39
JJ's POV
John B and I sat on the porch that evening talking about life, but when the topic changed to Y/N my mood shifted.
"I just wanna hold her, man. I thought I was gonna lose her when Barry took her but she won't even look at any of us since we got her back. What the fuck did he do to her?" I confessed.
"You were like this," John B mused suddenly, and I turned to look at him.
"When things were bad with your dad. You wouldn't let us hug you, you'd flinch if we moved too quick. You didn't like being touched."
"You think that's what up with Y/N?" I asked genuinely. I guess it made sense because Barry had beaten up badly, but as much as I hated to think it, her dad had also abused her so I was confused as to why this would affect her as much as it was.
"Well you've seen the state of her, Barry wasn't gentle and maybe it's affecting her more than she's letting on," John B shrugged.
His words were playing in my head for a while, so I sat at the foot of the sofa, careful not to touch or sit too close to Y/N; I wanted her to be comfortable around me.
"Baby, there's no point pretending like you're fine because you're clearly not. And- I-I think maybe you're pulling away from us because of what Barry did. And I out of all people understand it. But I want you to know I would never hurt you, and when you're ready, we're here for you."
I wasn't expecting to get a response but she shuffled slightly until we made eye contact. I couldn't read her expression but it was a step that she was even looking at me.
"Thank you."
I gave her a soft smile before leaving the room. If all she needed was time, I could do that. I wasn't about to lose my girl again for no reason.
The next few weeks were probably the hardest of my entire life. Y/N wouldn't let any of us touch her, she was distant in conversation, she would only sleep on the sofa and she still wouldn't speak about what had happened at Barry's. The whole situation made me feel like shit but I respected her wishes of wanting space so didn't try to push anything.
The only positive was that her injuries were healing quickly which made me feel better because she was physically returning to herself, if not mentally yet.
Y/N's POV
I knew the others were confused as to why I was pulling away from them, but I didn't deserve to have them as friends. Barry was right; I was worthless and a burden on them. I was holding them back.
I knew JJ didn't love me and he would get bored soon, but I was so in love with him that I knew it would hurt when he ended things. That's why if I created some some space between us, it would be easier when it ended.
That's what I told myself at least.
The truth was it was killing me being apart from my friends, when they'd rescued me and looked after me, but the voice in my head was constantly telling me I annoyed them and it was hard to block it out.
I was doing a good job at creating space between JJ and I until one night I had a nightmare, and in my half asleep state I found myself back in JJ's room, in our room. Before I could process that this small move was ruining my plan, I crawled into bed beside him.
He jolted awake at the sudden intrusion but his eyes softened when they fell on me.
"Hey," he smiled softly.
"Hi."
We spoke no more words as I let my battered body settle into his, his arms coming to wrap protectively around me, so tightly as if he never wanted to let me go.