Some nights are longer than others for a reason.
JULIET HARRISON'S POV
I've never wanted something as much as I wanted that specific role and for that specific film production . Most of us here have worked really hard to earn the role. I might be talented but so is everybody else in this theatre. My skills are exceptional enough but I can be as unique as I can be but if a role isn't meant for you then you won't get it. But despite all this, I'm still going to give the best audition of my entire life.
Dorothea.....
That's the film.
A story about a girl who left Tennessee in pursue of a dream just like everybody else who leaves home. What attracted me to Dorothea's story is her heart. I don't think I've ever read such an interesting script in my life about any character before. I want to be the leading actress in this film, I want to play the role of Dorothea, and I'll do anything to deserve it.
I walk into the main dressing room of the Renaissance theatre. Thomas calls me to his side by the large wardrobe, his face not enthusiastic at all about today's audition. "You don't look so happy?" I said to him.
He tied his black curls back roughly, "I got fired today, from hence forth I can no longer afford to live in my apartment, pay for my tuition here at the theatre and live in San Francisco for that matter."
What?
"How? Why? Your boss loves you."
"Not anymore. I made a mistake Julia and I don't want to talk about it. I can't believe I fucked up my favorite job."
This is devastating news. Thomas loved that job. He's been dreaming about working at Gold star's since he was fifteen. When he got this job , he was the happiest man on earth. And I can't imagine how crushed he must be.
Thomas is the type of person who never makes a reckless mistake. He always plans ahead and executes his project brilliantly. He got the both of us into this theatre. Left his parents house because he couldn't stand being influenced by anybody else other than himself. When he says that he can no longer afford to stay in San Francisco, its because he'd rather die than go back to living at home, or let someone else take him into their house. And that includes me. Although we've been best friends for years.
"I either act my ass off today and earn a role in that Dorothea film, or I'm leaving the states." He said, "And I don't even think I'll fit into that film. Dorothea is the kind of movie for a person like you. You have the right look for the main character, the right mindset, your image matches the timeline and the aesthetic. It's like the film was meant for you. I need to start soul searching to discover what country should I go too next." He sounded so broken and I would be pulling him into my arms right now if it wasn't for the fact that he dared to say he'll be living San Francisco and me behind.
Does Thomas even register what he is talking about? What sort of reasoning is this? Deciding on matters so quickly without any second thoughts?
"You are blowing everything out of proportion here. You can always get another job. Besides, this has always been our dream, you want to just leave me here out of the blue. Saying you'd rather forsake everything than work somewhere that isn't Gold Stars. Don't be a child." I didn't intent to sound upset but I couldn't help myself. Clearly Thomas is far from acting like a child.
He looked at me with pure desolation and I wanted to console him more than anything but I didn't.
"You know exactly how I won't work somewhere I haven't been dreaming off. Gold stars was my biggest shot at making it big in LA. And if I'm not going to LA through Gold Stars then I'm not going to LA. Change of dreams now."
"What the hell has gotten into you Thomas?" I tried maintaining a steady and calm voice. Where did he even get all these ideas from?
"Common sense Julia. I'm not going to live a life I didn't dream off just because I should settle for less. If one dream doesn't work. I'll dream another bigger, better and make it happen. I promised myself I'll only stay in San Francisco if I get Gold Stars, and I'm fired, and that's the end."
It's getting harder and harder to stay calm and collected. So he has been making such plans without even sharing it with me. What happened to never keeping secrets from each other?
And Why would Richard fire him ? Thomas is so good in film produsing compared to acting. Out of all the trainees in renaissance for film production, Thomas is the best.
"Why didn't you tell me you were planning on abandoning me at some point? God damn you- Thomas? Don't do this to me."
"I've made sure You got accepted into this institution, here all your dreams will come true. Soon enough you'll be acting in LA. That's enough for you to let me leave and follow my own dream."
I want to argue but instead...I walk away. I have no right to interfere on his decisions. He's been my closest person, practically a brother to me and all of this is more than painful. But I know it probably hurts him more to lose this job and having to leave San Francisco, so I agree with myself not to start a misunderstanding. He needs encouragement not confrontation. But right now, I'm on the verge of tears so I'd rather exit this room.
"Excuse me, I need some air." I storm out of that place.
"Julia..." He called out to me but I ignore his plea.
Rushing to the bathroom, I check if anyone is inside and once the coast is clear, I lock the door behind me. The tears fall and I can't even stop them.
What the hell has gotten into him? Whenever Thomas has that look on his face, the one where he knows nothing on earth will stop him, the kind of look that fires his brilliance and intellect, then nothing is holding him back or changing his mind.
I can't afford to be worked up before my audition. Breathe Juliet, breathe. I pull myself together and try harder to push back the thoughts of Thomas and his bent decision to forsake me.
Daniel gave me specific instructions to run my scripts again in his office so he can access and judge professionally my progress and entire performance for one last time before meeting the directors and producers of Dorothea.
I find him waiting for me in his office. Fifteen minutes late , all because I was crying over Thomas and slowly losing my mind in that bathroom.
"You aren't dressed for the part yet. There won't be time to do that later. You were suppose to be ready by now.." His blant voice alerted my senses. I completely forgot to prepare.
"I apologize sir, it won't happen again."
"Juliet, you have one shot at this role and I'm not seeing an actress ready to take on the biggest role of her debut. You show up fifteen minutes late, disoriented and crying."
Crying?
I quickly wiped the tears I hadn't noticed were still falling.
"What has happened to you?" His voice was no longer stoic rather gentler. He only ever used that softer tone when I'm in his apartment, our bodies glued to each other.
"I'm sorry for showing up like this. But I promise you that I'm ready for this ."
"Alright, I presume you've memorized the entire script by now. Pretend this office is your stage and I'm the director and writer of Dorothea. Make me feel that you not only understand what it means to be Dorothea but make sure I see and hear Dorothea."
"Okay"
We run the lines in that office for almost three hours. What I though would last for a maximum of forty five minutes, ended up taking longer.
"You are not ready for this Julia? Not yet?"
"I will try harder. .....Let's run the lines again." I insisted. "Please, I need this role."
Daniel looked straight at me. "Do you want the truth?"
My heart was beating on my face.
"You are most likely to win this audition than any one else in Renaissance. But you are far from being Dorothea. I don't feel her being revealed in your acting. I only see an excellent actress performing a role but I don't see Dorothea. You need to be Dorothea."
Daniel continued to offer his analysis. "You haven't connected with this character yet."
When Daniel comments, the critic is accurate. There isn't a doubt that he is right about me. I walk out that office with the awareness that I'm winning this role but only because I acted it perfectly enough but I probably won't do Dorothea justice. And that truth is aching my bones.
Why do I want this part so badly? Because the film Dorothea is brilliant. It describes so perfectly how the world builds you up, flies you so very high.. only to tear you down . How the world makes you think that there's nothing you can't do, how it works everything in your favour only to throw weapons against you. And then it forces you to get up again, collecting those pieces of yourself that are still fixable and then it convinces you again that you are exceptional. And so Dorothea is the rose trampled on the ground but still as red as it once blossomed. No one can take their eyes off her. They tell her she is lucky but she just feels used.
I enter that audition wanting the part .....and I walk out of there with the role in my hands. The producers are impressed and eager to sign me up. But I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be. Because Daniel's words just keep running in my head. I buy a bottle of vodka and drink it in my car, drowning at the parking lot. I weep for the hell of it. Thomas popping in my head once in a while to make me feel like a piece of shit.
At around midnight, I finally decide to go home. Paul will be there waiting for me to deliver my good news but I'm a wasted fool. I know he doesn't actually care and only pretends to be interested because he knows I'm a lonely girl with nobody to give exciting news to.
I can barely see over my blurry eyes as I drive. The road to my house has few cars and I thank the heavens.
But I forget that accidents follow me wherever I go and without even anticipating it, my car runs over a man who is crossing the street. I can swear there's a green light. I hit the breaks way too late, unable to dodge the bullet.
I rush out of my car, stumbling over my feet and praying that the man isn't dead. I find him granting on the ground while holding his leg. My hands cover my mouth as I witness blood gashing out of his broken leg. Bone and flesh visible to the naked eye. I throw up instantly beside the man, the vodka Poison leaving my guts. Everything was happening so fast.
I drop to his side on my knees and instantly apologized for dear life, "I'm so sorry about your leg......please."
"Call the fucking ambulance." He swore with tension in his deep voice. "Fuck."
God!
I call the hospital immediately, and then proceed to inform the police. I'm probably going to jail for this but I deserve that for what I've done.
The police ask me for the man's name, age, the location of the incidence and the hospital he'll be going to.
"Sir, the police want your full name." I reached out to him.
I dreaded the way his cold eyes pierced into my guilty conscious. But I couldn't help notice the beauty of those diamond blue eyes. I don't think I've ever seen eyes so fierce but delicate as those pair of orbs. If I wasn't in this situation, I'd stare for longer.
"My wallet is inside my jacket pocket." He told me and I drew it out of the black coat, taking out his National ID and reading to the police full detail.
"The man is Nathaniel Wilbur, 29 years old. "
____________
Any thoughts?
-Lynn
Also,
Nathaniel pov is 2007 through 2018
Juliet pov is 2019 and henceforth (when she is nineteen but Nathaniel and Gwen are older)