A/N: Ugh! This one took longer than I planned, but hopefully, it was worth the wait. Also, if you see grammatical errors, especially with the letter "e", sorry about that. My keyboard is kind of dying on me, unfortunately. Sorry about that.
WARNING: Foul language and hart breaking themes used (as if that's new, right?)
It was hardly morning, the light of the sun barely tapping against the darkness, the moon having yet to recede from her spot on the sky's throne. The air was chilling, roads once clean now covered in snow from the overnight storm. Everything was silent, drenched in white and grey, a landscape suited for how she felt.
She tapped her foot against the ground, looking around, curses swimming into her mind as the minutes went by and there were no sights of the darned train in sight. Olaf stood beside her, trying to cough as discreetly as possible as to not alert his sister any more than she already was. Ever since that doctor called, she had been on edge, checking every corner, every shadow, locking any window, door, and crawlspace she could find. And he couldn't blame for he knew the reason why all too well.
The SCP Foundation, one of the biggest headaches any supernatural-enthusiast could come across. Their desire, to protect humanity from the creatures lurking in the dark, be it reality or one owns mind, was honorable, something that demanded respect. There were many dangers in the world, things which should never have come into existence, having creeped into the world from the darkest edges of the universe where only chaos and terror reigned. Creatures whose name should not be spoken, whose visage should never be looked upon, diseases, monsters, machinations of man that went catastrophically wrong. They should be contained indeed, kept away from man and they did so...but sometimes Olaf had to wonder if their methods were right, if the cost was justified...and if some of those creatures deserved to be there.
He closed his eyes, recalling a little, overly jolly, orange, bubbly creature which loved nothing more than to put a smile on someone's face. Beyond the stiff high personal's back, everyone gave him nicknames, from Tickly, Coco, Jolly, Smiley, etc., treating him with kindness and love, carrying for him as if he were a mere baby. Yet what did all of that mean if he was denied the most basic of right, freedom? Yes, he was needed there. Yes, without him the Foundation would have had a much harder time dealing with the anomalies. But he wasn't the only one though. And that wasn't the only problem the organization had.
Always looking for the best way to protect humanity, their methods would reach unspeakable lengths, sometimes making others question whether or not the goal justified the cost. Fortunately, Olaf didn't have to participate in any of those cases, being nothing but a lowly employee, tasted with only the most menial of tasks as he was young and inexperienced. But the guilt still lingered in the back of his mind, deep down in his heart, coiling around him, suffocating him. He left, albeit with hesitation, for he had many great friends there and had grown close to some of the creatures held captive, but it was too much for him. With his tail between his legs, and coward written all over him by his own consciousness, he left the Foundation and returned home, deciding to dedicate his life to helping others keep the supernatural creatures in check to the best of their abilities, away from the eyes and ears of the O5 council.
"Come on! Come on! What the hell is taking that freaking train so much!?" Gertrude screamed, looking at the railings.
"Calm down, sister. Screaming won't help us now." It never did but he didn't say that. She was already angry, no use in making it worse.
Unlike her brother who had some sort of compassion for the Foundation and its employees, Gertrude held no such views. She hated them with a passion, calling them useless and stupid, a bunch of self-righteous idiots which more often than not, complicated things. She had her own run-ins with Foundation members, and few ended well. When they offered her an opportunity to join their ranks, she let them know what she thought of them without regard for what may come after. Fortunately, Olaf left the Foundation before that, so he didn't have to deal with the consequences either.
"Shut your mouth and go back home." she snapped at him, anger mixed with fear and worry sparkling in her eyes.
She wanted to go alone, make sure that everyone else was ok, and while she feared leaving her brother alone, she dreaded bringing him with her even more. He thought he was sneaky, but she heard his coughs, his heavy breathing, his eyes struggling to remain open. He was tired, so very tired, but he was determined to tag along and see the others. His pretense was that if something were to happen, he could talk the Foundation into backing off, or make a deal with them at least. But that wasn't his true reason. Reality was much harsher than that and it made Gertrude want to scream and throw up.
He was almost there, the time creeping closer and closer, and he didn't want to be alone when death would come to claim his soul.
If he stayed home if he didn't force himself to travel and saved his strength. If he didn't stress himself, then maybe, just maybe...
"It will happen Gertrude. Whether we like it or not." he whispered, as if reading his sister's mind. "That's just how life goes."
He made his peace. He was ready. Afraid, but still ready. Cowering in a corner, begging for mercy, what use would it have? He would have to face it in some way or another. And there were many, so many people on the other side, faces he wished to see again, to hug, to smile, to hear laughing.
"I'm going to miss you." a voice echoed in his mind, a young girl with blue eyes and blonde hair looked at him from the periphery of his vision.
Ah! He was half-dreaming again. How silly. But at least he could have some company other than his reckless sister. One who didn't yell so much.
"I know." he thought, knowing that she would hear him.
She tilted her head to the side, avoiding her gaze, walking over to the trees of the dark forest surrounding the station, reminders of the home she had been taken away from.
"When you're gone," she began, her tone as nonchalant as ever, "I will take my revenge on them."
"Don't. It's not worth it." he tried to argue, hoping that he could sway her.
Forget and forgive was impossible for Lily, the horrors of what had been done to her having led to the sorry state of she was in. A thought, free to roam in the head of others as she saw fit, spy on their thoughts, influence them, but a thought, nonetheless. A memory. There always had to be someone to remember her, someone in whose mind she could dwell, she was as good as dead. And her travels from one mind to another was not lacking danger either. There were creatures behind the veil, beings for whom thoughts were just as delicious as flesh was to a hungry wolf, monsters for whom she would make a tasty meal. Inside a mind she was a bit safer, but she could not stay for too long. Minds were weaker while she lurked inside them, leaving the host exposed to the beings outside. Thus she had no choice but to travel continuously, never settling too much in one place and remaining only a passing fancy of whose existence very few could be sure of. Only the Foundation members knew of her nature and while most hated and feared her, some took pity and their minds became a place of rest for her. That eased her anger towards the members of that Organization, yet desire for justice still resided within her heart.
"I won't ask you to stop it, " he thought, the voice of his sister becoming background noise as he delved deeper into the dream, "but I wish you try something else to achieve your happiness."
"Like what?" she inquired.
"Well, I know some people who would love to meet you, and a fat, black cat who would adore a new partner in crime." the old man said, an image of Shade lazing around on the couch in his living room, trying not to laugh as the Pale King was accusing them of every bad thing under the sun, yet no one believed him.
Olaf said nothing that morning, but he knew that the Wyrm was right and Shade had been the one to drag his bed to the lake. He knew not what their intentions were, but they seemed harmless enough to let it slide and not rat them out.
"Are you mad?" the girl asked, coming to sit beside him on the bench in the station.
"Because you didn't tell me about the Foundation?"
"Yes."
"No." he answered, voice barely a whisper.
He was getting tired again.
"You couldn't have known."
She hated going anywhere near the Foundation and for good reason. All the other members with whom she was in contact had either left, died or...met with other unfortunate fates. There wasn't any way she could have found out about their plans in time.
She said nothing, dangling her feet, the loud cry of the train cutting the silence setting around them.
"Finally!" Gertrude shouted throwing her hands in the air. "Come on, Olaf. Time to go."
She helped him get up, trying to ignore the tremor of his body, the frail hold he had on her arm, the struggle of being awake. Dear Lord, when did he become so small? Where had the tall, easy-going boy she knew gone? She tried not to think about it. Not now. Not ever.
"Thank you for visiting me, Lily." he thought, a soft smile gracing his old visage.
The warmth in the train compartment was making it harder for him to stay awake.
"It's ok. Should have come sooner." Lily said, her visage slowly fading. "I'm going to see the others, but I'll be back soon."
"Send them my regards, please." he requested, his eyelids growing heavier and heavier.
"Will do, and Olaf..."
"Yes?"
"Don't die until I return. Don't deny me this goodbye." she spoke, putting her arms around his shoulders, her touch barely felt.
The old man groaned, a chuckle trying to make its way out of his throat. Again with these requests. Did they think he had a choice in this matter?
"I'll do my best." he whispered aloud, sinking into his dreams.
Gertrude watched him sleep, dread nesting in her as each breath he took could be the last. Perhaps it was better that he was tagging along. In that way, if he happened to pass, at last he wouldn't be alone. But she still hoped that this wouldn't happen. He had a moment of weakness that was all. He would be fine. Yeah, he...he would be fine.
She covered her face and began to sob, hot tears running down her wrinkled cheeks, her lips whispering a silent prayer to the Lord above, something she hadn't done in years.
"Lord, I know I haven't been the most faithful disciple, but please,... I beg of you,... don't take my brother from me."
✠♦✠
School passed by slowly, minutes dragging on as the teachers talked and talked, words entering one ear and coming out the other. Already heavy eyelids were getting even more so, the temptation of sleep getting stronger by the minute. Notes were scribbled down mechanically, no much thought put into any of it, minds drifting away in better places. Not even the cold crippling through the poorly-isolated walls managed to keep you awake. Even Flora was snoozing in the corner, the sound of her sleepy growls echoing through the classroom but heard only by you.
The bell rang. Good morning. Goodbye. Pay attention to this, you must do that. Homework, group assignments, projects, and grades. Need a 7 here, maybe I can afford to get a 5 there and then... Struggle to pass this class, what about the next one? Who's on duty today? Hey, did you get that lesson? Can I copy your homework? The routine was back as if winter break never came.
You stretched your arms and hands, feeling a few joints popping, the sound unsettling you a bit. Next to you, Anne was lying with her head on her backpack, wrapping her jacket tighter around her, yet that didn't stop her from shivering.
Your other classmates fared no better. Snores echoed now and then, followed by a loud thud, a groan, a few cusses now and then. Everyone was tired, bored, longing for a bed to rest their heads on, but of course, that was not possible, not for 8 hours at least. Oh, well. An open book would have to do.
The bell rang again. Class started. Rinse and repeat.
14:00 rolls around after what felt like an eternity and finally, you were all free.
"Dear Lord! That took an eternity!" you cried out, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.
You could hardly believe that you made it through the day without falling asleep.
"You can say that again." Anne commented, reaching out her healthy hand to catch a few falling snowflakes. "And again, thanks for writing down my notes today during break."
"Don't worry about that. I only hope that you can understand my scribbles." you said, scratching your cheek.
You did your best to write as nicely and well as you could, so she'll have an easy time understanding the notes.
The sky was painted grey and dark, soft silver bees falling down, drifting on the wind's wings, looking for a place to land, to keep the earth warm until winter decided it was time to go away, look for another place to settle down until spring will chase her away once more.
"Hey girls!" someone called from behind you.
You both turned around in time to see Henry come towards you, his hair a total mess, dark bags underneath his eyes, clothes wrinkled and his bag hanging loose on his shoulder. He had skipped most of the classes, hidden in the attic with some other guys, sleeping and smoking among the broken desks covered in thick webbings and rat droppings.
"Hey dude. Gotta warn you, Mr. Gibson is going to skin you alive tomorrow. He saw you while you were leaving after second period." you told him.
"He did?! Damn! I knew I should have skipped school altogether." he said, throwing his hands in the air from frustration. "Anyway, got any plans for today?"
"Sorry, but I need to be somewhere today." Anne said. "Actually," she looked at the watch on her wrist, "I should be going right now. See you tomorrow!"
"Wait An-" you called, reaching out an arm in an attempt to stop her, but she had already taken off.
You wanted to ask her if she needed help, but she was already out of your view, lost in the afternoon crowd. You sighed, letting your arm fall limp beside you. It was good that she had so much energy, but that didn't stop you from worrying about her. Anne was a kind, selfless soul. She hardly paid any attention to herself and did her best to help those around her, even if it may work in her detriment. Even today, one of your classmates begged her to let him team up with you and her for a group assignment and she accepted though everyone in the class knew that he was the kind of guy to let others do all the work, while he only came to saw the rewards. Unfair, but no one could do much about it as the teachers cared not how you distributed the work among yourselves only that it was well done. You were almost adults after all. You were supposed to know your classmates and be responsible.
You closed your eyes, trying not to cuss the guy out. You wanted to tell him off for what he did right then and there, but Anne begged you to just let it go. She said she'd do his share as well, which only angered you more, but alas, if that was what she wanted. You weren't her mother after all, nor some hero from a fairytale. You couldn't tell her what to do and what not to. Fortunately, this project was surprisingly simple, so much so that you could get it done in a day's time with a bit of help from James and his history books and adding that it was due in two weeks only made it more laughable. There was no need to stress over it.
"So," Henry began, his voice startling you.
You completely forgot that he was there.
"What plans do you have for today?" he asked.
"I want to do something for the Doll." you said, looking at Flora, who nodded and motioned you to lead the way.
"Oh, cool. Do you need any help with it?" Henry asked, beginning to walk next to you.
"Yeah, I could. Thanks for offering." you said, smiling.
The Moon Presence proposed that you make some funeral crowns for the graves in the Dream, as they meant a lot to the Doll and she had begun to feel guilty for not having tended to them as of late. Those tombs stood in memory for all the hunters that had passed away, people with whom she had made powerful bonds. Honoring those feelings by tending to the graves was bringing her the greatest joy. You and the others more than happily agreed though the gift seemed a bit grim, but if it could a smile on her lips then it was more than worth it. The White Lady offered to help in that regard, giving you some of the flowers in her own gardens but there were many graves and you doubted she had enough for all of them. The rest would have had to come from other places. How many flowers were needed for a funeral crown anyway?
"Hey, about that friend of yours..." Henry began again, his tone lacking its usual confidence.
"Yeah? Which one?" you asked.
"Dipper." he clarified.
"Oh." you lowered your gaze to the ground, your shoulders slumping.
A new wave of guilt washed over you. You hadn't heard from him since the beginning of winter holiday. No phone call, no letter, nothing. And you called yourself a friend...how utterly pathetic.
"I...I haven't talked to him in a while." you whispered, keeping your eyes on the pavement beneath your feet.
"Did you two have a falling out?" Henry inquired.
You shook your head in dismissal.
"No, it wasn't that. I..." you paused, biting your bottom lip, looking for the right words, but no matter how much your mind scrambled around for them, you couldn't find a proper way to tell him about what had transpired. "It's quite complicated."
"Ok. If you say so." Henry said and thankfully dropped the subject. "Though," he added, looking down at his feet, his tone unusually gentle for him, "if there's a problem, you can ask me for help, you know? We are buddies after all, no?"
A smile creeped in the corners of your mouth.
"Yeah. We are. Thanks dude." you spoke, trying not to grin too hard.
"Eh, you're welcome." he replied, taking out his pack of cigarettes and lighting it up. "So, how was winter holiday?"
"Too long." you answered, a sigh escaping your lips.
It was beautiful, actually. Going to Sweden, spending time with your family and making new acquaintances, laughing with Ghost and Robby, chasing snowflakes with your mouth, and burying Pure beneath mountains of snow, slipping on ice as you tried to learn how to skate. It was purely amazing. Even Gertrude's disappearance which had you all on edge and fortunately ended well, had become a pleasant experience, having learned a little more about the supernatural world, of what was out there. But those moments were now overshadowed by what had happened in the last few days, the knowledge of the trade painting everything in grim colors and stripping any ounce of happiness it could find from them leaving nothing but guilt and shame instead. May told you that it was pathetic to keep thinking about it, but you just couldn't let go of it. It was always there, in the back of your mind, brooding and aching like a bad itch you couldn't scratch. You tried to ignore it, push as far away as you could, until you found a method to solve the issue. James encouraged you to speak with him and the others whenever you needed to, but that was easier said than done. Talking didn't come easily when it was about grave topics such as this. To everyone, the whole incident was an unfortunate tragedy, something which couldn't be avoided, and they were happy enough to have you with them, but to you, it was more complicated. You didn't blame the Great Ones for what happened, good Lord, no! but there was a voice in your head, asking, nagging, wondering, what could you have done to avoid this?
"What about you?" you asked him.
"Boring like you wouldn't believe it." he said and began his long list of complains, his tone returning to its usual joviality with traces of smugness hidden behind every word.
He had a talent for tale-telling, making even the most menial of happenings funny and interesting. Even as he talked about being locked in his room trying to avoid relatives and nosy neighbors, he managed to paint an exciting picture, making you wonder if he managed to make it through the day unbothered or he failed and was subjected to wet kissed, cheek pinching and hours of lame stories about nothing from his old aunts. It made you wonder why he didn't take up writing.
Suddenly, the Great One perched up, stopping in her tracks, her face turned towards the town.
"Hm? Something wrong?" you asked her.
She didn't answer, motioning you to continue walking. Before you could ask anything more, she was gone, jumping from building to building in the direction of James' museum. Had something happened to him? No, if it were, she would have been much more hectic.
"Hey. You ok?" Henry asked, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
"Y-yeah. Flora just went to see Uncle James." you said, trying not to get too worked up over it. "Let's go."
You two walked all the way to the forest, on a path which led straight to the train station, where Grimm, Radiance, Ghost and Roby were already waiting for you. The little ones were caught in another one of their games, trying to juggle balls made of fire and ice between the two of them, with Ghost trying their best not to let themselves distracted by your arrival.
Much to Pure and Hornet's dismay, they seemed to have reached a sudden growing sprout, getting taller by the day, nearly reaching them in height. Though the former vessel would never admit it, he took some pride in being the tallest of their siblings and were a little hurt that their position was now threatened. The Princess, however, was open about her annoyance. She was among the eldest of her siblings, thus taking Pure's place as the tallest was a right belonging to her and her alone. Seeing how her younger siblings just kept on growing while she hadn't gotten even an inch taller was slowly driving her mad with rage, which was directed towards the Pale King. Her mother was a grand beast, her ancestors likewise, thus the only reason for her petite stature had to be the Wyrm. There was no other way! Ghost, on the other hand, had their head already full of dreams of grandeur, pranks played on their siblings which their old, small stature didn't allow, teasing, laughing, they already saw themselves as the giant and the rest as small ants in comparison. Despite their mature-looking exterior, they were still a reckless baby on the inside. As if determined not to lose to his friend, Robby didn't stop growing either. After his last molt, he was now reaching his father's waist, and also had become more energetic, yet not in a bad way. He was beginning to show more interest in his father's spectacles, trying to come up with his own ideas, his own style. It was a slow process, to discover his rhythm, but fortunately, he was patient, Grimm having managed to instill the idea that a good show took time and practice, one of the few concepts he was able to pass down to his spawn. As Robby was growing, the Troupe Master was becoming more protective, trying to shield his child from his own parent's antics. Fortunately, his sister was willing to help him. She was in no mood to have another chaotic madman around.
"Hey, Radiance! Grimm!" you called out to them, waving your hand.
"Hello dear!" the Moth chirped, pausing her discussion with her sibling to pull you into a tight hug. "How was school? Was everything ok? Oh! I see you brought Henry along too." she added, seeing the boy.
"Yeah. I thought it would be good to have a pair of extra hands." you said, letting go of her and going to greet Grimm.
"Hello, madam." Henry greeted the Higher Being, removing his gaze from the children's game and looking at her. "Hope I'm not a bother."
"Not at all. We could definitely use more help. Thank you for coming." Radiance said, smiling at the teenager.
"Y-you're welcome." Henry stuttered a bit.
He couldn't help but be a bit intimidated by the huge moth, her glowing golden eyes looking at him as if trying to peer into his very soul were making him feel rather uncomfortable, almost as much as those baa- oh! Fuck! He almost forgot about that!
"Something wrong young man?" Grimm asked, noticing the sudden expression on the boy's face.
"Huh? Oh, no sir. Just...just remembered something." Henry quickly spoke, regaining his composure.
Anne's aunt. He didn't think about it at first, believing the woman's admiration of bats to be nothing more than mere eccentricity, but still, the thought that there could be something more at play there wouldn't stop irking him. He wanted to talk about it, but now it wasn't the time, and he feared that his suppositions wouldn't be taken seriously. And yet...
"So, where exactly are we going?" you asked, the sound of your voice breaking the silence.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at the two adults, waiting for an answer. The siblings exchanged a look between themselves, the Radiance being the first to speak, her tone carrying a glimpse of irritation.
"I'll say this again, Grimm. I don't care how beautiful the flora in Pharloom is, we are not going there. No flower is worth us risking our lives."
"I understand that you are concerned sister, but I assure you that you're worries are for naught. Pharloom has changed since the last time we visited. The new ruler is a very kind person. It's not the savage filled land we once knew." the bat retorted, pulling his cloak closer to his body.
He envied his sister's feathers sometimes, especially during cold seasons.
"I still don't think it's worth it. Let's go to Niwen. There are far more beautiful plants there, the creatures are peaceful and..."
"Peaceful?" Grimm asked, both eyebrows raised incredulously. "Excuse me, but I don't see how a cave filled with spiders is peaceful."
"Well, " Radiance began, puffing up her feathers, "we both know that you deserved the scare. You should have kept a better eye on Divine. Any mother who feels her young are threatened would become a ferocious beast. Mora only protected her family."
Grimm opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it up, having no arguments to counter attack with.
"So, " the Moth spoke again, happy to have won this little debate, "are we set then?"
Without replying, the Troupe Master nodded, which only made her want to tease him more. She had forgotten how funny it was to pick on Grimm, the joy brought upon by this guilty pleasure awakening memories from long ago within her mind.
She was about to say something when the high-pitched whistle of the train echoed through the air, making its approach known. You all went to the platform, Ghost and Robby ready to storm off into the nearest compartment, to see who could get the window seat first. Lately, thy were making almost everything a challenge, which was both cute and annoying,, depending on the challenge. However, before any of you could move, when the train barely stopped, the door nearest to your group slammed open and out came Gertrude, red faced and complaining about the long journey, followed by Olaf, calm as ever, prompting her to cool down
"Gertrude! Olaf! What are you doing here?" Radiance asked, both eyes open wide.
The old woman stopped shouting for a bit, turning her face from her tired brother to the Old Light, her complexion relaxing a bit, only to become even more enraged in the next second.
"Är du jävla galen?!" she screamed in Swedish and you could swear she was ready to kill someone. "Some fucking lunatics are on the loose, trying to capture you and you damn idiots are here, inviting them to kick your asses in a fucking container!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
Scared, Ghost and Robby hid behind the Moth, Grimm stepping between you, Henry and the old woman, his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.
What was she on about? Who was after you? Capture? Container? WHAT WAS GOING ON?
"Det räcker!" Olaf retorted, having reached his limit.
Everyone snapped their heads at once to look at him, mouths agape and eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. Crimson began to color the old man's cheeks and nose, his previously humped posture, now standing straight. To see Gertrude angry was one thing, to see Olaf mad was... completely another, to say the least. Out of instinct, Grimm rushed to cover his child and Ghost with his cape, shield them from harm, while Radiance hurried to do the with you and Henry.
"I've had enough of your hysterics! I don't want to hear another word out your mouth!" he shouted at his sister, walking past her and down the platform, completely ignoring the woman reduced to complete silence. "Forgive my sister, guys. We're afraid we have...some problems that we need to discuss. Grimm, could you please teleport us to the house? I'm a bit tired and..." Olaf didn't get to finish his sentence, a cruel-sounding cough beginning to hit him.
"Of course, sir." the Troupe Master said, letting go of the children and going to help the old man who seemed to crumble at the slightest breeze.
Concern and fear began to eat at your heart once more, mind racing to make sense of the chaos but only fueling your anxiety more. You felt Henry's hand grab your and squeeze it hard, his cold palms startling you. You looked at him, the dread shining through the calm façade he tried to maintain. You squeezed his hand in return, hoping that by doing so, you'd both gain a little more courage to make it through this.
"It's going to be alright." felt once more like just another lie.