a mind to kick the car and curse the driver out for parking right in front of her when there was a spot a few feet away. All complaints were caught in her throat however when a familiar blonde got out of the driver's side.
For a moment they just stared at each other. Neither of them moved, but they were both fighting the instinct to go and hug each other. They hadn't seen each other in three weeks and in that time, they'd suddenly become so distant... both of them wanted nothing more than to close it again. That distance, however, served as a reminder of the problem at hand. As a result, he silently took her suitcase from her and loaded it into the car while she got into the passenger's seat.
The ride home was eerily silent, they both knew they had a lot to say to each other, but neither one of them wanted to go first. They were too accustomed to keeping their thoughts and pasts to themselves.
Keigo turned on the radio, hoping to fill some of the strained silence. The happy tunes only made the atmosphere more tense.
When they got to the apartment complex, the elevator ride was just as uncomfortable, and the poor receptionist that had offered to take her bag felt it too. Unlike Mariko and Keigo though, he was able to duck out as soon as they got to her apartment.
She was the first one inside, partially relieved to be back home. She noticed some slight differences immediately; a lampshade that had been turned and was showing the side with the seam on it, a couple of picture frames placed differently than where she'd left them. Mariko sighed, realizing Hawks had most likely swept the apartment for bugs.
The blonde saw the expression on her face and a pang of guilt hit him harshly. He shook it off, reminding himself that it had been a necessary measure. "You said we would talk when you got back," he said standing behind her.
The brunette nodded and went to her room, when she came back, she was holding the box of memories that were no longer hidden and joined him on the couch.
"How much do you know?" she asked softly.
"I know that you've been an active member in the military since you were five. You served for sixteen years total. One in military training, twelve in Division 1, and three in the Special Boarding Unit. You were Mineko Shimizu's supervisor who was in the Division with you as well as Hayato Kusumoto. You were honorably discharged two years ago."
Mariko stared at him; she'd thought he known more. "That's really all you know?" she asked doubtfully.
"Yes. I wouldn't lie to you Mariko. It may come as a surprise, but most people don't lie to their friends," he spat.
She glared at him. That comment was petty. She hadn't lied to him either, not technically. She opened her mouth to deliver an equally biting comment but decided not to. She didn't want to argue with him again. "Honestly, it'd be better for both of us if you didn't know anything else," she told him.
Keigo's eyes shot up to her, his expression bitter and angry. "No. I can't accept that. No more secrets Mariko. I have to kno-"
"Why?" she interrupted. He knew enough, didn't he?
"I have to know that I can trust you," he said quietly, "I need to know that you weren't assigned to watch me by the League or by the HPSC. I can't... I need to know that you're real. That you're my friend and that you're on my side."
Mariko stared at him for a moment. She wanted him to trust her... but was that more important than maintaining loyalty to the Division? Knowing her answer, her expression softening a tiny bit. "If I tell you. No one can find out. Under any circumstances whatsoever. If word gets out, we'll be killed, no exceptions, no questions asked, she warned him.
"We?" he asked.
"Both of us. You for knowing stuff you weren't supposed to know, and me for telling you," she elaborated.
He paused for a moment, wondering if he was biting of more than he could chew for once. But it was either that or living the rest of his life doubting his best friend, and there was no way he was willing to do that. He nodded, telling her he understood.
"Division 1 is the unit that handles most long-term covert operations. Long term meaning exceeding three months," she told him.
Keigo nodded, knowing this already.
"Division 1 is also the only section of the Japanese government that employs minors," she paused. "The process is selective. They only choose orphans... people they know won't be missed when they're gone. That's why you never hear me mention my parents why I only have pictures with Hayato- we were at the same foster home" She told him.
Keigo stared at her. He hadn't seen his parents since going into the HPSC training program when he was a kid, but he'd known them. He knew where he came from at least.
"You also need to have an above-average IQ and have certain behavior patterns; they didn't pick anyone with disciplinary issues. They also looked for kids who were active and had good reflexes. I guess they thought having natural instincts would help in the field. All of us were given one year of military training. That was where I met Mineko and Araya," she said handing him a picture of three children: Mariko, Hayato, and Araya. "Mineko is the one who took most of the pictures. That one was taken on the day we met her. She was a bit older and our squadron leader, so she was always telling us what to do. After training, we were officially moved to the Division. We were all put onto the same team along with two others. Really you only had to be an active agent for a year, then you could be honorably discharged. Not many kids did though. We thought being in the military and getting to hold a gun was cool... besides, we had no place to come back to."
"Did you think it was cool?" he asked.
"At first yeah," she admitted, "They taught us how to fight and fire guns. None of us understood death at first, so fighting and kill others didn't matter until we realized what it meant- that usually happened after a year of being there, hence the mandatory service time."
"But you still stayed in the program?" he asked.
"Like I said, it's not like we had a home to come back to. At least there I had Mineko, Hayato, and Araya," she said.
"So, why'd you go to the SBU? Mineko and Hayato stayed in the Division."
Mariko shifted uncomfortably, "The head of the SBU wanted someone to transfer over from our department. Mineko had died a few months before and I realized I wanted a change of pace... so I volunteered."
"How did she die?" he asked.
Mariko froze, "That mission's been blacklisted. I'm sorry but I can't tell you about it."
Keigo nodded in understanding, she was already telling him a lot as it was. "So, you transferred a few months after she died."
Mariko nodded. "The SBU was different because you were called out for missions. It wasn't live-in like Division 1. Having the extra free time was nice I guess, but there were weeks where we went without assignments while everyone was recovering. That was around the time I bought this place," she said gesturing to the apartment.
That's why I don't remember seeing you here before," he realized.
"Right, I was only here a few weeks at a time. I think the most time I spent before retiring was a month and a half?" she wondered to herself.
"Why did you retire?" he asked.
"Hayato had left a year before. He'd been trying to convince me that it was time to settle down, but I didn't really listen to it until a mission went bad," she told him.
"Was it in China?" he asked.
Mariko's gaze became distant, "No... We were in Somalia and we got ambushed. I got hurt pretty bad and I can't heal myself, so it took a while before we were able to get some real help. I was moved for treatment and recovery and because of my many years of service, they set me up to work as a nurse at the hospital," she explained.
"Actually, almost all of the staff there was in the military, lots of 'em in the division too at some point," she revealed.
"No wonder none of them flinch no matter how bad the injuries are," he muttered.
"As for your concern that I'm in some way affiliated with the League of Villains- I'm not. The only knowledge I have of them is the stuff you've told me. The HPSC trades trainees they think would succeed more in Division 1, but I've only reviewed one case. Very few cases go through anyway. I don't have ties to either party. I have no clue what the League wants with Mineko Shimizu either. Their goals didn't align as far as I knew."
Mariko was surprised when he abruptly pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.
"Thank you. I'm so sorry," he told her. His chest felt heavy and tight with guilt for ever doubting her, but a weight had been lifted off his shoulders now.
The brunette sighed but didn't return the embrace. She was practically limp in his arms.
Keigo had expected her to ask him to share his story- make it even so to speak; but she didn't. After a minute, the blonde pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Guess that means it's my turn." He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. He opened his mouth to start speaking but the words suddenly got caught in his throat. He wanted to tell her, but part of him was resisting intensely. Another pang of guilt struck him as he realized that this was the struggle he'd made her go through just moments before.
Mariko shook her head, "No, that's okay," she said, getting up to get herself a glass of water. She'd been talking a lot.
He looked at her confusedly, "No?" he repeated.
She gave him an exhausted look. "You said you needed to know what my story was so you could be sure I was your friend. I don't need to know. Your past doesn't change the way you were always there for me when I needed you, and it won't change how I feel towards you. If you tell me, I'd rather it be when you're ready for it, tell me because you wanted me to know instead of just trying to even the score."
The blonde couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. He hated himself. He'd distrusted her, and he'd said horrible things to her, he'd even suspected she was a criminal. Just to quell his own paranoia he'd forced her to reveal a past that wasn't happy and undoubtedly difficult to talk about. She had every right to refuse, too. It shouldn't have been any of his business unless she wanted it to be, not to mention telling him was breaking the law; but she'd chosen to go over her entire life with him for his sake. That was how much she cared about him and he felt disgusted with himself that he'd ever thought otherwise.
"I'llmake it up to you," he said seriously.